So, we get home from a few days in Idaho Falls. While we are there, we are blessed to enjoy about 5 hours of sunlight. Total. Grrrrrr.
While we are there, my sister and I gave my mother a weeded and newly planted corner flower bed, for Mother's Day. Yep, 2 weeks ago. We have been waiting for it to stop raining and SNOWING to get going on this project. Not happening yet. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
My brother Jake makes it home from Oklahoma after being gone for 5 months at boot camp and specialized training. He comes home with an eye infection and without glasses to wear plus the weather is yucky, so no motorcycling for the Sargent family. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Darren and I make it home to our house, just in time to miss protecting our newly planted veggie garden, from frost. So all our pepper plants AND tomato plants are dead. Frozen. Dead. It's the end of May, for Pete's sake. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
It's official....I've become a Mother Nature/weather Grouch.

Mother's Day....and the longest post, ever.

I was reading a few days ago and the author, talking about her concerns in the world we live in, said, "It takes a village to raise a child, and most girls don't have a village." I pondered that and applied it to my own life. Who is in my village? On this Mother's Day, I want to thank those who have been my "village."
My mom, I'm sure, had serious questions about all things parental the day I became a teenager. Worry, stress, worry, hope, stress, arguing, hugging and everything that goes with that seems to go up on the negative side of the scale. Looking back, if you do it with any kind of responsibility and compassion, you realize that most everyone in your life, is doing the best they can. Or at least trying to. Even Mom. And maybe you really are "unreasonable" sometimes and a "pain in the rear" to parent some days. As we grow older, the gift of being older is wisdom, but the wisdom comes as we do our looking back with new eyes. With a new heart. As we apply all things sacred and hard and rewarding about being a mother. We feel grateful for Mom in all her colors and realize it is part of the tapestry of who she is. I told my mom, in jest of course, that all my siblings were just copying me. I'm the one who made her a mother (as I am the oldest). Although I was kidding, there is some truth to that. We've known each other the longest.....and that's a lot of "looking back" time.
I have a friend that I have now known for 20 years. She was about my age now when we first met. It has been quite awhile since we've visited. The last couple of years we have lived closer and been able to see each other a little more frequently. Often, as I look at this relationship especially, we don't realize the impact another life can have on our own, until it's gone. Part of that is the nature of staying in the moment, and part of that is being less aware or grateful in those moments. My friend was my first experience of safety and love outside my family circle. As I do a little looking back, I am amazed at those who make you part of their brood, even when you aren't theirs. I have always believed that family is what you make it, the rest is paperwork. A relationship, with the foundation primarily built of materials one would get at an ethics meeting, can't convey the depth of one human nurturing another. I've watched her get a Masters and then a Doctorate, have 4 children, be a fantastic mother to those children, be a wife who truly loves her husband, and a myriad of other things. I have come to love her solid foundation of self, and yet be open completely to another person's truth. She reminds me often that I should be grateful for my hair and my ultra white skin (yes, I don't know why either) and I covet her ability to hold her own in any crowd, see a different person in me than I see, cry with me when I tell her a tender story, and have us both laughing in another moment. I have been a collector of mothers....and she's a jewel in that collection.
My aunt Catherine is one of those in my village that I now believe would have kidnapped me, dyed my corn silk baby hair black, and kept me for herself, if not for the unfailing love she has for my mother. I look back through baby pictures and there are A LOT of Cath holding me, and I know she really enjoyed me. I see a lot of myself in my aunt. In both my aunts, but particularly Cath. We both deal with bad headaches sometimes. Hers are migraines. We both have the same 2 teeth baby teeth that don't have permanent teeth below. We both have a unique sense of humor and find funny things in all kinds of strange places. We both love water (as do many in my family) and animals, and rooting for the underdog. We both hit rage if we see anyone being unkind to animals, babies, or old people. If we see a man in a western movie get shot, we worry about the horse that tumbled not the bleeding guy in the show. Is that bad? Thank you for being a part of my village. I love you.
When I was about 16 or so, my cousin, who is 3 years younger than my mother, moved back to IF. It was a time of growth for many in my family. My Dad was battling Chrones disease on and off for years and the couple of years before her move, it was scary bad. I honestly thought we would lose him. I found myself on this ledge-like feeling in my life. I felt overwhelmed and tired. So tired. I remember how very gently and kind of sneaky, she helped coach me back. As I look back on that time, I often am fascinated by who would think to notice me and who would know I needed some support. People who don't "have to" love you, but choose to. I do not believe in accidents, so I know I was born into the family I was for many reasons.....but I also know many were put on my path as one would toss flowers along your way, simply because something greater than you, knew you needed that gift. Thank you for being such a pretty pink flower on my path.
I have 2 nieces (actually 1st cousins once removed, but who wants to say that each time??? "Niece" is easier) who are 15 and almost 11. Although not mother figures, they are definitely an intimate and deep stronghold of my village. I've been granted many blessings in the lives of these 2 nieces. Namely, seeing one come into this world, and getting to be part of their lives from the very beginning. They are very different from each other, and so it has made me learn double what I would've otherwise. They are beautiful inside and out. They are grounded in who they are and positive energy wherever they go. They are funny, oh so funny, and came into my life when I was old enough to appreciate what it was like to have access to an infant whenever I wanted it. I wish I would have appreciated that more. I now look at them and they are young women, not really even children anymore. I think we really expect people to stay the same. I realized that would be sad. We aren't meant to slug around this world, we are meant to grow. So, we have to let-go and enjoy babies becoming women, people making changes in their own lives that might affect our relationship with them. I am humbled by the mothers they will be. By the young women they are becoming.
When I was began dating I knew whomever I would marry I would also be marrying his family. I watched family after family be torn apart and never repaired because they couldn't make it work with the "in-laws." I guess there wouldn't be so many jokes about it if there wasn't some major truth to it. I knew I needed to have a different experience. I really, really wanted to love my in-laws. I met Darren's dad first, as he was the Bishop of my new ward in Utah. I noticed 2 things.....how he always looked you in the eye, and how genuine he seemed. When I finally met Darren, I knew his parents and his brother well. Not long after we were married, his mom and I were having a conversation about our families and we noticed a similar name. After a little research we found out where we were related. So really, we were family already. :o) Although we have had to work through our share of in-law struggles, I have great love and respect for Darren's family. I am grateful his Mom has been part of my village. I am a better cook because of her. She's so fun to tease because she has an absolutely contagious laugh. His mom would sell you on Ebay to get to your baby because of her great gift to nurture. Although our roles with her are different than other relationships in her world as we don't need her to take us to Dr appointments, or clean our house, or make our dinner, or tend our kids.......we love and appreciate the authentic and genuine person she is. One who is an important part of our lives. Not for what she can do for us, but for the beautiful threads she brings to our tapestry.

Happy Birthday, Cecile

I am very behind in my blogging efforts.......to catch up, a birthday blog.
Cecile is one of my oldest and dearest friends. I think it's safe to assume that she won't murder me for posting mostly camping pictures, but when we did anything else, neither of us remembered a camera. I think the bravest test of friendship is looking horrible in pictures and loving every minute of it because of who is in that picture with you.
I'm pretty sure she had a secret staff of salon elves somewhere in her tent, because I actually LOOK like I'm camping. This one is the summer before I left for Washington, DC. It was tradition for us to get a picture together by the cabins before we left. Although the quality of this picture is horrible, thanks to my old 110 film, the message in it is clear. I was at home here. Both in the mountains and with Cecile's arm around me. For someone so sweet, with such a love of the gospel and a true and deep relationship with her Savior, all of which changed my life......she's also one of the most hilarious people I've ever met. This photo was taken in the same exact place, the summer after I returned from DC. I was only home for 3 or so months before moving again to Bountiful. I think Cecile was the camp director and I her camp assitant, whatever that means. I think it's a calling created by her to get me up to Darby to torture me while there. Every. single. year. of camp, fell on the week of my birthday. Cecile came up with new ways to celebrate. One year, she put little treats all over my sleeping bag, and totally unbeknownst to me....pine cones IN my sleeping bag. So you get all warm by the fire, run to get into bed, to find you aren't alone. I believe I had helpers duct taping her in the cabin. This would be the only evidence that she was camping.....the monster fire she had going, and the famous, Brady Bunch 70's Jacket. It isn't camaflouge.....not even close, in case you are wondering. I am smiling way too big in this but of course, Cecile made a comment here, which made laugh, right when Darren took the picture, while she sits there looking angelic. Completely misleading. Some times we live our lives by working, teaching, cooking, cleaning, moving, etc....and many times we look back and think " where did the time go" quickly followed by "where have I made a difference." Or sometimes we look at our lives today and realize where we are on our journey and feel profoundly grateful for the blessings that surround us and the people that love us and the trials we've triumphed. But sometimes in looking at today, we forget the people that picked us up when we were down, dusted us off, looked us in the eye, voiced their love, and walked awhile with us. It's important to let them know, and to say thank you. So, Cecile....thank you.

Favorite Movie Clips

One of my favorite parts of Sleepless.......men, gotta love them.

Fort Jackson, South Carolina

Sorry about the song quality.....I couldn't get it clearer after 4 attempts.

My 2nd to youngest brother, Jake, graduated from boot camp this last weekend. This is a minute of family time before he was shipped to Oklahoma for another few months of specialized training. I'm ready to have him home, but so proud of him. Of all my siblings, he's the most shy, the definate homebody, and other than me at this age, no one in my family have ever ventured this far from Idaho. Jake went to South Carolina and I went to DC.....something about adventure in your twenties.

Easter...One of My Favorite Things....

*This is a favorite piece of art for me. There aren't many artists who can capture what I feel the Savior looks like. This is closer. But more so, the emotion that Mary is feeling is captured so well in this piece. I believe she had a strong testimony of Jesus' teachings, as did others. How exactly all of this would come to pass, she didn't know. There wasn't a history ever taught on resurrected beings before now. He was the first. The thought that her Lord was in fact gone, and perhaps his body stolen, would create emotion as we see here, I believe.

*In the scriptures, it tells us that at first, she believes him to be the gardener. He must have looked as his physical body looked, but something about him in this new "phase" was unfamiliar to her. It wasn't until He said her name, that she knew who He was. Something in the way He said it, or her memory of that gentle, loving voice uttering her name....was familiar. I absolutely love that. There is a powerful lesson there in knowing the Master's voice and knowing that He knows each of us intimately, by name.

*I also loved having General Conference land on Easter Sunday this year. This doesn't always happen and this year I felt the power of that Easter morning and all that it means for mankind, a little differently this year. It is interesting to me what each person comes away with. When Darren and I were talking, he mentioned that there seemed to be a few talks on duty. I remember one. But I heard many talks on the importance of the nurturing gift of women. As I have walked this short path of life, it seems to me that an non-nurturing environment is more damaging to grow up in, than half of the calamities and iniquities a people can inflict on each other. I believe we underestimate the power of a nurturer. And we forget how important it is, as women, that we nurture each other.

*One of my favorite one-liners from Conference came from one of the Seventy, Elder Foster, and he said, "A distraction does not have to be evil, to be effective."

*On a secular side......I love the promise of spring, baby anything (kittens, bunnies, chicks, etc), pastel colors, blossoms on the trees, egg hunts, Easter treats, and dinner with family. I think it funny that to celebrate a holiday the Jewish population does not recognize......we serve ham. :o)

General Petraeus Visits BYU

Our 4 star General who is serving in Iraq, decided to accept a visiting/speaking assignment at BYU. To open, he listed 10 reasons that BYU graduates make good soldiers. It's quite funny!

• 10--They have already been on many a mission
• 9--Army chow is no problem for folks accustomed to eating green Jell-o and shredded carrots
• 8--It's not a problem if they don't know what rank someone is, they just refer to them as Brother or Sister so-and-so
• They never go AWOL. They just call it being less active
• 6--The will seize any objective swiftly if you tell them refreshments will be served
• 5--They know how to make things happen. In fact, if you ever need a base built quickly in a barren wasteland, stride out to where you want them to start, plant your walking stick down and say in a loud voice, "This is the place."
• 4--They have innovative ideas for handling insurgents--like assigning them home teachers
• 3--They always have a years' supply of provisions on hand
• 2--They are the world's most reliable designated drivers
• 1--The understand how far Iraq has come over the last seven years, and they think that Iraq's old spot in the "Axis of Evil" can now be filled by the University of Utah.

Pretty clever from a 4 star general who has probably seen his share of iniquity and tragedy. Just a funny for your day! :o)

My Sister & I As Official Midwives.....

Amber, my sister, calls my mom and I to head over to her apartment because she has a pregnant mother cat, who's water just broke. Of course, the pull of seeing brand new baby kittens was too much. Mama Minerva (since we couldn't come up with a better name very quickly) was happy to have a little tummy massage while in labor. She purred the entire time.After way too long, and one kitten that didn't make it, she managed to issue 5 other live kittens! Two grey, two black, and one very striped baby who looks a lot like mama. In this picture you can see 3 of the 5. The other two were sleeping under her chin and one of her arms.

I couldn't help but check on them every other minute and I really couldn't help but holding them every chance I got. This one is with little stripey..... With one of the little black ones......who boobed and cried the ENTIRE time I held him.........and then one of the little grey ones.....

Don't laugh at my hair in these last two.....I had just had it cut and there wasn't time for styling. I was on kitten detail.

The Warm Fuzzies of Fun Memories

Some photos taken over the course of last year. Trips, activities, and people that I love. Not tons of Darren or I and none of us together. Next post, I promise.

Not funny....not funny

So, Mother Nature made a hypocrite out of me and a mockery of my last post. I woke up this morning to at least 1 1/2 feet of snow outside. Seriously???

There's A Rumor.....

.....that spring is coming. Evidence of sunshine is all around outside today. Dare we hope? Are we ready for yard work? Fresh grown veggies? And of course, hummingbirds? Um, I am! March 1st is a great day for sunshine......of course, so is every other day. :o)

February, I think.....

One of the sweetest things my Valentine did for me this year, was opt not to buy something that wasn't quite within what we had budgeted for. There really isn't much out there that has monetary value that Darren or I obsess about. We live pretty simple, content lives and are grateful for that. But instead of trying to impress me with "things", I felt impressed and grateful that he took me to dinner, took me to feed the ducks down by the river, and just knowing he was thinking of me, made me grateful for such a sweet Valentine. It might not seem very romantic, but a sweet man that will take care of you by looking out for the "long run", is VERY romantic.
So, we were in IF for Valentine's Day and luckily we never eat out. We live in Declo. Yeah. We opted for something fun and sensible and so we headed over to Applebees. One of the bothersome things about Applebees is they are CONSTANTLY changing their menu. One of the bonuses is, they are constantly changing their menu. I opted to try something new. Not out of bravery, out of desperation when I realized my stand-by wasn't on the menu anymore. I chose the spinach & shrimp salad with a bacon vinaigrette. Three words. To. Die. For. Generally, those words are reserved for family and country, but in this case, it's true. So good!

On the downside.....my Aunt Catherine had to put her Pomeranian, Annie, to sleep a week ago. Annie was about 13 and suffering from kidney failure. This is the 5th of the Poms my aunt has had through the years (not all at the same time) and felt particularly hard for all of us. Pets truly become part of the family.....if you are doing it right. Annie, at her heaviest, was about 3 pounds, so she was a fun little thing to travel with and pack around. She's a cute little thing and hopefully feeling better and happier running around dog heaven with Tajj, Espree, Honey, and Dove. Today I am grateful for all the little critters that make life just a little more fun.

I Never Know How To Title A Post

Do you like it? Really, unless it's an obvious post about Christmas or a trip we've taken. In January and February, and well, every other month it's just kind of random journaling.....thus the title problem.

UPDATE:

*We put my little brother, Jake, on a plane bound for South Carolina for boot camp at Fort Jackson. Jake's only been to Boise in the last few weeks. Holy cow. Is it possible to be so proud of him for being brave and so sad that childhood was over long before I realized it? Being the oldest it's been a stark realization that my family, my siblings, are all adults now. I don't know how Moms do it. I miss you already, Jake.

I had a little experience this week that was frightening for me. I am grateful that in my old age, I appreciate the varieties of people in my world. And I have quite a bit variety. Having family that empowers you to be a better and stronger you, and oft times sees much deeper into the chasm of strength that lies within each of us, is a gift and a blessing. Each new experience helps me understand another layer as to why the family is of central importance to our Heavenly Father. For these 2 people, I am very grateful. Lastly, I miss this place. It's actually my grandparents place out on the Snake River in Idaho Falls. I miss their house, I miss them, but I miss living near family. It's been 15 years since I lived in the town I grew up in. I'd like do-overs. Not forever, but for a season. It's such an important bonding experience to move away from home and especially to have your own household, just the two of you, when you are newly married. Now that we are old hat at this :o) (11 years in May), I'd like to be more of a ready support to my family. Can anyone arrange that? :o)

Bleh....it was inevitable

Um, January.....in Idaho.....in a town with 340 people.....with wind.......rain.....wind....drizzle......wind.....post holiday clean-up......wind.....you get the picture, right? I think I need a little vitamin boost and a trip somewhere fun. January is the start of a new year, which should be exciting. It's also the beginning of resolutions and tax season coming up. Wow. Really, that just feels like more wind.
My darling little brother, who is 22 and not so little anymore, heads off to boot camp in one week. One week. Sigh. So good for him, but not fair he is going somewhere less windy and warmer, and I will miss him too much to think about.
On the upside, my Grandma Snow, my mother's mother, turned 92 on the 12th. I can see the wisdom, if you actually have it within your power, to have a baby in January. It definitely gives you something to look forward to that doesn't include w-i-n-d.
What do you get for someone who has probably owned anything twice in her lifetime? I decided to enroll her in Jennz Meal of the Month Club. So every month I am in IF, I will make her something homemade and yummy for dinner, complete with a visit. It's really a win-win. I might have done it to get a little time with Grandma, but that's a win-win too, I hope.
I need a book list......something that doesn't have "wind" in the title.....and doesn't take place in the dunes of the Arctic. Quickly. Cabin fever is the leading cause of death in Declo. Okay, maybe not. Maybe just at our house. ;o)

New Year's Weekend 2010

As part of his campaign for "it hurts my face to shave everyday even though I've been doing it for 15 years" Darren likes to not shave over Christmas break. It gives his poor sensitive skin a break and that is always nice. He's good about keeping it trimmed and looking clean
and we have a tradition to document the end results just before they end up in the drain.
Here is the before photo..... sorry about the nostril shot. I took it sitting down.This is the half way mark...... Darren's facial whiskers remind me of a bag of skittles. He literally has almost every color in his beard. So funny!

In Idaho Falls, while visiting with my family over New Year's, we woke up to this. Isn't it beautiful? It was disappointing to come home to Declo and find that it looks like a nuclear site.....a little crusty snow and bunches of dead sagebrush. I do love a heavy snowstorm!

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and a fun New Year. I am convinced that 2010 will bring about some good news, some changes for good, and some unexpected blessings for all of us.

Let's be on the look out! Our love to each of you.

Christmas 2009

This year was our Utah year. Although is is important to gather with family and to take turns, I think we are getting to a stage in our lives where it is becoming fun to stay home too. We might think about that in the coming years, but this year was A Wasatch Mountain Christmas.
In this picture of Mom and Elphie, I managed to get it right when Elphie is thinking, "See? I am so cute, I knew we would be friends. Let me lay on your lap." Mom....the smile is deceiving.....she is thinking "Get. Off. Me. Now. Don't make me throw you into space with witnesses in the room." She's a good sport. Mom, I mean. :o)

We spent the week with Darren's parents at their house. Darren's mom is a terrific hostess and was very patient with 2 more people in her house and 2 instant pets. Yes, we brought Oliver and Elphie. They were actually on their best behavior all week until the very last day. By then we think they were getting just a little too comfortable. You have to love the picture of Oliver trying to play the game Dad and Darren are playing and Elphie and Oliver just chillin' with the boys. It's funny to watch them.

Other than not joining them for games one evening and going with Darren's brother and sister in law to dinner or when we didn't go to RS & Priesthood and came home to get dinner started, things went pretty smoothly. One of the two snuggling, and the other is Elphie at our home perched like a prairie dog on the heater watching me make toffee. So funny.

I am grateful for Darren's family for many reasons but this year I noticed how different each sibling is from the others. They all have the foundation of kindess and fun and positive attitudes. I love that. But it's some of their uniqueness I noticed this year and I am grateful that I have such a good relationship with my in-laws.










A few photos from the Christmas Party.....My darling BIL Trev, and my SIL, Bonnie. Then a picture of 4 grandsons hovered around something fun. If you look close you can see the very top of Chani's baby girl Claire on the left. And cute Darren with his Christmas Break facial hair.
We did the Lotz Family Christmas Eve party.......which is akin to walking through a fireworks factory whilst lighting a match. It's very loud, it's very intense, and oft times there are casualties. However, it's a fun show for all, and that's good too.

One night we noticed that the temple has snow clouds that were descneding on it and making the lights on the temple, adding to the etheral look while it glowed. We ran back for my camera and missed the best shots, but here's a taste. It was so cool!
Christmas morning......we got going quite late and it sounded like that was a common theme with a lot of families this year. It was nice albeit quiet. A little too quiet for me. Darren's Dad got an iPod this year and Oliver got a few kitten treats from Aunt Catherine. What a lucky kitty.











It's almost 2010....Resolution Time. Maybe I should resolve to be a better blogger? :o) I'll make the list and get back to you.

My Favorite Treat(s) This December

Mmmmmmmm.....can you tell what it is?*I have always liked pomegranates, but this year they are particularly yummy. It's been my one vice........a fruit as a vice, you are thinking. Yep. They are $3.00 a piece! Unless you get a smaller, withered looking one, which are in abundance in Burley. Then they are only $2.50 a piece. So good, I have a hard time sharing. :o)

*I haven't had much hot chocolate in the last few years, just because it's usually just too sweet anymore. I like the flavors that Stephen's offers but it's much too rich for me. However, my naughty friend, Leslie, in Declo, shared this little gem. It's SO GOOD! If I manage to find it, I might have to have a little this winter.

....and then the Christmas music started to play.......

We spent Thanksgiving in Idaho Falls with my family. For some reason, this year has flown by. It's December!?!?!? How did that happen?

I wish I had pictures of our Thanksgiving experience this year, but I didn't take one. Isn't that bad? Regardless, I had much to be thankful for and this time, you will have to r-e-a-d my post.

1st--Cooking For My Family

I had about 4 different orders for 'favorite things' to be had on Thanksgiving. I love that I have something to offer on the table when dinner begins. I am glad I like to cook. Luckily I am married to a man who makes it easy and likes most anything.

2nd--Visiting Another Ward

I attended Sacrament Meeting at a friend's ward the Sunday before Thanksgiving. Although I only knew a few people, I was pleasantly surprised when the choir number was Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing. My favorite hymn or in the top 3.

3rd--The Perfect Bite

Turkey, with mashed potatoes, and a little gravy........yum! I'm not a pumpkin pie fan, at all, but I love anything else pumpkin. What's wrong with me?

4th--The tree.....THE Tree

Darren and I braved Black Friday in an attempt to replace our Charlie Brown tree that died last year after 10 good years. It wasn't looking hopeful. Then we found one. I have been waiting for that 'feeling' of Christmas along with the joys of the holidays. I worried that without a tree, it wouldn't feel the same. Once we got it up and decorated and then lit on Monday (the Monday after Thanksgiving for FHE, a Lotz family tradition).....I sighed. Once the tree was lit and Darren put on our Il Divo Christmas CD (this is 5th) I breathed a sigh of relief. Christmas filled our home.