The Complexities of Father's Day.....

Somehow this year, I managed to forget that Father's Day was the very next Sunday after my birthday. I'm not sure where my brain is lately, but it dawned on me yesterday that I haven't sent anything. To my fathers, heap big apologies.
I realize that today, many people don't have just one father. Or maybe they just don't have one "dad". I don't know. Children's lives are filled with a "real" dad, a step-dad (at least one), a father-in-law, and then sometimes, if they are lucky.....a father figure who chooses to be a strengthening part of their lives.
I've always felt that the role of "Dad" in my life, came to me in parts. And I guess I know the ideal and yet if all of those parts love me, I'm eternally grateful for that. And they do.
I have a friend who has a profound relationship with her dad. Whenever we would hang out together, or today when I read her blogs, I feel a sense of longing for her experience. I am also grateful for those who chose to be part of my world because they wanted to be. And that is plenty and to spare.
One of the many things I love about my father-in-law is inability to judge others along with his ability to take anyone in stride. He's steady. He's gentle. He's available. I have yet to hear him tear down another human being, in person or in conversation. He seems to find the best in people or waits until it appears. I am sure he did this with me. This is not to say we haven't had to work through some things or that at times we've had to find our own place together, but there have been many times I have been more than unfair. I love you, Dad. Thank you for the gift of you. My parents surprised me with an iTouch this year for my birthday. It isn't something I had really ever considered. My Dad picked it out, after some guidance from my mother (who is so good at knowing what I might like). My Dad loves Glenn Beck. I love to make fun of him for loving Glenn Beck. I love to make kissing sounds when Glenn is on, ask my Dad how he envisions his wedding day with Glenn, tease him that I accidentally deleted the recording of Glenn's show while he was at work, and on and on. For Father's Day this year, my brother and I went in on a Glenn Beck shirt for him. Not much tickles him, but this did.
As I thought about a man that would willing adopt a child that isn't his, and whom he is barely getting to know, I am grateful for him more each year. I have to sometimes remember a day when life felt more unsettling and worrisome. It feels constant now, especially pertaining to him. I've never seen him upset, he never raises his voice, he always has an arm to put around me, and even amidst some serious health trials, manages to maintain a patient attitude and a humorous outlook on life. I love you, Dad. And so does Glenn. :) I can't acknowledge tomorrow without a post for my uncle. My mother's sister's husband, mind you. Uncle by marriage and being the one consistent priesthood holder in my life. My uncle Bill has been a part of my life from the beginning, but he's been a constant part of all those rites of passage in church life. He baptised me, he was with me my first time through the temple, he was there was I was married and was ready to be a witness should my dad's health prevent him from being at the temple. Throughout my life, the constant was Grandpa Snow and Bill. Grandpa Snow passed away a few years ago and I felt a part of my history go with him.
I love my uncle Bill. I am so grateful for his influence and strength in my young life. Today, I am a better person because of the person he was for me. I love you Bill.

Plenty of Time for Thinking

Darren is on a week-long "boys" training for work in Sun Valley this week, so I am a temporary widow or single again. Not sure. I always look forward to this week at the beginning of the summer. Although it is work, and they are in session most of the day, it's a chance to do a little guy bonding without wives in the way. The Church is very inclusive with wives and families, as they often tell us they don't just hire the men, they hire the wives as well. Some days, it really feels like another calling, but my husband most every day, loves to go to work. What a blessing to me to know he is happy in his chosen profession.

While Darren is gone I get a chance to really miss him. I get a lot of chores done that I have wanted to do. I also get a lot, a lot of thinking time. We've been married for over 11 years now and I am so grateful to be in a place in our relationship that we can truly be who we are, and truly "see" each other. It's nice to know another person so well, that often these days we are seconds behind each other in saying or feeling or doing the exact same thing. I appreciate anew someone who can handle themselves on their own, and yet, when we are together we make a terrific team.

Our lives are all about families. In the end, it's thing we care about and worry about most. Hopefully we feel that at the beginning too. And in the middle when everything seems to be going right and there isn't much "new" to expect. I like the middle. I like appreciating all Darren is and does, anew. We are born into our families of origin, and then we marry and are creators of our own families, and on and on. I realized that I am one person away from being alone in my family of creation. That truly increased my gratitude for this person I've chosen to be with for so long. I love you, Darren. To the size of Oliver and to the amount of driving we do, to the power of infinity.

This is us at Seminary graduation....obviously just before we were finished for the night. My poor hair was behaving like a 2 year old and I was a tired girl. But it was a very fun night. I love Seminary graduation.

Yes, another grass update.....sorry. The first mowing of our grass of the season. It has only been a year that this yard has been finished. Doesn't it look great?? Compare the before and after pictures. Seriously.....I can't believe I thought it would be so easy to put a yard in. We are now professionals. Here Darren is pictured with our mammoth tomatoes, but you can see there isn't a spot of grass anywhere outside the garden. I was careful to try and capture the best parts of our yard, not the frightening ones.

And this is our yard today.....I LOVE seeing green!Thank you, spring, for ever coming......everDarren and I were outside sitting on our Adirondack chairs enjoying the evening when he looked in this box my brother made for me and told me there was a new cat inside. Mind you, the few cats we get at our house, are so unbelievably wild they would not hang out to have Darren poking his head inside the box. I told him I saw all of them scatter when we came outside, but he swore up and down there was someone in there. As he started to gently put his hand in there, I nearly had a heart attack! "Darren, are you nuts??? You could get rabies, or cat leukemia, or infection, or your hand entirely chewed off....." so he ran to get the flashlight. As we very cautiously shine the light in, we see fur. Black fur with a spot of orange fur. Then we see movement. Then we see 2, no 3, no 5 legs?!?! What?!?!! We had 4 little kittens.....brand new, little kittens inside sleeping. I guess the 2 moms brought their kittens to our house to be safer. So CUTE!