So, we get home from a few days in Idaho Falls. While we are there, we are blessed to enjoy about 5 hours of sunlight. Total. Grrrrrr.
While we are there, my sister and I gave my mother a weeded and newly planted corner flower bed, for Mother's Day. Yep, 2 weeks ago. We have been waiting for it to stop raining and SNOWING to get going on this project. Not happening yet. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
My brother Jake makes it home from Oklahoma after being gone for 5 months at boot camp and specialized training. He comes home with an eye infection and without glasses to wear plus the weather is yucky, so no motorcycling for the Sargent family. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Darren and I make it home to our house, just in time to miss protecting our newly planted veggie garden, from frost. So all our pepper plants AND tomato plants are dead. Frozen. Dead. It's the end of May, for Pete's sake. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
It's official....I've become a Mother Nature/weather Grouch.

Mother's Day....and the longest post, ever.

I was reading a few days ago and the author, talking about her concerns in the world we live in, said, "It takes a village to raise a child, and most girls don't have a village." I pondered that and applied it to my own life. Who is in my village? On this Mother's Day, I want to thank those who have been my "village."
My mom, I'm sure, had serious questions about all things parental the day I became a teenager. Worry, stress, worry, hope, stress, arguing, hugging and everything that goes with that seems to go up on the negative side of the scale. Looking back, if you do it with any kind of responsibility and compassion, you realize that most everyone in your life, is doing the best they can. Or at least trying to. Even Mom. And maybe you really are "unreasonable" sometimes and a "pain in the rear" to parent some days. As we grow older, the gift of being older is wisdom, but the wisdom comes as we do our looking back with new eyes. With a new heart. As we apply all things sacred and hard and rewarding about being a mother. We feel grateful for Mom in all her colors and realize it is part of the tapestry of who she is. I told my mom, in jest of course, that all my siblings were just copying me. I'm the one who made her a mother (as I am the oldest). Although I was kidding, there is some truth to that. We've known each other the longest.....and that's a lot of "looking back" time.
I have a friend that I have now known for 20 years. She was about my age now when we first met. It has been quite awhile since we've visited. The last couple of years we have lived closer and been able to see each other a little more frequently. Often, as I look at this relationship especially, we don't realize the impact another life can have on our own, until it's gone. Part of that is the nature of staying in the moment, and part of that is being less aware or grateful in those moments. My friend was my first experience of safety and love outside my family circle. As I do a little looking back, I am amazed at those who make you part of their brood, even when you aren't theirs. I have always believed that family is what you make it, the rest is paperwork. A relationship, with the foundation primarily built of materials one would get at an ethics meeting, can't convey the depth of one human nurturing another. I've watched her get a Masters and then a Doctorate, have 4 children, be a fantastic mother to those children, be a wife who truly loves her husband, and a myriad of other things. I have come to love her solid foundation of self, and yet be open completely to another person's truth. She reminds me often that I should be grateful for my hair and my ultra white skin (yes, I don't know why either) and I covet her ability to hold her own in any crowd, see a different person in me than I see, cry with me when I tell her a tender story, and have us both laughing in another moment. I have been a collector of mothers....and she's a jewel in that collection.
My aunt Catherine is one of those in my village that I now believe would have kidnapped me, dyed my corn silk baby hair black, and kept me for herself, if not for the unfailing love she has for my mother. I look back through baby pictures and there are A LOT of Cath holding me, and I know she really enjoyed me. I see a lot of myself in my aunt. In both my aunts, but particularly Cath. We both deal with bad headaches sometimes. Hers are migraines. We both have the same 2 teeth baby teeth that don't have permanent teeth below. We both have a unique sense of humor and find funny things in all kinds of strange places. We both love water (as do many in my family) and animals, and rooting for the underdog. We both hit rage if we see anyone being unkind to animals, babies, or old people. If we see a man in a western movie get shot, we worry about the horse that tumbled not the bleeding guy in the show. Is that bad? Thank you for being a part of my village. I love you.
When I was about 16 or so, my cousin, who is 3 years younger than my mother, moved back to IF. It was a time of growth for many in my family. My Dad was battling Chrones disease on and off for years and the couple of years before her move, it was scary bad. I honestly thought we would lose him. I found myself on this ledge-like feeling in my life. I felt overwhelmed and tired. So tired. I remember how very gently and kind of sneaky, she helped coach me back. As I look back on that time, I often am fascinated by who would think to notice me and who would know I needed some support. People who don't "have to" love you, but choose to. I do not believe in accidents, so I know I was born into the family I was for many reasons.....but I also know many were put on my path as one would toss flowers along your way, simply because something greater than you, knew you needed that gift. Thank you for being such a pretty pink flower on my path.
I have 2 nieces (actually 1st cousins once removed, but who wants to say that each time??? "Niece" is easier) who are 15 and almost 11. Although not mother figures, they are definitely an intimate and deep stronghold of my village. I've been granted many blessings in the lives of these 2 nieces. Namely, seeing one come into this world, and getting to be part of their lives from the very beginning. They are very different from each other, and so it has made me learn double what I would've otherwise. They are beautiful inside and out. They are grounded in who they are and positive energy wherever they go. They are funny, oh so funny, and came into my life when I was old enough to appreciate what it was like to have access to an infant whenever I wanted it. I wish I would have appreciated that more. I now look at them and they are young women, not really even children anymore. I think we really expect people to stay the same. I realized that would be sad. We aren't meant to slug around this world, we are meant to grow. So, we have to let-go and enjoy babies becoming women, people making changes in their own lives that might affect our relationship with them. I am humbled by the mothers they will be. By the young women they are becoming.
When I was began dating I knew whomever I would marry I would also be marrying his family. I watched family after family be torn apart and never repaired because they couldn't make it work with the "in-laws." I guess there wouldn't be so many jokes about it if there wasn't some major truth to it. I knew I needed to have a different experience. I really, really wanted to love my in-laws. I met Darren's dad first, as he was the Bishop of my new ward in Utah. I noticed 2 things.....how he always looked you in the eye, and how genuine he seemed. When I finally met Darren, I knew his parents and his brother well. Not long after we were married, his mom and I were having a conversation about our families and we noticed a similar name. After a little research we found out where we were related. So really, we were family already. :o) Although we have had to work through our share of in-law struggles, I have great love and respect for Darren's family. I am grateful his Mom has been part of my village. I am a better cook because of her. She's so fun to tease because she has an absolutely contagious laugh. His mom would sell you on Ebay to get to your baby because of her great gift to nurture. Although our roles with her are different than other relationships in her world as we don't need her to take us to Dr appointments, or clean our house, or make our dinner, or tend our kids.......we love and appreciate the authentic and genuine person she is. One who is an important part of our lives. Not for what she can do for us, but for the beautiful threads she brings to our tapestry.

Happy Birthday, Cecile

I am very behind in my blogging efforts.......to catch up, a birthday blog.
Cecile is one of my oldest and dearest friends. I think it's safe to assume that she won't murder me for posting mostly camping pictures, but when we did anything else, neither of us remembered a camera. I think the bravest test of friendship is looking horrible in pictures and loving every minute of it because of who is in that picture with you.
I'm pretty sure she had a secret staff of salon elves somewhere in her tent, because I actually LOOK like I'm camping. This one is the summer before I left for Washington, DC. It was tradition for us to get a picture together by the cabins before we left. Although the quality of this picture is horrible, thanks to my old 110 film, the message in it is clear. I was at home here. Both in the mountains and with Cecile's arm around me. For someone so sweet, with such a love of the gospel and a true and deep relationship with her Savior, all of which changed my life......she's also one of the most hilarious people I've ever met. This photo was taken in the same exact place, the summer after I returned from DC. I was only home for 3 or so months before moving again to Bountiful. I think Cecile was the camp director and I her camp assitant, whatever that means. I think it's a calling created by her to get me up to Darby to torture me while there. Every. single. year. of camp, fell on the week of my birthday. Cecile came up with new ways to celebrate. One year, she put little treats all over my sleeping bag, and totally unbeknownst to me....pine cones IN my sleeping bag. So you get all warm by the fire, run to get into bed, to find you aren't alone. I believe I had helpers duct taping her in the cabin. This would be the only evidence that she was camping.....the monster fire she had going, and the famous, Brady Bunch 70's Jacket. It isn't camaflouge.....not even close, in case you are wondering. I am smiling way too big in this but of course, Cecile made a comment here, which made laugh, right when Darren took the picture, while she sits there looking angelic. Completely misleading. Some times we live our lives by working, teaching, cooking, cleaning, moving, etc....and many times we look back and think " where did the time go" quickly followed by "where have I made a difference." Or sometimes we look at our lives today and realize where we are on our journey and feel profoundly grateful for the blessings that surround us and the people that love us and the trials we've triumphed. But sometimes in looking at today, we forget the people that picked us up when we were down, dusted us off, looked us in the eye, voiced their love, and walked awhile with us. It's important to let them know, and to say thank you. So, Cecile....thank you.