The Many Faces of Motherhood

As a new mother, I am seeing those mothers around me in a fresher light. A light that, if you are watching, reflects the deepest parts of a mother's soul. I am familiar with the light of Longing, as I spent 11 years watching it reflect in me, my most personal and difficult heartaches. I won't ever forget what it felt like to be part of that club. Although I've graduated from that now, I do not feel any more worthy or deserving than my sisters who are still longing. In fact, I probably pray harder for them now than I ever did.
I have a friend who lost her little girl a few weeks ago in a drowning accident in the Snake River. I am seeing, firsthand, the light of Loss for a mother.......and if I thought Longing was difficult, Loss has a whole new dimension to it. At the viewing, that I could NOT miss, even though we weren't taking M out anywhere, I watched this mother. Since then, I have pondered on her daily. How would I get up in the morning if M was taken from me? Would I have the strength to see the face of Deity in this tragedy? Would I be such an example to others as I allowed them to love me, to weep with me, to share in this with me? Although, I thought it impossible, I have a new level of appreciation for my little M. For the late nights and early mornings. For the poopie diapers and throw up in my hair. For the crying, my chubby-post-baby body still, for the price of diapers, for the lack of me time, for my messy house now.......because it means She is here. Safe. With Me. Thank you Krissy.

Mayberry......in Idaho

Today was quite a beautiful day....considering it's rained and been windy for the longest time. I forgot that it's June and not February until this morning.I walked over to the Seminary with baby girl strapped to my chest in a baby Bjorn. We picked up Daddy and then walked down to the Post Office. We chatted with Judy for a bit about baby girl, her new little granddaughter, the weather, etc. We got our mail, started walking back. We waved at a few people and friends we know driving by. We noticed the comings and goings of the town hub, the convenience store. We spotted a teenage kitten playing in the grass and then hiding when he saw us coming. I left D at the Seminary, and continued home, through the park.....and I felt it. The sadness of leaving a place that has become home, and welcomed me (for the most part) into it, and then joy that I feel sad. This little town will hold a special place in my heart.
We've grown here, we've made family out of friends here, we bought our first home here.....I became a mother here.....

So We Are.....?

MOVING! For those of you who don't know, Darren received a transfer the day before we were headed home from having Makenna. When it rains, it pours....and pours....and pours. Holy cow. We are being transferred to the Idaho East Area, in Idaho Falls. Actually, Darren will be teaching in Shelley but the area covers Shelley, Idaho Falls, and Rigby.

It's been 17 years since I lived in the town I grew up in....so.....pray for us. :o)

She's A Blessing....

On the 1st, we gathered at our ward, with our friends and family to bless little Makenna. Earlier in the day, we decided to take her over to Twin Falls to see Shoshone Falls before we move this summer. They really are spectacular this time of year. On Sunday, after her Daddy gave her the sweetest blessing, we met at our dear friends' house for some food and great conversation. Her are a few pictures from the big day. It was SO fun and I've never been so tired. Thanks everyone for your help. Thanks Makenna for giving us another reason to celebrate the miracle that you are.......we do love you so.
Our happy little family.....

The group of friends and family who came to support us. We are so blessed!

A picture of 3 generations of women on my mom's side.......we didn't know if this day would come.
A moment with Mommy....O how I love this little girl......

The Love of My Life

So, I've had this chip on my shoulder about people who have a baby and then can't blog anymore because they are so busy. I'm thinking, "yeah, but you're home most of the time.....you MUST blog!" I've repented. Blogging scoots down to about 10,000th on the list of Must Do's these days. I get it. I repent.
However, the cause for my blogging negligence is SOOOOO worth it. It's about 9 pounds or so, barfs on me, poops on me, wets on me, pulls my hair out, deprives me of sleep, and sometimes bawls at random when she doesn't like what we are having for dinner........and it's BLISS. Yep, my new little Makenna Monster is to blame, and I am loving it! I am seriously concerned about giving her brain damage because of all the kissing and mauling I've done to her.
A few updates for her fans.....

She's Here!!!!!!!!!

Arrival: March 10th, 2011 4:43 p.m.
Weight: 7 1/2 pounds
Length: 20 1/2 inches

It has been a little busy around here lately, but I wanted to post some photos for everyone to see. We are all doing well, albeit a little sleep deprived. Delivery was surprisingly smooth as I was induced at 9 am and had her at 4:43 pm.....and only pushed for about an hour. You should have seen our cute Dr become a cheerleader!

I do not know what I would have done without the constant support and encouragement of my sweet husband. We've never been as emotional as we were during that labor process and then when she was here. The Spirit was palpable as this little miracle came into our world. From start to finish, we have seen the hand of God in her, unlike anything I've ever seen. She is proof that miracles are all around us, as her coming was against every logical odd.

Having our family and friends surround us and come to see her has meant the world. Her arrival has been anticipated by many, but especially by her parents. We are humbled every minute as we watch and love this beautiful gift.

F-O-R-E-V-E-R

Well, it took us FOREVER to get pregnant and now I am wondering if I will be pregnant.....FOREVER. What if she decides she's a baby elephant and wants to stay put for the next year and a half???? Um, I have cabbage patch kid feet, can't wear my wedding ring, haven't seen my knees for months, LIVE in the bathroom, waddle like a giant duck, eat too much get raging heartburn, too little and get morning sickness, and never thought I would be the owner of......cankles. *sigh* It's March, my darling girl......time to meet the world.
A few photos to be a little more updated.

I have always been blessed with the best of friends.....always. And it started when I lived in Idaho Falls. Friends like I've been blessed with are in a whole different league......they are family. My family......my dearest friends. This baby girl is lucky to have so many people who love her already.

Random January

Ahhhhh, week 34........I'm not sure I have any room left. I'm pretty sure I am going to tip over frontwards. But......I am loving knowing all is well and soon we will have her here!
Baby Shower in Declo....
I have the neatest friends. I've always been blessed with really good friends. It's a theme that has continued in Declo. This is the shower (we only got a few pictures at the end) that they threw me on the 29th. It was SO fun to visit and share some time with the women in my ward and community that I have grown to love so much. Thanks Angie, Leslie, Terina, and Sandy. You know I love you guys! Below: Mavis, Terina, Sandy, Evelyn, Leslie, and Laura


A quick photo before we went to get something to eat. I was a hungry monster!
Below: Me, little Lily, Angie, Terina, Sandy, and Tiff. Thanks you guys! It was SO fun!

So, I got a 9mm Ruger for Christmas. I love it. It's awesome. But I think Darren is more infatuated with it than I am. Every once in awhile he'll bring it out of the office and say, "Do want to hold your gun???" Who is he?? It's hilarious. I burst into laughter, still! So, he came home from work the other day, went in the office, and came out giving me this pose......
My very own 007 Agent.....I'm such a lucky girl!
While in Idaho Falls over Christmas, Darren took me over to the Licensing Building to apply for a Concealed Weapons License. This way, I can carry it on me when we hike or camp and I can carry it with me in the car when I travel. Growing up with artillery and knowing how to use it, I am very comfortable with this gun, so my feelings of safety and my ability to protect myself and my family has increased. However, seeing a 8 month pregnant woman in there applying and getting this license, brought a lot of stares from the men that were there. It was SO funny!

Christmas 2010

This Christmas was a little different this year. With the changes in just our little family, it felt different this year. I have a different bond with Mary than I did before. I appreciate her willingness to take upon herself, alone in many ways, the responsibility entrusted her with the grace she did. In a time where a young, unmarried woman is found expecting a child, she could have easily been stoned to death. Hiding a baby coming is impossible.
Traveling and delivery under such uncomfortable circumstances with very little physical or emotional support or rejoicing from loved ones must have made it more difficult.
As I have been the recipient of a very sensitive and sweet husband, I felt a different love and respect for Joseph. A calling from Deity, in different ways, equally difficult. To trust and support a woman that you love and want to have a family with, but that would have to wait. To carry the responsibility of protection, care, and safety for your wife and her, not yours, unborn child who would be the Savior of all mankind. Whenever I have cared for other people's children, there is an element of enormous trust that comes into play. There is always a bit of a feeling of inadequacy knowing you aren't doing things like "mom" would. I can't imagine measuring up to my step son's Father.
Even with the help and watchful eyes of the Heavens......the responsibility would be more joyous than you'd ever know and more weighty than you'd ever realized. The Holy Family, indeed.
On a more secular side........it was a Christmas of firsts for us. The first time I have been at my parents for Christmas and one of my siblings was gone. We were able to Skype with Jacob from Iraq and I've never been more grateful for cool technology. Just to see him and hear him made me feel enormous relief. Although they have stolen some of his hair, he looked great.


It was also the first Christmas I have been pregnant.......and that adds just another level of reverence for the holiday and the reason we celebrate it.
It was the Christmas I got my first gun! Darren and my parents went in together and got me a Ruger 9 mm handgun. The very one I've wanted for awhile. Darren took me in to get my Concealed Weapons license, and you should have seen the looks we got as a 7 month pregnant lady applied for it. It was hilarious!
I was VERY surprised! Thanks, honey....

This was also my first year to try making a blanket. The shocking part, is I did it all by myself, and it turned out perfectly! I made it for my aunt, who has always coveted the one I have. It has 2 sides, one which has puppy paws on it. She has raised Pomeranian pups for most of her adult life, and loves them. This last year, she had to put her last one down and so I had embroidered the names of her dogs in each of the corners of the quilt. It was so fun to give it to her. So fun it turned out! I think she is amazed and my skills in this picture......

My parents got Darren a sports coat for Christmas, and this is his surfing-GQ-Ifeelridiculousposing pose. It looks great on him and even better with a tie ensemble instead of jammies. :o) Looking up at him, I look like Shamu in these pictures, but at least it's for a good cause.

We hope (late) that each of you had a merry Christmas. I am excited for the possibilities that a new year brings to us. 2011 is looking promising already!

The Only Time in Your Life You Look Darling in 2D

We were able to go back to the hospital to do a 3D ultrasound of our little munchkin. Before they just had photos for us.


This time they had a couple of videos and then photos taken in 3D so you can get a better idea of how she looks. However, if she moves at all while the photo is processing, it distorts the image. Naturally, she moved in every one of them. :o) We did get a couple that were close, though.

This one showed her nose really well.....and then distorted everything else.

This one wasn't bad for her nose, lips, and profile.....

This one kinda distorted her nose, but that's okay. This one, I'm pretty sure she did for her Aunt Leslie.....she seems to be furrowing her brows at all this attention and picture taking during nap time. I NEVER furrow my brows, so I have no idea where she got this. :o)

Even with all this evidence.....I still can't believe she is coming. We have 2 months left to get ready.....but I wonder if you can ever be ready. As these last couple of months draw to a close, the reality of meeting a whole new person seems so surreal. It also feels like it's just she and I now, as we prepare to work together to get her here safely. I think my body is getting ready to be done, but I will miss those little movements throughout the day and night that only we share. You can't get any closer to team work than when you share a body. I will miss this.

The men I love, December, and Little Girl

I really love my Dr.......luckily he is also an old and a dear friend, so that makes it VERY easy. However, as D-day comes closer my feelings have deepened as the reality is setting in. We REALLY have a baby coming, and I want the very best person for the job on the "catching" part of this experience. Not only is Kay a great Dr, but he's a great man. He's married to a wonderful woman, he honors the Priesthood he bears, he knows the value of family, and I have not had one ounce of worry since we asked him to deliver our little girl. That every girl could be so lucky.
I've received much hate mail :o) because of lack of bump updates.....so here you go!


This one is week 29--Darren is finally in a bump picture. I have had so many people tell me that "I;m just not carrying that big." When I went in for my check up on Monday, the nurse asked why I was there. Um, seriously?? Now granted, I was wearing a jacket but I nearly fell off my chair laughing. The evidence seems pretty compelling.
In this photo, we are just back from doing the dreaded glucose test, the week of Christmas, and getting our 3D ultrasound......busy baby week. She moves ALL the time! It's amazing to look down and see my shirt moving all over the place. I'm starting to believe there really is a person in there. :o)
I return home from delivering presents in Utah and my sweet husband surprised me with yet another project, DONE! He has been a lifesaver through this and through Christmas. I am so thankful for such a sensitive spouse who is so willing and attentive to help and so cheerful about doing it.....he's amazing, truly.

Shroggy.....

One foggy Christmas Eve is about right.....except for the Christmas Eve part. But outside tonight at our house, it looks very much like this. We saw one star. One. It's quite the cool atmosphere out there if we hadn't just had Halloween.It's been the week of "um, seriously" at our house. After Thanksgiving, I was so looking forward to coming back home, ready to begin preparations for Christmas. You have to remember that for us, we lose a good week or so as we travel for this holiday, so things have to be ready, wrapped, sent, stamped, or whatever BEFORE we get on our merry way. This year we will be in IF.

The evening before I was headed home from some Dr appointments last week, I just kept having this chronic aching in my legs. I know we are entering month 7 of this pregnancy, but this frequent made me feel like a slug. I mean, I was a runner before this baby......

The next morning I felt like I had been hit by a Mack truck. My mother, who is wise and about to be a grandma again, drags me to the Dr before I head home. One hour and 1 prescription later, I'm told to watch for a fever, because "we don't want this turning into influenza or pneumonia." Um, seriously?

I've wasted plenty of time with morning sickness, so we are NOT having either of those. By the time I get home, I walk in, love on my kitties, and hit my bed. Thank goodness for my mother who dragged me to the Dr amidst major eye rolling. I've not been this sick, for a long long time.

Gotta love what you bring home from the "relatives" house over Thanksgiving. It was worth seeing our nieces and nephews though and to spend the time with Darren's brother. What a fun little family they are.

On the upside (for me) Darren got "IT" too, so he called in sick to work this week for the first time in the 7 years we have been here. This man NEVER takes a sick day. Ever. Does this tell you how hard we were hit? Hopefully we have our turn out of the way just in time for the holiday. Wash your hands, cough into your arm, and don't sneeze on me! :o)

The Balance....of Thanksgiving and You've Got To Be Kidding!

*We got our first, major snow storm here in Declo this week. Well, first and second and third.....combined with wind from somewhere very unholy, I'm pretty sure. It has been SO cold, but it's also been so pretty! I am a fall girl, not a winter girl. My mother (and her inner Indian) would have winter 365 days a year if she could. How we are related, I'm not sure. I'm still checking into the accuracy of hospital records from the 70's. :o) But this year, it's been delightful. You just can't have Thanksgiving and Christmas without major snow. The balance?? Why, o why, do we have to defy death and DRIVE in it??? Oh, that's right. We live in Idaho, and we live in Declo......

*My sweet husbnd is VERY good about keeping things shoveled and cleaned up when we have a snowfall, let alone the pour down that we got this week. He came right home from work and shoveled our driveway and then into the street so we could get the car out of the garage. (Remember, Declo doesn't have snow service that cleans the streets for you). We also feed this little family of kitties, so I tried to scoop a little path on the back patio where they could get to their food. It was very heavy snow, so I decided not to do too much. After we both come in, it's not 10 minutes later that there is a plow on our street, attempting to clear a path for our vehicles and in the process, piling it right in front of our driveway! Three feet of packed snow......um, duh! So little Darren goes back out there, to dig us out again. Ya gotta be kidding me. I too, look into the back yard and see my path, my lovely path, is now completely covered because the wind keeps drifting the snow. Sigh. Time to get the kitties fitted for snow boots I guess. :o)

*I have the hardest time finding boots. It's amazing. Either snow or dress for winter, it's a drama made for T.V. I finally find some but the only store close to us is in Utah. I think, "great", we are headed down there anyway, I'll have Darren's mom run over and grab them for me. After finally getting her, and after she got over there and they found my order, I have boots! Well, I will have them once we get to Utah. Then this morning, I open our mail, and what do you know??? A 20% coupon for that very store, for their boot line! You've got to be kidding me. Poor girl at the boot store....she gets to hear from me again this week. You guys really ought to send her a sympathy card. :o)

*Being pregnant with Muhammad Ali has it's bonuses. When our little girl is in a "work out" mode, she can wake me up she's so active. However, she's a faker.....in faking shyness. How do they know how to do that so little?? The minute someone's hand is on my belly, she quits. Dead quick about it too! I think everyone thinks that I am a big, fat liar because she will NOT kick on cue. It's really quite comical, except for those who really want to feel her and she won't let them. A surprise attack is the only way. I'm going to have to have peoples' hands glued to my belly for a 24 hour period in order to feel less Pinocchio-like. However, the fun part is to have such an active baby at this point. It's a feeling of relief to feel her moving about in there. It's also a delight to look down and see my shirt moving! Yeah, again....no one believes me with that one either.

Gotta Do It

It's the season, so you will have to indulge me doing a Thankful List:

#1--My Parents
Who have been monumentally supportive of me/us while I have been pregnant. They have helped us haul furniture back and forth a gazillion times, taken me shopping for baby stuff to get a few things ready, won't let me lift anything over the weight of a kitten, drive myself anywhere, my mother has rubbed my achy feet and my dad my back without me saying a word. Amidst all of this, have been very excited and love to watch me in this process. I'm a grateful girl.

#1--My Husband (it's a tie)
Who has been going to work, and in school working on a Master's, and taking care of the yard alone, and cleaning after our cats, and making me food along with keeping me on an eating schedule, who gets up with me when I'm throwing up and tucks me in when it's bed time, who drives me everywhere as he doesn't like me traveling alone either, who lets me bring another kitten home so I can "babysit" when he knows I just need some kitten time. Who never complains when I make scrambled eggs AGAIN, and who willingly and cheerfully eats leftovers more than anyone I know. The husband who was a huge help in getting our nursery organized and cleaned out so we actually have somewhere to put our little one when she comes and during all this gets cold and manages to still keep going. Cheerfully, even. What a darlin'.

#2--My Brother Jake
.....who was deployed this week for Iraq. Who has NEVER been away from home for longer than a couple of nights at a time until he joined the Reserves. Ah, Jacob.......our family isn't complete without you. I love you, brother.

#3--Unexpected Miracles
Yeah.......I just can't wait to meet her.........

#4--Little Creatures
Kittens.....horses......otters......puppies.....pretty much anything that contains Life, fascinates me. I adore the creatures of the world....and if it isn't adoration, it's fascination for sure.

#5--The Season of Christmas
The new energy in stores......mint and orange flavored Kit Kats......the MUSIC.....the movies......the lights.....the preparation. I ADORE Christmas. This Christmas, I am SO SO SO grateful I don't have to ride anywhere on a donkey. Oh my!

Go Shutterfly!

So....Shutterfly is giving away free, 50 of them, Christmas cards if you blog about them and this promotion. I've only used Shutterfly for a few photo options, as they are new to me, but I am anxious to try this Christmas card promotion and see how we like it. My sister-in-law has used their services multiple times and always seems very happy with what they do.
I was looking around their website and since I live far, far away from civilization, I love how many options are available not only for Christmas car ideas, but for calendars, stationary, etc.....almost anything you can personalize you can do. What fun ideas I am having for Christmas!
Click http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-cards to see options on Christmas card ideas! One thing I love is that they offer Christmas cards with a religious theme, if you want it. I am SO tired of seeing nothing about Christmas, and only about "holidays."
They have calendars, aprons, shirts, puzzles, life size posters, stickers, gift certificates, ornaments, keepsake boxes, and just about anything else you can imagine. I always thought making ties with little photographs on it was a little kitschy and kinda dumb, but there are some fun variations of items that we all use that can be personalized in a fun way. I LOVE technology when used like this. So fun! Be sure and make sure those Christmas cards make it to the Lotz family here in Idaho. Ahem. :o)

Video From Her Ultrasound

It's really hard to tell what is what in an ultrasound video, but this is one Darren took and isn't too bad. At first you are looking at her from the top of the head, and then the tech shifts to see her from the side, and then back to the top of the head again. You can see her little heart beating and at one point, her spinal cord. I thought that was so neat! At the beginning, you get a really great shot of her feet and leg.

Catching Up from Being a Zombie

Since I am getting back into being a human person in the Land of the Living, we have a few things to catch up on. Somehow, this pregnancy, has not allowed me to be on the computer (at all in the beginning) or do too much driving, so I am playing catch up! Since I was a whiner in my last post, which isn't common for me, I am committed to the balance of joy. Which is where I'd rather land anyway, sick and all. :o) So, here are a few pictures of our little "bumpette" and the day we went to the ultrasound. This is a photo outside of the hospital where we are planning on delivering. My cousin Leslie was a sweetheart to come (driving 3 hours to be there) with us to our ultrasound. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have had the faith that this blessing would ever be ours, without Leslie's constant faith and continually reminding me that I would be a mother. One of those times that I had to lean on the faith of another.......literally. With our history in this department, it was difficult for Darren and I to trust that this was for real, and this baby was for sure, and everything was okay. We'd work on it continually but there is that human side that prepares itself and you for the "just in case" scenario. "Just in case" was more true to our experience, so it truly was an act of faith to trust. After the first sonogram and after the ultrasound, you could almost feel the sighs of relief across the globe from Darren and I collectively feeling like we could settle into this whole pregnancy thing. On this one, Darren seemed a little more cautious than I was, which is major role reversal for us. Probably on account that he now had to girls to worry about if everything wasn't all right. What a fun day it was to see our little one! I love living in the age of technology, for reason like this. These next two are....well, horrible of me. We always would remember to journal our baby progress with photos, in the evening. Hair brushed, no make-up, and not looking gorgeous at all. This just shows how much I love you guys that I would brave the Internet looking like a mountain troll. :o) This is about week 16.....This is about week 20ish......
My shirt, the only "kitschy" one I have bought says "Embrace the Bump" on the front. I thought it was kind of cute and my mother insisted I have one shirt that is kitschy. I conceided.

Ugggghhhhh

On days like today, I am very grateful for a husband who is so amazing and so supportive. I am pretty sure that after the last few months, I would be a welcome addition to State Hospital South without his help and support. Seriously. Although much of this phase has passed......
......there seem to be new phases right after the old ones. Like the phase I am in now. Fatigue seems to be the battle of the day. Like monster-mono fatigue. Trying to figure out something that sounds good to eat seems impossible, especially when you factor in that it has to be like 50,000 times per day. Ugghhhh. If I have to cook it.....blehhhh......start over.
I also seem to want to take my cats to the pound. If you know me, you know that my stomach turns over and the tears are right there when I see road kill. I worry that I care more about the world's animals than I do people and I carry this fear inside me that there is an animal somewhere that is being mistreated. So this is a new one. We've been kitten sitting for the last few days and it's been such fun to have a little one around that is playful, healthy, and affectionate. I am weary of dealing with health issues with my own cat or the other one that is great companionship for the first one, but not so much for humans.
At the beginning of this pregnancy, we were so excited and surprised, we really couldn't have cared less about anyone who wasn't equally excited and/or supportive. Now that we are closing in on the 6 month mark in a few weeks, to experience the contrast is difficult! Luckily, most everyone has been darling and patient......and very enthusiastic. It just takes one or two to deflate that a bit these days, and it's very frustrating. What happened to my thick skinned side??
Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday, and this year I might be content on skipping right over it and enjoying Christmas. Can you enjoy Christmas if you skip over Thanksgiving? Not sure.
Okay......I never appreciate those who use FB or their blog to whine about life. I promise to be better. Promise. The good news is............I'll keep you posted.

Her First Photo Shoot.....

Ultrasound photos aren't ever that spectacular, as far as resolution is concerned, but I still had to post these for those of you who are dying to see them and don't live near us. We'll keep this G-rated as this is a family blog, but it sure it funny how at this stage of life, how interested people are at seeing a picture of you and ALL your parts. This appointment took FOREVER to come around. My mushy brain was in full swing and I was dying to know that there really was a baby in there, and really anxious to make sure all was well, and really excited to know what we were having so we could plan! This whole pregnancy has been a huge surprise, so knowing at least one thing was important to me. It was so fun!
It's interesting to me to note too, that the minute we found out we were having a girl, it's like this baby was always a girl. That relationship solidifies so quickly the more info you get.
So here is our little girl in her first debut.....a picture of her arm, flexed I'm sure. Very buff.
And then a profile picture.....This is important as we need to be prepared to see if she has the Lotz family nose, or my buggy eyes. I have a feeling, however, that I neither of us would even care should that be the case. :o)

It's A..........GIRL!

Having only come this far in this pregnancy, there are 2 appointments that take FOREVER to come around. The first appointment with my Dr and the ultrasound appointment. Leading up to both appointments, the really optimistic part in my brain kicks in and wonders "what if I am just getting chubby and there really isn't a baby in there??" Even though all evidence is to the contrary, my nature in the baby department is preparing for the worst and evidently, the most weird and impossible. The ultrasound appointment wasn't any different......even with evidence like this..... I am realizing how much more is a matter of faith and trust, even when there is obvious proof, because my brain turns to illogical mush and tries to function when things are too good or too exciting.
When we got home from our ultrasound, this is what awaited us on my mother's front porch...
We were to pop the balloons of whatever we weren't having. Darren was so cute about it too. He grabbed a pink one and then popped the blue ones with the other hand, so for a minute, he had psyched everyone out on what we were having. My aunt and my mother are so cute about things like this. It makes the worry diminish greatly when there is so much excitement and positive energy about this process wherever we go. We finally took time to read what was on the balloon. A picture of our final balloon by our baby girl.....(as close as you can get, I guess) And then big kisses from her Daddy.....Sometimes I don't want to breathe for fear I will wake up and find I was dreaming. I adore my husband, we are having a baby finally, he loves his job, we love our little home and our community, and we have such a supportive family. My cup truly runneth over. When the Lord said that He would "pour out blessings upon your heads, so much that you would not have room enough to receive it" I now know what He means. My heart isn't big enough for the gratitude I feel. What a beautiful place to relax into.....