The Many Faces of Motherhood

As a new mother, I am seeing those mothers around me in a fresher light. A light that, if you are watching, reflects the deepest parts of a mother's soul. I am familiar with the light of Longing, as I spent 11 years watching it reflect in me, my most personal and difficult heartaches. I won't ever forget what it felt like to be part of that club. Although I've graduated from that now, I do not feel any more worthy or deserving than my sisters who are still longing. In fact, I probably pray harder for them now than I ever did.
I have a friend who lost her little girl a few weeks ago in a drowning accident in the Snake River. I am seeing, firsthand, the light of Loss for a mother.......and if I thought Longing was difficult, Loss has a whole new dimension to it. At the viewing, that I could NOT miss, even though we weren't taking M out anywhere, I watched this mother. Since then, I have pondered on her daily. How would I get up in the morning if M was taken from me? Would I have the strength to see the face of Deity in this tragedy? Would I be such an example to others as I allowed them to love me, to weep with me, to share in this with me? Although, I thought it impossible, I have a new level of appreciation for my little M. For the late nights and early mornings. For the poopie diapers and throw up in my hair. For the crying, my chubby-post-baby body still, for the price of diapers, for the lack of me time, for my messy house now.......because it means She is here. Safe. With Me. Thank you Krissy.