Now that 24/7 morning sickness has eased a bit, I feel that I am more in touch with the land of the living. Truly, I feel like a coma patient (without the luxury of the coma part) who just missed the last 3 months of life.
During that time I had the best care and support from my sweet Declo friends. I wish I had the gift of "knowing." This isn't a testimonial-type gift, like knowing the Gospel, or knowing that life continues beyond this life. I have that down pretty good. It's the knowing what to do in the now. When I hear about someone in our ward, who lost a family member or is ill, I always feel my heart ache for them, but I never ever know how to reach out or what to do. That must be why I have friends that are so good at it and just do it. I need the examples desperately. How do you know when to take dinner in, and what day to do it, and what to make??? How do you know when to make a phone call, or when a note is better, or when to wait so you aren't smothering them???
The one gift I envy of the Savior's, is the gift of knowing that He paid such a price for in Gethsemane. The gift of knowing how every moment of each of our lives would feel. I can often feel a glimpse of what others might be going through, and I stand amazed by the people around me......but knowing how to best support them, not so good.
When we were in Utah this weekend for BYU's homecoming game, we went to church at our old ward. Most everyone, by now, has heard our news about this miracle/surprise baby coming to our family. It was such a treat to see everyone, as it's not very often we are in Utah and not very often we are there to go to church. After Sacrament Meeting, I had quite a few friends who came up to hug me and congratulate us and it turned into a cry fest. These old friends who I forget have watched us and prayed for us, as long as we have been trying and praying. Some friends who have also spent much time, money, and years to have their children as well, who KNOW what it's like to be on both sides of the fence.
I have always felt that family is truly what you make it, and my friends are dear to me as my family. They have been my family. Today, I am truly grateful that I have always been blessed with such good, grounded, centered, Christ-like friends......I need them. I need their examples, as I so stand in need of improving.
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