Letters To God

As part of a challenge from a friend recently, I have pondered on the concept of if we could could write letters to God, and He could write back, what would both letters contain? As a lifelong member of earth life, my surroundings and teachers have mostly all taught the practice of kneeling, asking, waiting to receive, watching, and keeping a prayer in our hearts as we go about the living of this life.

Prayer is a letter to God, just not on paper. As I receiving inspiration, experiencing "lucky moments" that have nothing to do with luck, those who walk among us and carry with them our answer, as well as the written scriptures are all letters back from Him to us.

So, outside of that, if we could truly write a letter, and get an actual response.....what would they be?

As we are all on different paths, and differing places on those paths, I know that my thoughts and feelings during a new experience would be level 1 compared to someone who is a seasoned walker on this particular path.

For example, at the beginning phases of our struggle to get Baby Girl here, my prayers were filled with worry.

"Please don't let there be anything wrong...."

"What are we missing? What aren't we doing?"

"You can't seriously expect me to serve in nursery AND be surrounded by friends and family who are all bunny rabbits?????"

Then you'd be at one of those lovely sacrament meetings where they were blessing a baby, and inside I'd long for a day like this but never feel less than thrilled for those new parents. Just a longing to be part of the path they were on. That is until you get one of the new dad's mother or father who get up and say "how proud they are of their son.....". You sit there waiting for more, but that's it. Proud of what? Biology? Yep, then my blood pressure would rise just a bit.

My sister-in-law Miranda, posted awhile ago on her blog about the changing experiences of sacrifice for her and her family. It was spot on and brilliantly written. As I got more seasoned on this path, I found a few things interesting. My prayers began to change.

"....Help me to more fully trust this process and to trust Thee....."

".....Help me to see the blessings of this trial....."

"Hannah, Sara, Elizabeth, Rachel.....and me....pretty good company and all had miracle babies"

I grew to know, absolutely know, that this challenge had everything to do with his love for me. At the beginning, I felt forsaken, I felt I hadn't been or done enough. I felt unworthy in His eyes but had no idea what I had done or how to fix it. At the end, I felt this challenge was a way to bless me in facets I'd never even thought about or knew I needed. I felt overwhelmed with gratitude as I would see His face in the faces of the children around me. This last year of my sweet baby's life, I can honestly say I have probably 3 small instances where I wish I would have been a little more patient, otherwise, I have enjoyed every. single. moment. I have delighted in every part of her little body, her little achievements, her personality, and have been blessed to see her at times, as He sees her.

As I have come through that, it not only helped in my world as a Mommy, but has helped me to take time in my relationships with others. It has helped me see parts of others as He sees them. It has helped me to take time to be still. To nurture the soul as I take some one on one time with Him. It's helped me value life a little differently.....even the life of a small creature.

I still have much, much work left to do and I know more challenges will cross my path, but I am trying to see the details in those challenges. To see His hand in it, because I promise you, it is there.