Yep, We Are Still Alive

Every time I blog, I feel like I have to apologize to my blog like I do to my journal.  So, I'm done guilt posting/writing.  If I don't post it's because I literally can't, because I really like to.  I miss everyone I don't see often enough, which is most of you!  :)

So, news on the Lotz Family front is this little surprise person......

And as a result, there has ONLY been this for months.  Literally.  Three plus months I have gone from my bed to here.  It's been rough.

There has also been A LOT of this......and it's been a little taxing on this Mommy's spirits.  I had such plans for this summer with baby girl, and she's been cooped up with a shut in for most of it.  However, I feel so blessed to have had so much time to just nap with her, play dolls, watch movies, and read stories.  I've been trying to embrace my "Tuesdays With Morrie" side and just enjoy what is. 

Here is a picture of the mom, finally, on an evening I was upright for a little while.  

I did not expect to feel so down being pregnant again.  I've felt such gratitude that we got one and so worried we wouldn't be able to give her a sibling.  So this was such an amazing surprise after I miscarried in January.  We were shocked and delighted and shocked again when we found out in May.  
After just a couple of weeks, the excitement was overwhelmed by being so sick. Being that sick for so long can wear on the resiliency of anyone.  After almost 2 1/2 months, I started bleeding and that scared me to death.  That lasted more than 2 weeks but never progressed to miscarrying.  I have the best doctor, who I love very much, and we found out I had some Placenta Previa going on.  
We will do another ultrasound in a couple of weeks to check things, but bleeding has stopped and I think things are moving and adjusting as they should be.
Sometimes I chat with this little one and I remind it of all the worry it has put it's mother through, and that's all it gets for the rest of it's life.  
Baby girl is very excited for a new baby.  Not quite as much as she is to become a Sunbeam after Christmas and come into Mommy's "big meeting". (Primary)
With Darren and my calling, we are laughing at the idea of adding a new baby to the mix of our lives, but  we know it will all be fine or shift.  We both are grateful for the purpose it gives us and the social exposure it gives all three of us in a ward that still feels a bit new.  
I am looking at the calendar and realizing I have to plan a Primary Program (because I am at the year mark) for over 100 children, and that seems a little daunting.  I'm so thankful for such a supportive presidency, and husband.
We are always prayerful for Darren's brother and his family as their youngest, Lydia, was born with TCS http://www.tsalliance.org/index.aspx.  She went through brain surgery Friday and will have another surgery this week.  Pray for her, and for Greg and Miranda, and for their other children.  
Makenna lost her blanket while we were at BYU-I for my sister-in-law's graduation.  You have to know that this child adores her blanket.  More than anything else, it is her most valuable possession.  I spent hours looking for it, calling about it, trying to find the exact fabric.  The night we lost it and I had searched everywhere, I just bawled.  I'm walking around in the dark looking and praying while tears rolled down my face knowing I would have to face her and tell her it's gone.  And that was a piece of fabric.  What Greg and Miranda are going through I can't imagine and can only feel a microscopic sliver of part of it.  Words are inadequate, prayers are powerful but it doesn't seem like enough, and the waiting......waiting can be the hardest.  So hug and adore the children around you, and while you are at it, send up a prayer of gratitude for what you have, and a prayer for Lydia.