Improper Nighttime Rituals

It's 1:00 in the morning. I have a little girl who will be up in about 6 hours, a full day ahead of me, just coming back from a monstrous kidney stone, and here I am.....awake.....telling all of you about it. I know why, too. I made poor choices before going to bed.
*I went to bed a little hungry, so now I have a lovely blood sugar headache.
*I watched part of a movie on my iPad, in a kinked, sideways position....so now my shoulders hurt
*Said movie, was a story about a boy who finds out he was kidnapped and then adopted as a young child and searches for his biological parents.
So I lay in bed for 3 more hours trying to suppress the fear I carry around that this could happen to my little girl. I worry about it all the time. I know part of it is lodged in a healthy awareness of the world we live in, but a large part of it is a tad nutty. I know this.
I think part of it is knowing how fragile this life is. I knew this before I had Makenna, but when Makenna was brand new, we had some friends lose their baby girl in a drowning accident on the Snake River. Something that seemed possible but kind of obscure, got real, very fast.
When I was lying awake, writhing in kidney stone agony, I had lots of time to ponder. And when I ponder, I am always overwhelmed with gratitude that Heavenly Father has blessed me with this beautiful life.
I took Makenna shopping for her birthday today and I was laughing and playing with her, and she just stopped, held my face and said "my mama".....which of course led to tears on Mommy's part. And I looked right in her eyes and said "yes, sweet girl. Your mama. Forever."
So I end this post, in the wise words of Cinderella....."Thank you, so much, for everything......"