For many reasons, what I love about Christmas, are not the usual things. And for sure, it's never about what is under the tree, unless it's something I am giving to someone I love.
I love PREPARING for Christmas. The magic is in the unfolding of ornaments, lights, music, smells, and all about a reason to give and to celebrate Him.
I remember a few Christmases ago pondering the birth of the Savior, and feeling a particular closeness to Mary. We did not yet share the title of Mother, but I found myself fascinated with her anew. I envied her struggle, because at the end of the process, she had a beautiful baby to pour her love, her need to protect, her joy into. She KNEW her baby was unlike any other. She knew her baby came to live an incredible life. She also knew her baby would encounter the best and worst that this world had to offer.
The Christmas before I delivered Makenna, I wondered if I would feel differently after having had a baby. I don't.
I know I am a pansy and couldn't deliver in a stable, while a man I had not known that long and whom I definitely didn't know in an intimate way, saw me in a very vulnerable light. I know I could not "be still and know that I am God" while my child was abused, humiliated, and finally taken from me. I came to realize that although we had much in common, Mary and I, I had a lot of growing to do. I had a lot more trusting to do. Something I thought I had mastered while I was waiting for Makenna to come, I realized that this IS a journey. Nothing is ever mastered, not really. There are levels, there are layers, it is a process.
I do know this, however.....Christmas morning, everything looked bright because it WAS bright. I had so much to be thankful for. I had a few moments to watch me beautiful family sleep, and my cup felt so full, it frightened me. I have SO much. My prayers have been answered, and they will be answered again. Life is a gift, being a mother is a privilege, and being a wife is a joy.
Of course, there are days I still want to scratch out my retinas, but I can step back and see the bigger picture.....and it is beautiful.
On that note.....
Part of Daddy's gift to Makenna, is taking her on a carriage ride through downtown SLC. She ADORES horses, and got so excited at each house with Christmas lights this year, Darren thought this would be a perfect evening. She loved it! Honestly, we all loved it. It's so beautiful downtown this time of year. Utah is definitely home for me, in so many ways.
This year, Makenna got a trampoline for downstairs. She loves it! She also got some clothes, a keyboard, a new tricycle, and other things that she is still enjoying. Most of the day, this is the face that we saw.....all smiles, happy as a clam because we were so excited for her.
I'm actually surprised when I can pull off a great surprise for Darren. He's sometimes easy to buy for but there isn't much out there that he wants. This year, I completely surprised him with an iPhone. This is the face I got when he realized what his gift was. I just love it!! My husband isn't the most demonstrative sometimes, so these are very fun for me.
This is a similar look on my face.....only mine is "no you didn't!.....did you?!?!?" This year was the year of my iPad. I adore it. I know it can't love me back, but I love this little item.
We also were blessed with some beautiful things from the Holy Land this Christmas, as Darren's parents were able to go just before Thanksgiving. They brought back some truly beautiful things from Jerusalem for Darren to use in his teaching, an olive wood nativity (that I adore) and my name in Hebrew to wear around my neck. Both the spirit and the tangible gifts were very generous for our family this year.
We were sick with bronchitis and the like for almost the entire month of December, so we were not able to do Christmas cards this year. I would've been nuts. Please forgive us and for those who sent us one, thank you thank you thank you! We miss you and promise to make it happen in 2013!
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