He....Me.....and She

Product Review

2012-01-14T11:21:00.003-07:00

My dear friend, Cecile, gave this to me as a gift after I had Makenna. She said that the baby's always get gifts, but the mother's don't, so she was bringing the Mommy a gift. I've never used Noodle & Boo products before. This product is a full 10 points.

It's hypoallergenic, not tested on animals (which makes me livid, so it's a good thing), and one little bit goes quite a long way. In fact, I quit using baby lotion on Makenna and we just shared this until it was gone.

It's has a light scent but it smells just like natural ingredients. Nothing "scented" per se.

I LOVE this product and am anxious to try other products in the Noodle & Boo line. It doesn't disappoint.

Hmmmm.....methinks......

2012-01-11T15:42:00.003-07:00

Every once in a while, I think "I wonder what so and so thinks about this product" or I wonder if this product is and does what it presents itself to be. I also have people ask me many times, "so you tried that, what did you think?"

So, every so often, I will devote a short post and blurb about a product, company, store, etc...that I have really appreciated and loved. As these will only be posted by personal experience only, you won't have to endure them all the time.....but you never know.....it might be helpful some time for you. :)

Our Year In Pictures...

2012-01-10T07:57:00.006-07:00

Our First Christmas

2011-12-22T11:34:00.009-07:00

I have spent much time, as most people do this time of year, getting ready for Christmas. It's been such a busy year, that I hope Baby Girl will just remember the fun not all the rushing and schedule mess. I am not a Santa promoter or anti-Santa, as many around us are both.

I was watching a bit of TV when I was making toffee this year, and this celebrity was being interviewed by another celebrity. The interviewer asked her how she and her 2 small children celebrate Christmas, and the interviewee said "Well, we always talk about the Christmas story with our kids. You know, about Santa and the elves and why they live in the North Pole." Sigh. After I returned to my body, I felt sad. Sad that we live in a world where THIS is the Christmas story. Don't misunderstand. Miracle On 34th Street is one of my all time Christmas favorites.....but it is NOT, NOT the Christmas Story.

So, as I've been wrapping and baking and preparing, I've thought a lot about the characters in the story of the birth of our Lord. Last year, I was grateful not to be on a donkey at 6 months of pregnancy.

This year, I have noticed that being a mother has heightened my sensitivity to everything. I have pondered on the role of Mary as she watched her child experience a lifetime (a short one, at that) of pain, betrayal and eventual death. Forget feeling inadequate ALL the time, worried every day, and praying and hoping you are empowering Him to become all He needs to become.

Joseph, delivering a child that is not his own. Raising a child, who probably knows more about everything than you do. Feeling a little left out at times, and other times marveling that you are the stepfather of the Son of God. Talk about pressure.

I marvel as I watch people around me bless the lives of those who have less. I feel humbled that we are a very blessed family of 3, as the holy family was. I weep as I ponder on my friend who lost her little girl this year in a drowning accident and I pray that a huge measure of the Spirit will be in her home as they celebrate Christmas.

I pray that January won't erase the magic that I have felt this year. I pray every. single. day. for a content and grateful heart. From my house to yours, I wish you a very Merry CHRISTmas....

It Goes By So Quickly...

2011-12-09T15:42:00.003-07:00

She turns 9 months old, tomorrow.......

How is it that I can blink, and go from this......

to this.....

What did I ever do before you were born, baby girl? You are absolute joy to my soul.....

p.r.i.v.a.t.e.

2011-11-19T14:37:00.001-07:00

With some goings-on in the last week or so, I'm considering going private with our blog. If I opt to, it won't be for awhile, so don't worry. But if you'd like to continue to be a reader, send me your email address at

lotzwife@cableone.net

I hope you each have a very happy Thanksgiving.

Love, Jenn

All Hallow's Eve

2011-11-02T09:55:00.008-06:00

As it is the 'firsts' for both Makenna and I, it has been so fun to document and enjoy every minute! However, I am so busy enjoying the process, that I sometimes forget to take pictures or post about our happenings.

This isn't her costume, but she needed a plain white hat that covered her ears and some mittens. We found these at Target......not plain. I told Darren, they are ridiculous and putting something like this on our baby feels the same way when people put ridiculous things on older people. However, she makes EVERYTHING cuter, so I tried a little bit of 'kitschy' in her wardrobe. My little Lammie...

Our morning ritual when she wakes up......I take a big blankie in and wrap her in it, sit her on the chair while she watches me make her bottle. (She's getting less and less interested in nursing these days). She's just so cute in that huge blanket, I thought a "Where's Waldo" picture would be fun.

Last Sunday, we took our little sweetheart over to the park to let her see the beautiful colors that Heavenly Father has created for her. She was so tired, but she just LOVES to be outside. I hope she always feels that way. I love her little angel face looking up at the leaves. This photo reminds me how important it is to look up anyway....

Since she's a baby, parents like me, take total advantage of this fact. WE get to choose what they dress up as for Halloween. I looked at quite a few options, but we ordered one that said "Guppy." I giggled and giggled at that. Evidently, that place hasn't ever seen Finding Nemo. She turned out to be a little clown fish. This is a picture with just the hat part on. So cute!

Darren and I went as Ketchup and Mustard. I thought it unfair if we didn't dress up too. We are so vanilla, that I want us to be fun parents, so we are committed to gettin' in the game. Besides, guppies eat their young, right? So it works. I know.....macabe. I do have 3 brothers you know.....it comes naturally.

We didn't get photos of all our stops, but we had to get one with Grandma Cecile and Grandpa Kay. It's a difficult thing to describe the feelings you have when someone, who doesn't have to, loves you and then loves your baby as if you were their own. Makenna was happy as a clam being toted around by Cecile and Dr. Kay. How we love them.

A Family of Three, Finally

2011-10-25T12:45:00.004-06:00

A few shots my mother was sweet to take of us so we can manage a Christmas card this year........how in the world did She manage to become almost 8 months old in such a short time. I must be 100, because this is going by way too fast.

A Quick Update

2011-10-10T08:44:00.007-06:00

*We are working diligently to get our home and yard looking like people actually live here. I'll post pictures as soon as I can

*Baby Girl is 7, yes SEVEN, months old today. I can't believe it and I am already mourning her childhood. Luckily, like when I'm changing a diaper, I am reminded that she isn't 20 yet.

*We (Baby Girl and I) went to Seattle with my parents to pick up my brother Jacob who is HOME from Iraq!!! So fun to see him, to bring him home, and mostly interesting to play single parent on a plane ride. Wow. She's such a good little traveler.

*We got our yard landscaped, raked and seeded.....and then it snowed 6 inches 5 days later. Ugh. Trying not to be a grouch about it. Trying. Really hard.

*I miss Declo. I miss my friends. Beginning anew is good, but lonely work.

*I miss waking up to doves, crickets, and hawks.......I miss tons of trees in my yard.

I hope all of you are doing well and looking forward to the holiday season. I'm determined to make it as simple and Christ-centered this year as possible. :o) Our love to each of you. Also, if you don't update your blogs, then it's gonna be curtains for you. I have to know what is going on in your lives.

Little Flying Nun, at home......

Our trip through Seattle and Oregon......beautiful country

The beach picture my mother took.......it looks just like a painting. Baby girl's first experience putting her toes in the Pacific Ocean. It was so fun to have her with me.

Without Grandma Suze, there would be much of what we do that wouldn't get documented. Thank goodness she's such a photog.

The two of us at the beach in Astoria.....so pretty there!

My Sanctuary of Gratitude

2011-09-19T10:54:00.005-06:00

Now that sweet Baby Girl has a new bedroom, she also finally has a schedule that every child deserves. No more moving stuff, no more leaving the house to show it, no more errands during nap time, no more travel to see Dr. Kay or for Mommy's doctor appointments. She has been amazing.

As part of that, her room is the one room in our house that is done. I have loved putting everything away in there, hanging her pictures, and finally having room for a rocking chair. Everything about her room says "this baby is loved." And that's so good for this mommy. At night, our routine for bed is to sing softly to her, rub her back, kiss her little head or her head or her fingers or anything else I can get a hold of......oh my goodness how I love this baby. I try and put her in her bed still awake, as that is the counsel for good sleep habits. Sometimes she's very tired and falls asleep quickly, and as I hold her close, my heart feels so full I am sure it will burst.

I sit there, holding this miracle of a gift, and I think about how LONG we waited for her. I would sit in the empty nursery and sometimes weep, sometimes pray, but mostly I would dream of the baby that would occupy this space.

As I held her tightly last night, I felt overwhelmed with gratitude for a safe and beautiful home that is ours because of my sweet husband's generous work ethic. I know that he (and we) wouldn't be so blessed if it weren't for the man that he is. Both in the work place and the man he chooses to be every day, are a reflection of his deep rooted beliefs in family and his love of God. It isn't something he does, but it is truly who he is.

When Makenna is sleeping, especially through the eyes and eyebrow area, she looks just like Daddy when he is sleeping. My cup runneth over.....and over.....and over. I know that we are blessed on levels and in ways we might not ever see or know. I pray that I might have the eyes to see ALL the ways the Lord blesses my life. That I might always have a thankful heart. I am thankful today, for a brother home, finally, from Iraq. How I love my brother. How thankful I am that he would go and serve, so that Darren might stay home with us (in a sense).

I have a friend, who has tried to have a baby of her own for years now. She's had endometriosis, severely, most of her adult life. She's done the routine of tests and tests, and surgery, and even tried a round of IVF after saving and saving.....only to have it fail. She has one fallopian tube, her left one, that is completely blocked......and she is now 12 weeks pregnant. Out of the blue. Absolutely no medical help. All on her own. Her Dr is calling this "a miracle baby." Yep, another one this year......

The joy of having your own miracle experience, is only slightly better if at all, of watching someone else's miracle experience and getting to be part of it.

So, this is my quest.......to watch, to wait, to "see" with different eyes, the miracles that surround us. I know they are there. I know it. For I have experienced them for myself.

Friends....

2011-09-02T12:24:00.004-06:00

Since we have moved, yet again in our married life, it gives me time to ponder on the roads I (we) have chosen and where they have taken us. In my old age, I have come to know many things for sure......and one of those "for sures" is that the Lord is aware of our wants and our needs, and that nothing is ever an accident. There is purpose and reason and grace in all we do and all we experience.

As we said goodbye to our friends in Declo, or at least "see you later", I have been reflecting on the many, many lessons and examples I had in my friends. People who would have been my family. Women who, when I am with them, feel like I'm coming home. I hope, one day, to live up to the blessing they have been in my life.

LAURA-there are girlfriend types of friends, and then there are kin spirit/sister type of friends. I can't count the times I was thinking or feeling something that you voiced at the very same time. I can't count the amount of times you helped me pick myself up, dust me off, and with a hug encourage me to keep going. There are those times in life, when if necessary, you'd stand up against something and be quite sure you'd be doing it alone. You are one of those friends who would be across the crowd standing with me. I love you. LESLIE-I hope to somehow be the kind of friend you have always been to me. I would have died of loneliness without you calling me to invite us to go play, or boat, or watch movies, or eat food, or or or or.....you have been a much better friend to me than I have ever been to you. Your tenacity for speaking up when it's not popular for what is right, your ability to serve those who need you, and your deeply driven love for your Savior is admirable and obvious in everything that you do. I am blessed to call you friend. ANGIE-You have taught me a lot about being patient, loving without conditions, service service service, being a willing vessel of whatever the Lord asks of you, of loyalty, and choosing to be happy regardless of what life throws at you. I marvel at you every. single. day. and when I think of whining about anything, I am reminded of my friend Angie. SANDY-once you decided I didn't have the plague (hahahaha) your timing in my life was perfect. You bring a little ray of sunshine into every room and life you walk into. The fact that you lack a social filter is so fun to me. I love it. I love your willingness to participate in things that you are oft times alone in doing. Your love of family and devotion to them is as amazing as your love and devotion to your crazy friends. You know I love you dear. TERINA-My other social filter lacker. I'm so grateful for that first day in RS when you were a newbie and stuck sitting by me. :o) I'm not sure I would have made it through the last 7 years of baby drama and heartache without your constant support. There is something truly beautiful about someone being able to say "I know.....I've been there. And I'm here for you." Thank you, thank you, my dear friend. SHERI-the best neighbor ever. You are irreplaceable, and I know this to be true. You became our Declo family and we miss you already. There aren't many I would trust my home, my cats, and my yard to, but I knew they'd be in better care when I was gone, knowing you looked after them. You are the SWEETEST grandma ever, and I absolutely love watching this phase of your life. KRISSY-You've taught me so much in such a short amount of time. I've watched you with your girls for awhile now and always thought "now that is a woman who actually ENJOYS her babies." I always hoped, if I ever got the chance, I would be the same way with mine. Having experienced what absolute joy a baby girl brings, I think about you every. single. day. Mostly at night, when I put baby girl down for bed. I look at her as I rock her to sleep and cannot imagine how I would get through the days and hours if she was taken from me. I spend much time and effort keeping my testimony alive, growing, and strong as possible......and that would shake the best parts of me. I am grateful to you, for letting me be a part of your life. For allowing me "in" to a very sacred place. You are in my prayers, each day, Krissy. At least once. MAVIS-my adopted Declo Grandma. Need I say more? CHAR-the woman who can be YW president after having served in the same auxiliary for like 100 years, and still do an amazing job, cheerfully. Who has a baby via-C section, gets an infection, has 3 other children to raise, and still walks the parade a few weeks later. I'm pretty sure when I'm not around, you have a little Supermom cape stored in your shirt. You are one that I have watched stand up for what is right and good, while still having appropriate wiggle room for those around you. Considering I have been the WORST visiting teacher lately, I think you have earned the Celestial Kingdom for so many of these things. (I still have my feather!) JULIE-my very first friend in Declo. You are the kind of Mom we all try to be like. I've watched you in church with 4 kids hanging on you and pulling your hair and you like, 5 months pregnant and serving in Relief Society, and still have the where-withall to be cheerful and good natured and patient beyond measure. You visit me way more than I've made it out to your house to visit you. You have an amazing capacity to be honest and even more amazing is your ability to forgive and trust. I love you Julie. Thank you for being my friend. TIFF-it would be very easy to skip church each week with poor Trav's crazy schedule. I love that you still make the sacrifice. Thank you for your friendship....your sweet disposition and sharing your crazy in-laws with me.

So many more that I will have to cover later.....but you can tell that I have been richly blessed by the friends who have intertwined their lives with my own. I am anxious and hopeful to make more friends in our new area. They have big shoes to fill. :o)

My Body Has Moved, But.....

2011-08-26T07:49:00.003-06:00

....my heart is feeling a little confused.

It's interesting that you can find a home, love the home, move into the home, and still it doesn't feel like home. Not yet, at least.

I have a love hate relationship with change. And we have had 3 major changes this year. I love the new adventure, I hate starting over. I love knowing there are new friends to be made, I hate leaving my old ones. I love that no one knows me and I get to introduce myself afresh, I hate that no one knows me and I have to introduce myself. I love that we are closer to Dr's, and grocery stores, and a park.........I hate that I can hear traffic at night and don't wake up to the sounds of crickets and owls. I love our huge yard, I hate that we have to put another yard in.

Poor Heavenly Father......He must be so tired of having the MOST conflicted child ever to have skin. Mostly, every day, I'm grateful. Grateful to know what it feels like to want and go without, so I see the blessings and gifts a little quicker than I might have before. I am grateful that I left little Declo with such sadness as moving there was so difficult for me.

More pictures to post later. As soon as I wade through the sea of boxes that might contain my camera.

4 Months Old

2011-07-21T17:08:00.006-06:00

Yep, it's true......she's 4 months old. Actually, she was 4 months old on the 10th, and since I have been busy trying to move, I am posting late. As I recall, when we were in the hospital and she was only 4 minutes old, I asked her if she would stay little forever. I am pretty sure she agreed to this. Someone isn't holding up her end of the deal. Ahem.

Past the feelings that it's all going too fast, it is amazing to me everyday that she is here. Once that passes, I am amazed that she is her own person and has been right from the beginning.Some fun little Makenna-isms we've noticed.....

*She is the most smiley baby I've ever held

*She has the sweatiest little feet, even when they are cold

*She loves it when people talk and coo at her. Loves it.

*She does NOT like her tummy, so tummy time is similar to hiding veggies in a toddler's food

*She has the grip of a vice. No kidding. Especially when she has ahold of Mommy's hair

*She's discovered her voice, and spends a lot of time "scream-talking"......my ears might not make it through this phase

*She's a happy girl and is smiling and cheerful right up until she's hit the wall and now HAS to go to sleep

*She doesn't care for nap time, unless Mommy's holding her the ENTIRE time (we've been working on that one all week)

Our New House

2011-07-10T19:14:00.012-06:00

So......there is this vicious rumor going around that we are moving. It might have started by the For Sale sign in our yard and the fact that we have told people, that we are moving. I've gotten enough hate mail from all you guys out there about not posting any pictures of our new house, so here you go.

After we put in our yard in Declo, I vowed, yes vowed, to my husband and all things in heaven, that I would NOT be putting in another yard on our next house. Evidently, Someone has a sense of humor.......

There are many things about this house we are grateful for. First, it's on a corner (sort of) which allows for a large backyard. We have been living in the country for 7 years now, and we are not used to people too close to us. We have actually enjoyed the space. This yard will give us plenty of room for a large garden, entertaining area in the back, and a huge yard for Baby Girl to play in. So, I will be brave, courageous, and long suffering (not to mention a drama queen) and put in ANOTHER yard at this house. I guess. I do enjoy selecting what I want in my yard, so I guess it's a win-win.

I don't have a picture of it, but the other thing that was imperative, was a basement. We don't have one in our current home, as we are in the flood zone here. Luckily, we will have a basement. A huge blessing. Plenty of storage, room for 2 additional bedrooms, and office, a family room, and a little workout area. In a state with 9 months of winter, it's a blessing.

This is our kitchen.....luckily we came into this house during construction, so we were able to select our own counters, flooring, paint, and cabinets. A fun little bonus.

This is a photo of our kitchen/great room. The bedrooms are down the hall and wrap around behind this room. It's nice to have the living room and the kitchen all open. I do love that.

A photo of our master bathroom. Something that was a must in our next house. With just the 2 of us even now, it can be a little crowded with just one bathroom. However, I think of people in Ghana and I feel like a glutton that I even get to own a house. With Baby Girl and company, we will need another though. I love the flooring in here. It's a porcelain made to look like travertine (the stone) but highly durable and great for water areas. I also love that the closet is a walk-in and located inside the bathroom. Great feature.

One very sad thing I noticed about this house......all our Declo friends don't come with the house. Sigh..........I will miss you.

The Many Faces of Motherhood

2011-06-08T10:18:00.003-06:00

As a new mother, I am seeing those mothers around me in a fresher light. A light that, if you are watching, reflects the deepest parts of a mother's soul. I am familiar with the light of Longing, as I spent 11 years watching it reflect in me, my most personal and difficult heartaches. I won't ever forget what it felt like to be part of that club. Although I've graduated from that now, I do not feel any more worthy or deserving than my sisters who are still longing. In fact, I probably pray harder for them now than I ever did.
I have a friend who lost her little girl a few weeks ago in a drowning accident in the Snake River. I am seeing, firsthand, the light of Loss for a mother.......and if I thought Longing was difficult, Loss has a whole new dimension to it. At the viewing, that I could NOT miss, even though we weren't taking M out anywhere, I watched this mother. Since then, I have pondered on her daily. How would I get up in the morning if M was taken from me? Would I have the strength to see the face of Deity in this tragedy? Would I be such an example to others as I allowed them to love me, to weep with me, to share in this with me? Although, I thought it impossible, I have a new level of appreciation for my little M. For the late nights and early mornings. For the poopie diapers and throw up in my hair. For the crying, my chubby-post-baby body still, for the price of diapers, for the lack of me time, for my messy house now.......because it means She is here. Safe. With Me. Thank you Krissy.

Mayberry......in Idaho

2011-06-03T14:32:00.004-06:00

Today was quite a beautiful day....considering it's rained and been windy for the longest time. I forgot that it's June and not February until this morning.I walked over to the Seminary with baby girl strapped to my chest in a baby Bjorn. We picked up Daddy and then walked down to the Post Office. We chatted with Judy for a bit about baby girl, her new little granddaughter, the weather, etc. We got our mail, started walking back. We waved at a few people and friends we know driving by. We noticed the comings and goings of the town hub, the convenience store. We spotted a teenage kitten playing in the grass and then hiding when he saw us coming. I left D at the Seminary, and continued home, through the park.....and I felt it. The sadness of leaving a place that has become home, and welcomed me (for the most part) into it, and then joy that I feel sad. This little town will hold a special place in my heart.
We've grown here, we've made family out of friends here, we bought our first home here.....I became a mother here.....

So We Are.....?

2011-05-15T20:38:00.004-06:00

MOVING! For those of you who don't know, Darren received a transfer the day before we were headed home from having Makenna. When it rains, it pours....and pours....and pours. Holy cow. We are being transferred to the Idaho East Area, in Idaho Falls. Actually, Darren will be teaching in Shelley but the area covers Shelley, Idaho Falls, and Rigby.

It's been 17 years since I lived in the town I grew up in....so.....pray for us. :o)

She's A Blessing....

2011-05-11T11:22:00.004-06:00

On the 1st, we gathered at our ward, with our friends and family to bless little Makenna. Earlier in the day, we decided to take her over to Twin Falls to see Shoshone Falls before we move this summer. They really are spectacular this time of year. On Sunday, after her Daddy gave her the sweetest blessing, we met at our dear friends' house for some food and great conversation. Her are a few pictures from the big day. It was SO fun and I've never been so tired. Thanks everyone for your help. Thanks Makenna for giving us another reason to celebrate the miracle that you are.......we do love you so.
Our happy little family.....

The group of friends and family who came to support us. We are so blessed!

A picture of 3 generations of women on my mom's side.......we didn't know if this day would come.
A moment with Mommy....O how I love this little girl......

The Love of My Life

2011-04-25T14:10:00.007-06:00

So, I've had this chip on my shoulder about people who have a baby and then can't blog anymore because they are so busy. I'm thinking, "yeah, but you're home most of the time.....you MUST blog!" I've repented. Blogging scoots down to about 10,000th on the list of Must Do's these days. I get it. I repent.
However, the cause for my blogging negligence is SOOOOO worth it. It's about 9 pounds or so, barfs on me, poops on me, wets on me, pulls my hair out, deprives me of sleep, and sometimes bawls at random when she doesn't like what we are having for dinner........and it's BLISS. Yep, my new little Makenna Monster is to blame, and I am loving it! I am seriously concerned about giving her brain damage because of all the kissing and mauling I've done to her.
A few updates for her fans.....

She's Here!!!!!!!!!

2011-03-17T19:00:00.003-06:00

Arrival: March 10th, 2011 4:43 p.m.
Weight: 7 1/2 pounds
Length: 20 1/2 inches

It has been a little busy around here lately, but I wanted to post some photos for everyone to see. We are all doing well, albeit a little sleep deprived. Delivery was surprisingly smooth as I was induced at 9 am and had her at 4:43 pm.....and only pushed for about an hour. You should have seen our cute Dr become a cheerleader!

I do not know what I would have done without the constant support and encouragement of my sweet husband. We've never been as emotional as we were during that labor process and then when she was here. The Spirit was palpable as this little miracle came into our world. From start to finish, we have seen the hand of God in her, unlike anything I've ever seen. She is proof that miracles are all around us, as her coming was against every logical odd.

Having our family and friends surround us and come to see her has meant the world. Her arrival has been anticipated by many, but especially by her parents. We are humbled every minute as we watch and love this beautiful gift.

F-O-R-E-V-E-R

2011-03-03T20:28:00.002-07:00

Well, it took us FOREVER to get pregnant and now I am wondering if I will be pregnant.....FOREVER. What if she decides she's a baby elephant and wants to stay put for the next year and a half???? Um, I have cabbage patch kid feet, can't wear my wedding ring, haven't seen my knees for months, LIVE in the bathroom, waddle like a giant duck, eat too much get raging heartburn, too little and get morning sickness, and never thought I would be the owner of......cankles. *sigh* It's March, my darling girl......time to meet the world.
A few photos to be a little more updated.

I have always been blessed with the best of friends.....always. And it started when I lived in Idaho Falls. Friends like I've been blessed with are in a whole different league......they are family. My family......my dearest friends. This baby girl is lucky to have so many people who love her already.

Random January

2011-02-04T10:58:00.002-07:00

Ahhhhh, week 34........I'm not sure I have any room left. I'm pretty sure I am going to tip over frontwards. But......I am loving knowing all is well and soon we will have her here!
Baby Shower in Declo....
I have the neatest friends. I've always been blessed with really good friends. It's a theme that has continued in Declo. This is the shower (we only got a few pictures at the end) that they threw me on the 29th. It was SO fun to visit and share some time with the women in my ward and community that I have grown to love so much. Thanks Angie, Leslie, Terina, and Sandy. You know I love you guys! Below: Mavis, Terina, Sandy, Evelyn, Leslie, and Laura

A quick photo before we went to get something to eat. I was a hungry monster!
Below: Me, little Lily, Angie, Terina, Sandy, and Tiff. Thanks you guys! It was SO fun!

So, I got a 9mm Ruger for Christmas. I love it. It's awesome. But I think Darren is more infatuated with it than I am. Every once in awhile he'll bring it out of the office and say, "Do want to hold your gun???" Who is he?? It's hilarious. I burst into laughter, still! So, he came home from work the other day, went in the office, and came out giving me this pose......
My very own 007 Agent.....I'm such a lucky girl!
While in Idaho Falls over Christmas, Darren took me over to the Licensing Building to apply for a Concealed Weapons License. This way, I can carry it on me when we hike or camp and I can carry it with me in the car when I travel. Growing up with artillery and knowing how to use it, I am very comfortable with this gun, so my feelings of safety and my ability to protect myself and my family has increased. However, seeing a 8 month pregnant woman in there applying and getting this license, brought a lot of stares from the men that were there. It was SO funny!

Christmas 2010

2011-01-20T11:00:00.002-07:00

This Christmas was a little different this year. With the changes in just our little family, it felt different this year. I have a different bond with Mary than I did before. I appreciate her willingness to take upon herself, alone in many ways, the responsibility entrusted her with the grace she did. In a time where a young, unmarried woman is found expecting a child, she could have easily been stoned to death. Hiding a baby coming is impossible.
Traveling and delivery under such uncomfortable circumstances with very little physical or emotional support or rejoicing from loved ones must have made it more difficult.
As I have been the recipient of a very sensitive and sweet husband, I felt a different love and respect for Joseph. A calling from Deity, in different ways, equally difficult. To trust and support a woman that you love and want to have a family with, but that would have to wait. To carry the responsibility of protection, care, and safety for your wife and her, not yours, unborn child who would be the Savior of all mankind. Whenever I have cared for other people's children, there is an element of enormous trust that comes into play. There is always a bit of a feeling of inadequacy knowing you aren't doing things like "mom" would. I can't imagine measuring up to my step son's Father.
Even with the help and watchful eyes of the Heavens......the responsibility would be more joyous than you'd ever know and more weighty than you'd ever realized. The Holy Family, indeed.
On a more secular side........it was a Christmas of firsts for us. The first time I have been at my parents for Christmas and one of my siblings was gone. We were able to Skype with Jacob from Iraq and I've never been more grateful for cool technology. Just to see him and hear him made me feel enormous relief. Although they have stolen some of his hair, he looked great.

It was also the first Christmas I have been pregnant.......and that adds just another level of reverence for the holiday and the reason we celebrate it.
It was the Christmas I got my first gun! Darren and my parents went in together and got me a Ruger 9 mm handgun. The very one I've wanted for awhile. Darren took me in to get my Concealed Weapons license, and you should have seen the looks we got as a 7 month pregnant lady applied for it. It was hilarious!
I was VERY surprised! Thanks, honey....

This was also my first year to try making a blanket. The shocking part, is I did it all by myself, and it turned out perfectly! I made it for my aunt, who has always coveted the one I have. It has 2 sides, one which has puppy paws on it. She has raised Pomeranian pups for most of her adult life, and loves them. This last year, she had to put her last one down and so I had embroidered the names of her dogs in each of the corners of the quilt. It was so fun to give it to her. So fun it turned out! I think she is amazed and my skills in this picture......

My parents got Darren a sports coat for Christmas, and this is his surfing-GQ-Ifeelridiculousposing pose. It looks great on him and even better with a tie ensemble instead of jammies. :o) Looking up at him, I look like Shamu in these pictures, but at least it's for a good cause.

We hope (late) that each of you had a merry Christmas. I am excited for the possibilities that a new year brings to us. 2011 is looking promising already!

The Only Time in Your Life You Look Darling in 2D

2011-01-08T10:30:00.004-07:00

We were able to go back to the hospital to do a 3D ultrasound of our little munchkin. Before they just had photos for us.

This time they had a couple of videos and then photos taken in 3D so you can get a better idea of how she looks. However, if she moves at all while the photo is processing, it distorts the image. Naturally, she moved in every one of them. :o) We did get a couple that were close, though.

This one showed her nose really well.....and then distorted everything else.

This one wasn't bad for her nose, lips, and profile.....

This one kinda distorted her nose, but that's okay. This one, I'm pretty sure she did for her Aunt Leslie.....she seems to be furrowing her brows at all this attention and picture taking during nap time. I NEVER furrow my brows, so I have no idea where she got this. :o)

Even with all this evidence.....I still can't believe she is coming. We have 2 months left to get ready.....but I wonder if you can ever be ready. As these last couple of months draw to a close, the reality of meeting a whole new person seems so surreal. It also feels like it's just she and I now, as we prepare to work together to get her here safely. I think my body is getting ready to be done, but I will miss those little movements throughout the day and night that only we share. You can't get any closer to team work than when you share a body. I will miss this.

The men I love, December, and Little Girl

2010-12-30T05:25:00.004-07:00

I really love my Dr.......luckily he is also an old and a dear friend, so that makes it VERY easy. However, as D-day comes closer my feelings have deepened as the reality is setting in. We REALLY have a baby coming, and I want the very best person for the job on the "catching" part of this experience. Not only is Kay a great Dr, but he's a great man. He's married to a wonderful woman, he honors the Priesthood he bears, he knows the value of family, and I have not had one ounce of worry since we asked him to deliver our little girl. That every girl could be so lucky.
I've received much hate mail :o) because of lack of bump updates.....so here you go!

This one is week 29--Darren is finally in a bump picture. I have had so many people tell me that "I;m just not carrying that big." When I went in for my check up on Monday, the nurse asked why I was there. Um, seriously?? Now granted, I was wearing a jacket but I nearly fell off my chair laughing. The evidence seems pretty compelling.
In this photo, we are just back from doing the dreaded glucose test, the week of Christmas, and getting our 3D ultrasound......busy baby week. She moves ALL the time! It's amazing to look down and see my shirt moving all over the place. I'm starting to believe there really is a person in there. :o)
I return home from delivering presents in Utah and my sweet husband surprised me with yet another project, DONE! He has been a lifesaver through this and through Christmas. I am so thankful for such a sensitive spouse who is so willing and attentive to help and so cheerful about doing it.....he's amazing, truly.

Shroggy.....

2010-12-07T21:22:00.004-07:00

One foggy Christmas Eve is about right.....except for the Christmas Eve part. But outside tonight at our house, it looks very much like this. We saw one star. One. It's quite the cool atmosphere out there if we hadn't just had Halloween.It's been the week of "um, seriously" at our house. After Thanksgiving, I was so looking forward to coming back home, ready to begin preparations for Christmas. You have to remember that for us, we lose a good week or so as we travel for this holiday, so things have to be ready, wrapped, sent, stamped, or whatever BEFORE we get on our merry way. This year we will be in IF.

The evening before I was headed home from some Dr appointments last week, I just kept having this chronic aching in my legs. I know we are entering month 7 of this pregnancy, but this frequent made me feel like a slug. I mean, I was a runner before this baby......

The next morning I felt like I had been hit by a Mack truck. My mother, who is wise and about to be a grandma again, drags me to the Dr before I head home. One hour and 1 prescription later, I'm told to watch for a fever, because "we don't want this turning into influenza or pneumonia." Um, seriously?

I've wasted plenty of time with morning sickness, so we are NOT having either of those. By the time I get home, I walk in, love on my kitties, and hit my bed. Thank goodness for my mother who dragged me to the Dr amidst major eye rolling. I've not been this sick, for a long long time.

Gotta love what you bring home from the "relatives" house over Thanksgiving. It was worth seeing our nieces and nephews though and to spend the time with Darren's brother. What a fun little family they are.

On the upside (for me) Darren got "IT" too, so he called in sick to work this week for the first time in the 7 years we have been here. This man NEVER takes a sick day. Ever. Does this tell you how hard we were hit? Hopefully we have our turn out of the way just in time for the holiday. Wash your hands, cough into your arm, and don't sneeze on me! :o)

The Balance....of Thanksgiving and You've Got To Be Kidding!

2010-11-24T05:51:00.004-07:00

*We got our first, major snow storm here in Declo this week. Well, first and second and third.....combined with wind from somewhere very unholy, I'm pretty sure. It has been SO cold, but it's also been so pretty! I am a fall girl, not a winter girl. My mother (and her inner Indian) would have winter 365 days a year if she could. How we are related, I'm not sure. I'm still checking into the accuracy of hospital records from the 70's. :o) But this year, it's been delightful. You just can't have Thanksgiving and Christmas without major snow. The balance?? Why, o why, do we have to defy death and DRIVE in it??? Oh, that's right. We live in Idaho, and we live in Declo......

*My sweet husbnd is VERY good about keeping things shoveled and cleaned up when we have a snowfall, let alone the pour down that we got this week. He came right home from work and shoveled our driveway and then into the street so we could get the car out of the garage. (Remember, Declo doesn't have snow service that cleans the streets for you). We also feed this little family of kitties, so I tried to scoop a little path on the back patio where they could get to their food. It was very heavy snow, so I decided not to do too much. After we both come in, it's not 10 minutes later that there is a plow on our street, attempting to clear a path for our vehicles and in the process, piling it right in front of our driveway! Three feet of packed snow......um, duh! So little Darren goes back out there, to dig us out again. Ya gotta be kidding me. I too, look into the back yard and see my path, my lovely path, is now completely covered because the wind keeps drifting the snow. Sigh. Time to get the kitties fitted for snow boots I guess. :o)

*I have the hardest time finding boots. It's amazing. Either snow or dress for winter, it's a drama made for T.V. I finally find some but the only store close to us is in Utah. I think, "great", we are headed down there anyway, I'll have Darren's mom run over and grab them for me. After finally getting her, and after she got over there and they found my order, I have boots! Well, I will have them once we get to Utah. Then this morning, I open our mail, and what do you know??? A 20% coupon for that very store, for their boot line! You've got to be kidding me. Poor girl at the boot store....she gets to hear from me again this week. You guys really ought to send her a sympathy card. :o)

*Being pregnant with Muhammad Ali has it's bonuses. When our little girl is in a "work out" mode, she can wake me up she's so active. However, she's a faker.....in faking shyness. How do they know how to do that so little?? The minute someone's hand is on my belly, she quits. Dead quick about it too! I think everyone thinks that I am a big, fat liar because she will NOT kick on cue. It's really quite comical, except for those who really want to feel her and she won't let them. A surprise attack is the only way. I'm going to have to have peoples' hands glued to my belly for a 24 hour period in order to feel less Pinocchio-like. However, the fun part is to have such an active baby at this point. It's a feeling of relief to feel her moving about in there. It's also a delight to look down and see my shirt moving! Yeah, again....no one believes me with that one either.

Gotta Do It

2010-11-19T18:40:00.002-07:00

It's the season, so you will have to indulge me doing a Thankful List:

#1--My Parents
Who have been monumentally supportive of me/us while I have been pregnant. They have helped us haul furniture back and forth a gazillion times, taken me shopping for baby stuff to get a few things ready, won't let me lift anything over the weight of a kitten, drive myself anywhere, my mother has rubbed my achy feet and my dad my back without me saying a word. Amidst all of this, have been very excited and love to watch me in this process. I'm a grateful girl.

#1--My Husband (it's a tie)
Who has been going to work, and in school working on a Master's, and taking care of the yard alone, and cleaning after our cats, and making me food along with keeping me on an eating schedule, who gets up with me when I'm throwing up and tucks me in when it's bed time, who drives me everywhere as he doesn't like me traveling alone either, who lets me bring another kitten home so I can "babysit" when he knows I just need some kitten time. Who never complains when I make scrambled eggs AGAIN, and who willingly and cheerfully eats leftovers more than anyone I know. The husband who was a huge help in getting our nursery organized and cleaned out so we actually have somewhere to put our little one when she comes and during all this gets cold and manages to still keep going. Cheerfully, even. What a darlin'.

#2--My Brother Jake
.....who was deployed this week for Iraq. Who has NEVER been away from home for longer than a couple of nights at a time until he joined the Reserves. Ah, Jacob.......our family isn't complete without you. I love you, brother.

#3--Unexpected Miracles
Yeah.......I just can't wait to meet her.........

#4--Little Creatures
Kittens.....horses......otters......puppies.....pretty much anything that contains Life, fascinates me. I adore the creatures of the world....and if it isn't adoration, it's fascination for sure.

#5--The Season of Christmas
The new energy in stores......mint and orange flavored Kit Kats......the MUSIC.....the movies......the lights.....the preparation. I ADORE Christmas. This Christmas, I am SO SO SO grateful I don't have to ride anywhere on a donkey. Oh my!

Go Shutterfly!

2010-11-18T20:28:00.005-07:00

So....Shutterfly is giving away free, 50 of them, Christmas cards if you blog about them and this promotion. I've only used Shutterfly for a few photo options, as they are new to me, but I am anxious to try this Christmas card promotion and see how we like it. My sister-in-law has used their services multiple times and always seems very happy with what they do.
I was looking around their website and since I live far, far away from civilization, I love how many options are available not only for Christmas car ideas, but for calendars, stationary, etc.....almost anything you can personalize you can do. What fun ideas I am having for Christmas!
Click http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-cards to see options on Christmas card ideas! One thing I love is that they offer Christmas cards with a religious theme, if you want it. I am SO tired of seeing nothing about Christmas, and only about "holidays."
They have calendars, aprons, shirts, puzzles, life size posters, stickers, gift certificates, ornaments, keepsake boxes, and just about anything else you can imagine. I always thought making ties with little photographs on it was a little kitschy and kinda dumb, but there are some fun variations of items that we all use that can be personalized in a fun way. I LOVE technology when used like this. So fun! Be sure and make sure those Christmas cards make it to the Lotz family here in Idaho. Ahem. :o)

Video From Her Ultrasound

2010-11-11T13:18:00.002-07:00

It's really hard to tell what is what in an ultrasound video, but this is one Darren took and isn't too bad. At first you are looking at her from the top of the head, and then the tech shifts to see her from the side, and then back to the top of the head again. You can see her little heart beating and at one point, her spinal cord. I thought that was so neat! At the beginning, you get a really great shot of her feet and leg.

Catching Up from Being a Zombie

2010-11-11T13:01:00.006-07:00

Since I am getting back into being a human person in the Land of the Living, we have a few things to catch up on. Somehow, this pregnancy, has not allowed me to be on the computer (at all in the beginning) or do too much driving, so I am playing catch up! Since I was a whiner in my last post, which isn't common for me, I am committed to the balance of joy. Which is where I'd rather land anyway, sick and all. :o) So, here are a few pictures of our little "bumpette" and the day we went to the ultrasound. This is a photo outside of the hospital where we are planning on delivering. My cousin Leslie was a sweetheart to come (driving 3 hours to be there) with us to our ultrasound. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have had the faith that this blessing would ever be ours, without Leslie's constant faith and continually reminding me that I would be a mother. One of those times that I had to lean on the faith of another.......literally. With our history in this department, it was difficult for Darren and I to trust that this was for real, and this baby was for sure, and everything was okay. We'd work on it continually but there is that human side that prepares itself and you for the "just in case" scenario. "Just in case" was more true to our experience, so it truly was an act of faith to trust. After the first sonogram and after the ultrasound, you could almost feel the sighs of relief across the globe from Darren and I collectively feeling like we could settle into this whole pregnancy thing. On this one, Darren seemed a little more cautious than I was, which is major role reversal for us. Probably on account that he now had to girls to worry about if everything wasn't all right. What a fun day it was to see our little one! I love living in the age of technology, for reason like this. These next two are....well, horrible of me. We always would remember to journal our baby progress with photos, in the evening. Hair brushed, no make-up, and not looking gorgeous at all. This just shows how much I love you guys that I would brave the Internet looking like a mountain troll. :o) This is about week 16.....This is about week 20ish......
My shirt, the only "kitschy" one I have bought says "Embrace the Bump" on the front. I thought it was kind of cute and my mother insisted I have one shirt that is kitschy. I conceided.

Ugggghhhhh

2010-11-08T10:31:00.002-07:00

On days like today, I am very grateful for a husband who is so amazing and so supportive. I am pretty sure that after the last few months, I would be a welcome addition to State Hospital South without his help and support. Seriously. Although much of this phase has passed......
......there seem to be new phases right after the old ones. Like the phase I am in now. Fatigue seems to be the battle of the day. Like monster-mono fatigue. Trying to figure out something that sounds good to eat seems impossible, especially when you factor in that it has to be like 50,000 times per day. Ugghhhh. If I have to cook it.....blehhhh......start over.
I also seem to want to take my cats to the pound. If you know me, you know that my stomach turns over and the tears are right there when I see road kill. I worry that I care more about the world's animals than I do people and I carry this fear inside me that there is an animal somewhere that is being mistreated. So this is a new one. We've been kitten sitting for the last few days and it's been such fun to have a little one around that is playful, healthy, and affectionate. I am weary of dealing with health issues with my own cat or the other one that is great companionship for the first one, but not so much for humans.
At the beginning of this pregnancy, we were so excited and surprised, we really couldn't have cared less about anyone who wasn't equally excited and/or supportive. Now that we are closing in on the 6 month mark in a few weeks, to experience the contrast is difficult! Luckily, most everyone has been darling and patient......and very enthusiastic. It just takes one or two to deflate that a bit these days, and it's very frustrating. What happened to my thick skinned side??
Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday, and this year I might be content on skipping right over it and enjoying Christmas. Can you enjoy Christmas if you skip over Thanksgiving? Not sure.
Okay......I never appreciate those who use FB or their blog to whine about life. I promise to be better. Promise. The good news is............I'll keep you posted.

Her First Photo Shoot.....

2010-10-26T06:48:00.004-06:00

Ultrasound photos aren't ever that spectacular, as far as resolution is concerned, but I still had to post these for those of you who are dying to see them and don't live near us. We'll keep this G-rated as this is a family blog, but it sure it funny how at this stage of life, how interested people are at seeing a picture of you and ALL your parts. This appointment took FOREVER to come around. My mushy brain was in full swing and I was dying to know that there really was a baby in there, and really anxious to make sure all was well, and really excited to know what we were having so we could plan! This whole pregnancy has been a huge surprise, so knowing at least one thing was important to me. It was so fun!
It's interesting to me to note too, that the minute we found out we were having a girl, it's like this baby was always a girl. That relationship solidifies so quickly the more info you get.
So here is our little girl in her first debut.....a picture of her arm, flexed I'm sure. Very buff.
And then a profile picture.....This is important as we need to be prepared to see if she has the Lotz family nose, or my buggy eyes. I have a feeling, however, that I neither of us would even care should that be the case. :o)

It's A..........GIRL!

2010-10-21T08:05:00.003-06:00

Having only come this far in this pregnancy, there are 2 appointments that take FOREVER to come around. The first appointment with my Dr and the ultrasound appointment. Leading up to both appointments, the really optimistic part in my brain kicks in and wonders "what if I am just getting chubby and there really isn't a baby in there??" Even though all evidence is to the contrary, my nature in the baby department is preparing for the worst and evidently, the most weird and impossible. The ultrasound appointment wasn't any different......even with evidence like this..... I am realizing how much more is a matter of faith and trust, even when there is obvious proof, because my brain turns to illogical mush and tries to function when things are too good or too exciting.
When we got home from our ultrasound, this is what awaited us on my mother's front porch...
We were to pop the balloons of whatever we weren't having. Darren was so cute about it too. He grabbed a pink one and then popped the blue ones with the other hand, so for a minute, he had psyched everyone out on what we were having. My aunt and my mother are so cute about things like this. It makes the worry diminish greatly when there is so much excitement and positive energy about this process wherever we go. We finally took time to read what was on the balloon. A picture of our final balloon by our baby girl.....(as close as you can get, I guess) And then big kisses from her Daddy.....Sometimes I don't want to breathe for fear I will wake up and find I was dreaming. I adore my husband, we are having a baby finally, he loves his job, we love our little home and our community, and we have such a supportive family. My cup truly runneth over. When the Lord said that He would "pour out blessings upon your heads, so much that you would not have room enough to receive it" I now know what He means. My heart isn't big enough for the gratitude I feel. What a beautiful place to relax into.....

Gratitude For Friends, Old & New

2010-10-11T08:24:00.005-06:00

Now that 24/7 morning sickness has eased a bit, I feel that I am more in touch with the land of the living. Truly, I feel like a coma patient (without the luxury of the coma part) who just missed the last 3 months of life.

During that time I had the best care and support from my sweet Declo friends. I wish I had the gift of "knowing." This isn't a testimonial-type gift, like knowing the Gospel, or knowing that life continues beyond this life. I have that down pretty good. It's the knowing what to do in the now. When I hear about someone in our ward, who lost a family member or is ill, I always feel my heart ache for them, but I never ever know how to reach out or what to do. That must be why I have friends that are so good at it and just do it. I need the examples desperately. How do you know when to take dinner in, and what day to do it, and what to make??? How do you know when to make a phone call, or when a note is better, or when to wait so you aren't smothering them???

The one gift I envy of the Savior's, is the gift of knowing that He paid such a price for in Gethsemane. The gift of knowing how every moment of each of our lives would feel. I can often feel a glimpse of what others might be going through, and I stand amazed by the people around me......but knowing how to best support them, not so good.

When we were in Utah this weekend for BYU's homecoming game, we went to church at our old ward. Most everyone, by now, has heard our news about this miracle/surprise baby coming to our family. It was such a treat to see everyone, as it's not very often we are in Utah and not very often we are there to go to church. After Sacrament Meeting, I had quite a few friends who came up to hug me and congratulate us and it turned into a cry fest. These old friends who I forget have watched us and prayed for us, as long as we have been trying and praying. Some friends who have also spent much time, money, and years to have their children as well, who KNOW what it's like to be on both sides of the fence.

I have always felt that family is truly what you make it, and my friends are dear to me as my family. They have been my family. Today, I am truly grateful that I have always been blessed with such good, grounded, centered, Christ-like friends......I need them. I need their examples, as I so stand in need of improving.

My Body Has Been Taken Hostage.....

2010-09-30T08:21:00.002-06:00

So, I have an ego. I didn't realize this until recently. For those of you who are on their 12th baby in 5 years, you'll have to just indulge my fascination with this whole process of pregnancy.
One of my least favorite words in all creation is "assume." Just ask my poor husband. There are days I can loathe the word. Luckily, I also assume much more than I think I do.
For example, I really thought that since I inherited my mother's hair, her eyes, and many other qualities, I would automatically inherit her ability to be a pioneer-type pregnant woman. You know the kind. They get pregnant really easy, they look amazing even pregnant, they aren't sick ever, they can still mow the lawn at 40 weeks, and have a labor that lasts all of 15 minutes and then they are back to their normal routine. Not so, with the daughter. Wow.
My cousin and I both have mothers like that. Hers happens to be my mother's oldest sister. In the last 2 months when Darren has texted me asking what I am doing my usual answer is "praying for death." Or "praying for death over the toilet."
My ego got in the way.....I thought my experience would be like my dear mother's. Nope. I've had my share of surgeries and health stuff and flu and and and and......it's nothing compared to morning sickness, which is a big fat lie, since it lasts for 3 solid months steady. No break. All day, all night, holy cow.
The part that is fascinating to me is how I am just dragged along for the ride. I don't get to choose anymore what I want for dinner. I don't get to choose what outfit I can wear anymore. I have this aversion to noise, my computer, and for a person who appreciates autonomy......this baby knows when Darren isn't home. And we both miss him terribly even when he's only gone for the day. It's such a weird feeling to watch my tummy grow, without my consent, and our little one is clear about what I can and cannot eat or do. It's amazing.
I feel very grateful for this experience. I'm grateful for the blessing of waiting. I know it has helped me not take it for granted. Every new facet is fascinating to me. What I am averse to that I wasn't before. It will be fascinating to see if any of this is a pre-game show of the personality of this little one. It's amazing to me, that even at this stage, they come with their own personality. Okay.....that's all. :o)

Miracles....

2010-09-10T18:12:00.005-06:00

For those of you who don't know yet, Darren and I found out about 2 weeks ago that I am pregnant. In fact, I am about 14 weeks and due in March.For us, after 11 years of trying, hoping, wondering, doctors, needles, money, money, needles, worry, loss, failed adoptions, etc.......it is a miracle on a scale grander than we would dare expect or hope for.
I began to wonder if I needed to wrap my mind and heart around never being a mother. How do you do that? It's like trying to wrap around being a panther. A piece of who you are, would be missing.

As I look back on this process that has brought me in touch with levels of emotion I didn't know I was capable of, I am grateful for those who have shared their candle of faith with me. I've not experienced a process more excruciating than this one. Without my cousin Leslie constantly telling me there are babies coming....there are babies coming, I might have thrown in the towel sooner. Without my niece Megan asking Darren EVERY TIME she saw him, when we were going to have a baby, he might have too. Without my dear Declo friends always looking out for me and being such beautiful examples of emotional and physical support, the weight on my heart might have too much. The support of my husband, and my Mom, and my friends Janet & Cecile before this baby came and during these past few months has been truly vital. Truly.

I'm not sure what changed in the math of our equation. Why now? And I don't really care, but I find it fascinating. We took a pause from doing any fertility treatments in January. We (I) thought maybe it was time to stop altogether. So to become pregnant without any "trying", or planning, or tests, or blood work....just out of the blue, is truly a miracle.

I know it's difficult to really get if you've not spent the time we have pursuing this, but I think we all know what it is like to long for something. To feel that a piece is missing. To wonder what more you could be doing. If you are a mother, imagining your life without the children you have and what that would mean to you. We all have those struggles and those moments.

I know I have learned much and am grateful for those who stay the path, amidst the adversity. Who take the high road when they have every reason not to. Who are good in deed not just in word. Thank you for being part of my journey.....

Being Brave.....or something

2010-08-18T12:03:00.003-06:00

It's often a Lotz Family tradition to spend some time in Park City during the summer. Because of Darren's work/school schedule this year we were only able to be there for the day. So, we decided to pack it in. Literally.
We did the Alpine slide, and then the Ultra Zipline, and the Xtreme Zipline all in one day. One after the other, actually. I've never done a zipline. I know the general concept but it's impossible to describe the feeling of falling down a mountain until the weight of your body creates a little resistance with the line. On the Xtreme, you are going about 55 mph......and it feels like that at the beginning. It's at the Olympic Park over the Aeriel's jump.......
Two victims in front of us on the smaller of the 2 ziplines...
Me on the ski lift whilst heading to the big ONE
The Xtreme zipline to the right along with the Olympic park sign.....crazy!

A City.....of Rocks?

2010-07-24T18:28:00.004-06:00

Zachary, my youngest brother came to our house for a few days. We decided to take one day and head up to the City of Rocks. Lame, you think? I thought that too when I heard the name. Then I realized it wasn't far from our house and there isn't anything too cool around Burley, Idaho, so I wasn't prepared to enjoy my time. However, it's a national park, so why not check it out. Other than lacking a significant body of water anywhere nearby, it really is cool. Really. It looks like something out of a prehistoric land and the rock formation are some of the most unique I've ever seen in my travels. This is a shot taken from the west side. You actually come in on the east, but I like this shot best. I wish I can pan around and show you the whole valley. It's much better than this photo.
One of our latest finds.....this rock formation that felt like a little house more than just a rock. Perfect for resting in the shade. My brother, Zachary, found this and it's so cool inside!
We went to the very top of the park to work our way down. This formation is called, very appropriately, Loaves of Bread. There were some climbers and "repellers" on top and so I snapped a shot of these brave people. My stomach flip flops just looking at these pictures! Can you see the little, tiny person on top???This photo was taken on top of Treasure Rock. When you get to the very top, our car was about 1/8 of an inch. It's crazy! Because of the quality of the granite, however, it makes the rocks almost sticky. I was surprised just wearing my Keens how easily I could climb.
This one is called Window Arch. It's a favorite of mine. Darren is also a favorite of mine, so it's perfect. It was such a nice day to hike, feed a chipmunk, enjoy the sun, and drink in the beauties and grandeur of this planet we live on. To share it with 2 of the most important people in the world to me, was bliss!

The Sargent Family Biking Trip to Skull Canyon

2010-07-21T21:20:00.005-06:00

I come from an avid biking family. No, not the pedal bikes, although I love doing that too. Motorcycles. Dirt bikes in particular, although my mother and brother both have a 750 street bike. At quite a young age, I learned to ride a 2 stroke 250. If that bike fell on me, I wouldn't be able to get it off of me. The solution? Don't ever wreck! :o)
Last week, as a family, we took an all day biking trip to Skull Canyon. This is the summit from which we took our family picture. Isn't it beautiful? It's rare to get every member of my immediate family on one outing. For just a minute, although I missed Darren being there, it was fun to just marinate in the moment.
One of the many trails we could see from the summit.

Skull Canyon is one of the many mining towns in the area. We discovered this abandoned mine in our travels. You had to crawl down a small hole to get to it, but what a cool shaft! Something about the history of this area is so appealling to me and yet, it kinda gives me the creepy crawlies. My niece, Cora, and I were "twins" since I put both of us in 2 braids. We also found a flower that we thought would add to our dirty loveliness......I end up looking like Little Cindy Loo-Hoo, however. My mother managed to capture my gorgeous biking hair in the cave.....thanks, Mom.
One of many pictures of me with the men in my life. This one with my youngest brother Zachary. When, pray tell, did I become the shortest and wimpiest of the bunch?? I remember when my bark, although worse than my bite, was much bigger and taller than all my younger siblings. I can't believe how quickly we are all growing up. I expect that being the oldest. When I see it in my brothers' lives......it all feels too quick.

The Dingo Bit My Finger....

2010-07-09T16:37:00.002-06:00

So, being July in Idaho this year, it's finally spring. Seriously, the weather has been poo. However, we had a couple of beautiful days a couple of weeks ago and so I thought to myself "it is SOOOOO time to clean the windows." Because our house isn't a split level, our windows get hit with water. Any water....hence, hard water. My 3 hour project turned into 7 hours with all the scrubbing, rinsing, and re-scrubbing, all atop a ladder that isn't fit to be called a ladder.
As I was doing our windows on our french doors out to our patio, I worried that the cleaner might get into the little box where the baby kittens sleep. So like an idiot, I put my gloved hand in there to make sure there weren't in there, and if they were, to pull them out and let them run around whilst I worked. The one black one that was in there, thinking he was nearing death's door, crunched me a couple of times. I have learned that kittens have very strong jaws. And sharp teeth. And big gloved hands scare them. And wild kittens cause major infection 90% of the time. And I should listen to the 50 people who ordered me to get a tetanus shot. And shots aren't any more fun at 34 than they were at 4.
The little Offender.....
Little Offender's Family......playing follow the leader in the backyard with Baby Kung Fu.....
The beautiful Flax I have in my backyard.....I love it!
One of my favorite things about Declo....the sunsets are beautiful and go on forever. It helps to see these because there isn't ONE building to hide them. Maybe a tree, but that just adds to the photo.

With Darren working on his Masters program this summer, we've had very little vacation time. We knew that. I'm still a little disappointed as it is the only time he can take vacations. However, there are little adventures we'll take this summer, so we'll try and keep you posted. Or we'll make up stuff and post that. Either way. :o)

2010-06-22T12:24:00.002-06:00

The Complexities of Father's Day.....

2010-06-19T19:33:00.003-06:00

Somehow this year, I managed to forget that Father's Day was the very next Sunday after my birthday. I'm not sure where my brain is lately, but it dawned on me yesterday that I haven't sent anything. To my fathers, heap big apologies.
I realize that today, many people don't have just one father. Or maybe they just don't have one "dad". I don't know. Children's lives are filled with a "real" dad, a step-dad (at least one), a father-in-law, and then sometimes, if they are lucky.....a father figure who chooses to be a strengthening part of their lives.
I've always felt that the role of "Dad" in my life, came to me in parts. And I guess I know the ideal and yet if all of those parts love me, I'm eternally grateful for that. And they do.
I have a friend who has a profound relationship with her dad. Whenever we would hang out together, or today when I read her blogs, I feel a sense of longing for her experience. I am also grateful for those who chose to be part of my world because they wanted to be. And that is plenty and to spare.
One of the many things I love about my father-in-law is inability to judge others along with his ability to take anyone in stride. He's steady. He's gentle. He's available. I have yet to hear him tear down another human being, in person or in conversation. He seems to find the best in people or waits until it appears. I am sure he did this with me. This is not to say we haven't had to work through some things or that at times we've had to find our own place together, but there have been many times I have been more than unfair. I love you, Dad. Thank you for the gift of you. My parents surprised me with an iTouch this year for my birthday. It isn't something I had really ever considered. My Dad picked it out, after some guidance from my mother (who is so good at knowing what I might like). My Dad loves Glenn Beck. I love to make fun of him for loving Glenn Beck. I love to make kissing sounds when Glenn is on, ask my Dad how he envisions his wedding day with Glenn, tease him that I accidentally deleted the recording of Glenn's show while he was at work, and on and on. For Father's Day this year, my brother and I went in on a Glenn Beck shirt for him. Not much tickles him, but this did.
As I thought about a man that would willing adopt a child that isn't his, and whom he is barely getting to know, I am grateful for him more each year. I have to sometimes remember a day when life felt more unsettling and worrisome. It feels constant now, especially pertaining to him. I've never seen him upset, he never raises his voice, he always has an arm to put around me, and even amidst some serious health trials, manages to maintain a patient attitude and a humorous outlook on life. I love you, Dad. And so does Glenn. :) I can't acknowledge tomorrow without a post for my uncle. My mother's sister's husband, mind you. Uncle by marriage and being the one consistent priesthood holder in my life. My uncle Bill has been a part of my life from the beginning, but he's been a constant part of all those rites of passage in church life. He baptised me, he was with me my first time through the temple, he was there was I was married and was ready to be a witness should my dad's health prevent him from being at the temple. Throughout my life, the constant was Grandpa Snow and Bill. Grandpa Snow passed away a few years ago and I felt a part of my history go with him.
I love my uncle Bill. I am so grateful for his influence and strength in my young life. Today, I am a better person because of the person he was for me. I love you Bill.

Plenty of Time for Thinking

2010-06-10T08:13:00.003-06:00

Darren is on a week-long "boys" training for work in Sun Valley this week, so I am a temporary widow or single again. Not sure. I always look forward to this week at the beginning of the summer. Although it is work, and they are in session most of the day, it's a chance to do a little guy bonding without wives in the way. The Church is very inclusive with wives and families, as they often tell us they don't just hire the men, they hire the wives as well. Some days, it really feels like another calling, but my husband most every day, loves to go to work. What a blessing to me to know he is happy in his chosen profession.

While Darren is gone I get a chance to really miss him. I get a lot of chores done that I have wanted to do. I also get a lot, a lot of thinking time. We've been married for over 11 years now and I am so grateful to be in a place in our relationship that we can truly be who we are, and truly "see" each other. It's nice to know another person so well, that often these days we are seconds behind each other in saying or feeling or doing the exact same thing. I appreciate anew someone who can handle themselves on their own, and yet, when we are together we make a terrific team.

Our lives are all about families. In the end, it's thing we care about and worry about most. Hopefully we feel that at the beginning too. And in the middle when everything seems to be going right and there isn't much "new" to expect. I like the middle. I like appreciating all Darren is and does, anew. We are born into our families of origin, and then we marry and are creators of our own families, and on and on. I realized that I am one person away from being alone in my family of creation. That truly increased my gratitude for this person I've chosen to be with for so long. I love you, Darren. To the size of Oliver and to the amount of driving we do, to the power of infinity.

This is us at Seminary graduation....obviously just before we were finished for the night. My poor hair was behaving like a 2 year old and I was a tired girl. But it was a very fun night. I love Seminary graduation.

Yes, another grass update.....sorry. The first mowing of our grass of the season. It has only been a year that this yard has been finished. Doesn't it look great?? Compare the before and after pictures. Seriously.....I can't believe I thought it would be so easy to put a yard in. We are now professionals. Here Darren is pictured with our mammoth tomatoes, but you can see there isn't a spot of grass anywhere outside the garden. I was careful to try and capture the best parts of our yard, not the frightening ones.

And this is our yard today.....I LOVE seeing green!Thank you, spring, for ever coming......everDarren and I were outside sitting on our Adirondack chairs enjoying the evening when he looked in this box my brother made for me and told me there was a new cat inside. Mind you, the few cats we get at our house, are so unbelievably wild they would not hang out to have Darren poking his head inside the box. I told him I saw all of them scatter when we came outside, but he swore up and down there was someone in there. As he started to gently put his hand in there, I nearly had a heart attack! "Darren, are you nuts??? You could get rabies, or cat leukemia, or infection, or your hand entirely chewed off....." so he ran to get the flashlight. As we very cautiously shine the light in, we see fur. Black fur with a spot of orange fur. Then we see movement. Then we see 2, no 3, no 5 legs?!?! What?!?!! We had 4 little kittens.....brand new, little kittens inside sleeping. I guess the 2 moms brought their kittens to our house to be safer. So CUTE!

2010-05-26T15:20:00.002-06:00

So, we get home from a few days in Idaho Falls. While we are there, we are blessed to enjoy about 5 hours of sunlight. Total. Grrrrrr.
While we are there, my sister and I gave my mother a weeded and newly planted corner flower bed, for Mother's Day. Yep, 2 weeks ago. We have been waiting for it to stop raining and SNOWING to get going on this project. Not happening yet. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
My brother Jake makes it home from Oklahoma after being gone for 5 months at boot camp and specialized training. He comes home with an eye infection and without glasses to wear plus the weather is yucky, so no motorcycling for the Sargent family. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Darren and I make it home to our house, just in time to miss protecting our newly planted veggie garden, from frost. So all our pepper plants AND tomato plants are dead. Frozen. Dead. It's the end of May, for Pete's sake. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
It's official....I've become a Mother Nature/weather Grouch.

Mother's Day....and the longest post, ever.

2010-05-09T15:55:00.011-06:00

I was reading a few days ago and the author, talking about her concerns in the world we live in, said, "It takes a village to raise a child, and most girls don't have a village." I pondered that and applied it to my own life. Who is in my village? On this Mother's Day, I want to thank those who have been my "village."
My mom, I'm sure, had serious questions about all things parental the day I became a teenager. Worry, stress, worry, hope, stress, arguing, hugging and everything that goes with that seems to go up on the negative side of the scale. Looking back, if you do it with any kind of responsibility and compassion, you realize that most everyone in your life, is doing the best they can. Or at least trying to. Even Mom. And maybe you really are "unreasonable" sometimes and a "pain in the rear" to parent some days. As we grow older, the gift of being older is wisdom, but the wisdom comes as we do our looking back with new eyes. With a new heart. As we apply all things sacred and hard and rewarding about being a mother. We feel grateful for Mom in all her colors and realize it is part of the tapestry of who she is. I told my mom, in jest of course, that all my siblings were just copying me. I'm the one who made her a mother (as I am the oldest). Although I was kidding, there is some truth to that. We've known each other the longest.....and that's a lot of "looking back" time.
I have a friend that I have now known for 20 years. She was about my age now when we first met. It has been quite awhile since we've visited. The last couple of years we have lived closer and been able to see each other a little more frequently. Often, as I look at this relationship especially, we don't realize the impact another life can have on our own, until it's gone. Part of that is the nature of staying in the moment, and part of that is being less aware or grateful in those moments. My friend was my first experience of safety and love outside my family circle. As I do a little looking back, I am amazed at those who make you part of their brood, even when you aren't theirs. I have always believed that family is what you make it, the rest is paperwork. A relationship, with the foundation primarily built of materials one would get at an ethics meeting, can't convey the depth of one human nurturing another. I've watched her get a Masters and then a Doctorate, have 4 children, be a fantastic mother to those children, be a wife who truly loves her husband, and a myriad of other things. I have come to love her solid foundation of self, and yet be open completely to another person's truth. She reminds me often that I should be grateful for my hair and my ultra white skin (yes, I don't know why either) and I covet her ability to hold her own in any crowd, see a different person in me than I see, cry with me when I tell her a tender story, and have us both laughing in another moment. I have been a collector of mothers....and she's a jewel in that collection.
My aunt Catherine is one of those in my village that I now believe would have kidnapped me, dyed my corn silk baby hair black, and kept me for herself, if not for the unfailing love she has for my mother. I look back through baby pictures and there are A LOT of Cath holding me, and I know she really enjoyed me. I see a lot of myself in my aunt. In both my aunts, but particularly Cath. We both deal with bad headaches sometimes. Hers are migraines. We both have the same 2 teeth baby teeth that don't have permanent teeth below. We both have a unique sense of humor and find funny things in all kinds of strange places. We both love water (as do many in my family) and animals, and rooting for the underdog. We both hit rage if we see anyone being unkind to animals, babies, or old people. If we see a man in a western movie get shot, we worry about the horse that tumbled not the bleeding guy in the show. Is that bad? Thank you for being a part of my village. I love you.
When I was about 16 or so, my cousin, who is 3 years younger than my mother, moved back to IF. It was a time of growth for many in my family. My Dad was battling Chrones disease on and off for years and the couple of years before her move, it was scary bad. I honestly thought we would lose him. I found myself on this ledge-like feeling in my life. I felt overwhelmed and tired. So tired. I remember how very gently and kind of sneaky, she helped coach me back. As I look back on that time, I often am fascinated by who would think to notice me and who would know I needed some support. People who don't "have to" love you, but choose to. I do not believe in accidents, so I know I was born into the family I was for many reasons.....but I also know many were put on my path as one would toss flowers along your way, simply because something greater than you, knew you needed that gift. Thank you for being such a pretty pink flower on my path.
I have 2 nieces (actually 1st cousins once removed, but who wants to say that each time??? "Niece" is easier) who are 15 and almost 11. Although not mother figures, they are definitely an intimate and deep stronghold of my village. I've been granted many blessings in the lives of these 2 nieces. Namely, seeing one come into this world, and getting to be part of their lives from the very beginning. They are very different from each other, and so it has made me learn double what I would've otherwise. They are beautiful inside and out. They are grounded in who they are and positive energy wherever they go. They are funny, oh so funny, and came into my life when I was old enough to appreciate what it was like to have access to an infant whenever I wanted it. I wish I would have appreciated that more. I now look at them and they are young women, not really even children anymore. I think we really expect people to stay the same. I realized that would be sad. We aren't meant to slug around this world, we are meant to grow. So, we have to let-go and enjoy babies becoming women, people making changes in their own lives that might affect our relationship with them. I am humbled by the mothers they will be. By the young women they are becoming.
When I was began dating I knew whomever I would marry I would also be marrying his family. I watched family after family be torn apart and never repaired because they couldn't make it work with the "in-laws." I guess there wouldn't be so many jokes about it if there wasn't some major truth to it. I knew I needed to have a different experience. I really, really wanted to love my in-laws. I met Darren's dad first, as he was the Bishop of my new ward in Utah. I noticed 2 things.....how he always looked you in the eye, and how genuine he seemed. When I finally met Darren, I knew his parents and his brother well. Not long after we were married, his mom and I were having a conversation about our families and we noticed a similar name. After a little research we found out where we were related. So really, we were family already. :o) Although we have had to work through our share of in-law struggles, I have great love and respect for Darren's family. I am grateful his Mom has been part of my village. I am a better cook because of her. She's so fun to tease because she has an absolutely contagious laugh. His mom would sell you on Ebay to get to your baby because of her great gift to nurture. Although our roles with her are different than other relationships in her world as we don't need her to take us to Dr appointments, or clean our house, or make our dinner, or tend our kids.......we love and appreciate the authentic and genuine person she is. One who is an important part of our lives. Not for what she can do for us, but for the beautiful threads she brings to our tapestry.

Happy Birthday, Cecile

2010-05-09T11:51:00.005-06:00

I am very behind in my blogging efforts.......to catch up, a birthday blog.
Cecile is one of my oldest and dearest friends. I think it's safe to assume that she won't murder me for posting mostly camping pictures, but when we did anything else, neither of us remembered a camera. I think the bravest test of friendship is looking horrible in pictures and loving every minute of it because of who is in that picture with you.
I'm pretty sure she had a secret staff of salon elves somewhere in her tent, because I actually LOOK like I'm camping. This one is the summer before I left for Washington, DC. It was tradition for us to get a picture together by the cabins before we left. Although the quality of this picture is horrible, thanks to my old 110 film, the message in it is clear. I was at home here. Both in the mountains and with Cecile's arm around me. For someone so sweet, with such a love of the gospel and a true and deep relationship with her Savior, all of which changed my life......she's also one of the most hilarious people I've ever met. This photo was taken in the same exact place, the summer after I returned from DC. I was only home for 3 or so months before moving again to Bountiful. I think Cecile was the camp director and I her camp assitant, whatever that means. I think it's a calling created by her to get me up to Darby to torture me while there. Every. single. year. of camp, fell on the week of my birthday. Cecile came up with new ways to celebrate. One year, she put little treats all over my sleeping bag, and totally unbeknownst to me....pine cones IN my sleeping bag. So you get all warm by the fire, run to get into bed, to find you aren't alone. I believe I had helpers duct taping her in the cabin. This would be the only evidence that she was camping.....the monster fire she had going, and the famous, Brady Bunch 70's Jacket. It isn't camaflouge.....not even close, in case you are wondering. I am smiling way too big in this but of course, Cecile made a comment here, which made laugh, right when Darren took the picture, while she sits there looking angelic. Completely misleading. Some times we live our lives by working, teaching, cooking, cleaning, moving, etc....and many times we look back and think " where did the time go" quickly followed by "where have I made a difference." Or sometimes we look at our lives today and realize where we are on our journey and feel profoundly grateful for the blessings that surround us and the people that love us and the trials we've triumphed. But sometimes in looking at today, we forget the people that picked us up when we were down, dusted us off, looked us in the eye, voiced their love, and walked awhile with us. It's important to let them know, and to say thank you. So, Cecile....thank you.

Favorite Movie Clips

2010-04-26T19:57:00.002-06:00

One of my favorite parts of Sleepless.......men, gotta love them.

Fort Jackson, South Carolina

2010-04-19T20:50:00.003-06:00

Sorry about the song quality.....I couldn't get it clearer after 4 attempts.

My 2nd to youngest brother, Jake, graduated from boot camp this last weekend. This is a minute of family time before he was shipped to Oklahoma for another few months of specialized training. I'm ready to have him home, but so proud of him. Of all my siblings, he's the most shy, the definate homebody, and other than me at this age, no one in my family have ever ventured this far from Idaho. Jake went to South Carolina and I went to DC.....something about adventure in your twenties.

Easter...One of My Favorite Things....

2010-04-05T08:24:00.006-06:00

*This is a favorite piece of art for me. There aren't many artists who can capture what I feel the Savior looks like. This is closer. But more so, the emotion that Mary is feeling is captured so well in this piece. I believe she had a strong testimony of Jesus' teachings, as did others. How exactly all of this would come to pass, she didn't know. There wasn't a history ever taught on resurrected beings before now. He was the first. The thought that her Lord was in fact gone, and perhaps his body stolen, would create emotion as we see here, I believe.

*In the scriptures, it tells us that at first, she believes him to be the gardener. He must have looked as his physical body looked, but something about him in this new "phase" was unfamiliar to her. It wasn't until He said her name, that she knew who He was. Something in the way He said it, or her memory of that gentle, loving voice uttering her name....was familiar. I absolutely love that. There is a powerful lesson there in knowing the Master's voice and knowing that He knows each of us intimately, by name.

*I also loved having General Conference land on Easter Sunday this year. This doesn't always happen and this year I felt the power of that Easter morning and all that it means for mankind, a little differently this year. It is interesting to me what each person comes away with. When Darren and I were talking, he mentioned that there seemed to be a few talks on duty. I remember one. But I heard many talks on the importance of the nurturing gift of women. As I have walked this short path of life, it seems to me that an non-nurturing environment is more damaging to grow up in, than half of the calamities and iniquities a people can inflict on each other. I believe we underestimate the power of a nurturer. And we forget how important it is, as women, that we nurture each other.

*One of my favorite one-liners from Conference came from one of the Seventy, Elder Foster, and he said, "A distraction does not have to be evil, to be effective."

*On a secular side......I love the promise of spring, baby anything (kittens, bunnies, chicks, etc), pastel colors, blossoms on the trees, egg hunts, Easter treats, and dinner with family. I think it funny that to celebrate a holiday the Jewish population does not recognize......we serve ham. :o)

General Petraeus Visits BYU

2010-03-26T19:55:00.002-06:00

Our 4 star General who is serving in Iraq, decided to accept a visiting/speaking assignment at BYU. To open, he listed 10 reasons that BYU graduates make good soldiers. It's quite funny!

10--They have already been on many a mission
9--Army chow is no problem for folks accustomed to eating green Jell-o and shredded carrots
8--It's not a problem if they don't know what rank someone is, they just refer to them as Brother or Sister so-and-so
They never go AWOL. They just call it being less active
6--The will seize any objective swiftly if you tell them refreshments will be served
5--They know how to make things happen. In fact, if you ever need a base built quickly in a barren wasteland, stride out to where you want them to start, plant your walking stick down and say in a loud voice, "This is the place."
4--They have innovative ideas for handling insurgents--like assigning them home teachers
3--They always have a years' supply of provisions on hand
2--They are the world's most reliable designated drivers
1--The understand how far Iraq has come over the last seven years, and they think that Iraq's old spot in the "Axis of Evil" can now be filled by the University of Utah.

Pretty clever from a 4 star general who has probably seen his share of iniquity and tragedy. Just a funny for your day! :o)

My Sister & I As Official Midwives.....

2010-03-20T20:50:00.004-06:00

Amber, my sister, calls my mom and I to head over to her apartment because she has a pregnant mother cat, who's water just broke. Of course, the pull of seeing brand new baby kittens was too much. Mama Minerva (since we couldn't come up with a better name very quickly) was happy to have a little tummy massage while in labor. She purred the entire time.After way too long, and one kitten that didn't make it, she managed to issue 5 other live kittens! Two grey, two black, and one very striped baby who looks a lot like mama. In this picture you can see 3 of the 5. The other two were sleeping under her chin and one of her arms.

I couldn't help but check on them every other minute and I really couldn't help but holding them every chance I got. This one is with little stripey..... With one of the little black ones......who boobed and cried the ENTIRE time I held him.........and then one of the little grey ones.....

Don't laugh at my hair in these last two.....I had just had it cut and there wasn't time for styling. I was on kitten detail.

The Warm Fuzzies of Fun Memories

2010-03-10T18:46:00.003-07:00

Some photos taken over the course of last year. Trips, activities, and people that I love. Not tons of Darren or I and none of us together. Next post, I promise.

Not funny....not funny

2010-03-09T21:40:00.004-07:00

So, Mother Nature made a hypocrite out of me and a mockery of my last post. I woke up this morning to at least 1 1/2 feet of snow outside. Seriously???

There's A Rumor.....

2010-03-01T14:40:00.002-07:00

.....that spring is coming. Evidence of sunshine is all around outside today. Dare we hope? Are we ready for yard work? Fresh grown veggies? And of course, hummingbirds? Um, I am! March 1st is a great day for sunshine......of course, so is every other day. :o)

February, I think.....

2010-02-16T10:12:00.005-07:00

One of the sweetest things my Valentine did for me this year, was opt not to buy something that wasn't quite within what we had budgeted for. There really isn't much out there that has monetary value that Darren or I obsess about. We live pretty simple, content lives and are grateful for that. But instead of trying to impress me with "things", I felt impressed and grateful that he took me to dinner, took me to feed the ducks down by the river, and just knowing he was thinking of me, made me grateful for such a sweet Valentine. It might not seem very romantic, but a sweet man that will take care of you by looking out for the "long run", is VERY romantic.
So, we were in IF for Valentine's Day and luckily we never eat out. We live in Declo. Yeah. We opted for something fun and sensible and so we headed over to Applebees. One of the bothersome things about Applebees is they are CONSTANTLY changing their menu. One of the bonuses is, they are constantly changing their menu. I opted to try something new. Not out of bravery, out of desperation when I realized my stand-by wasn't on the menu anymore. I chose the spinach & shrimp salad with a bacon vinaigrette. Three words. To. Die. For. Generally, those words are reserved for family and country, but in this case, it's true. So good!

On the downside.....my Aunt Catherine had to put her Pomeranian, Annie, to sleep a week ago. Annie was about 13 and suffering from kidney failure. This is the 5th of the Poms my aunt has had through the years (not all at the same time) and felt particularly hard for all of us. Pets truly become part of the family.....if you are doing it right. Annie, at her heaviest, was about 3 pounds, so she was a fun little thing to travel with and pack around. She's a cute little thing and hopefully feeling better and happier running around dog heaven with Tajj, Espree, Honey, and Dove. Today I am grateful for all the little critters that make life just a little more fun.

I Never Know How To Title A Post

2010-02-01T16:11:00.005-07:00

Do you like it? Really, unless it's an obvious post about Christmas or a trip we've taken. In January and February, and well, every other month it's just kind of random journaling.....thus the title problem.

UPDATE:

*We put my little brother, Jake, on a plane bound for South Carolina for boot camp at Fort Jackson. Jake's only been to Boise in the last few weeks. Holy cow. Is it possible to be so proud of him for being brave and so sad that childhood was over long before I realized it? Being the oldest it's been a stark realization that my family, my siblings, are all adults now. I don't know how Moms do it. I miss you already, Jake.

I had a little experience this week that was frightening for me. I am grateful that in my old age, I appreciate the varieties of people in my world. And I have quite a bit variety. Having family that empowers you to be a better and stronger you, and oft times sees much deeper into the chasm of strength that lies within each of us, is a gift and a blessing. Each new experience helps me understand another layer as to why the family is of central importance to our Heavenly Father. For these 2 people, I am very grateful. Lastly, I miss this place. It's actually my grandparents place out on the Snake River in Idaho Falls. I miss their house, I miss them, but I miss living near family. It's been 15 years since I lived in the town I grew up in. I'd like do-overs. Not forever, but for a season. It's such an important bonding experience to move away from home and especially to have your own household, just the two of you, when you are newly married. Now that we are old hat at this :o) (11 years in May), I'd like to be more of a ready support to my family. Can anyone arrange that? :o)

Bleh....it was inevitable

2010-01-19T12:28:00.003-07:00

Um, January.....in Idaho.....in a town with 340 people.....with wind.......rain.....wind....drizzle......wind.....post holiday clean-up......wind.....you get the picture, right? I think I need a little vitamin boost and a trip somewhere fun. January is the start of a new year, which should be exciting. It's also the beginning of resolutions and tax season coming up. Wow. Really, that just feels like more wind.
My darling little brother, who is 22 and not so little anymore, heads off to boot camp in one week. One week. Sigh. So good for him, but not fair he is going somewhere less windy and warmer, and I will miss him too much to think about.
On the upside, my Grandma Snow, my mother's mother, turned 92 on the 12th. I can see the wisdom, if you actually have it within your power, to have a baby in January. It definitely gives you something to look forward to that doesn't include w-i-n-d.
What do you get for someone who has probably owned anything twice in her lifetime? I decided to enroll her in Jennz Meal of the Month Club. So every month I am in IF, I will make her something homemade and yummy for dinner, complete with a visit. It's really a win-win. I might have done it to get a little time with Grandma, but that's a win-win too, I hope.
I need a book list......something that doesn't have "wind" in the title.....and doesn't take place in the dunes of the Arctic. Quickly. Cabin fever is the leading cause of death in Declo. Okay, maybe not. Maybe just at our house. ;o)

New Year's Weekend 2010

2010-01-04T11:49:00.006-07:00

As part of his campaign for "it hurts my face to shave everyday even though I've been doing it for 15 years" Darren likes to not shave over Christmas break. It gives his poor sensitive skin a break and that is always nice. He's good about keeping it trimmed and looking clean
and we have a tradition to document the end results just before they end up in the drain.
Here is the before photo..... sorry about the nostril shot. I took it sitting down.This is the half way mark...... Darren's facial whiskers remind me of a bag of skittles. He literally has almost every color in his beard. So funny!

In Idaho Falls, while visiting with my family over New Year's, we woke up to this. Isn't it beautiful? It was disappointing to come home to Declo and find that it looks like a nuclear site.....a little crusty snow and bunches of dead sagebrush. I do love a heavy snowstorm!

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and a fun New Year. I am convinced that 2010 will bring about some good news, some changes for good, and some unexpected blessings for all of us.

Let's be on the look out! Our love to each of you.

Christmas 2009

2009-12-30T08:38:00.010-07:00

This year was our Utah year. Although is is important to gather with family and to take turns, I think we are getting to a stage in our lives where it is becoming fun to stay home too. We might think about that in the coming years, but this year was A Wasatch Mountain Christmas.
In this picture of Mom and Elphie, I managed to get it right when Elphie is thinking, "See? I am so cute, I knew we would be friends. Let me lay on your lap." Mom....the smile is deceiving.....she is thinking "Get. Off. Me. Now. Don't make me throw you into space with witnesses in the room." She's a good sport. Mom, I mean. :o)

We spent the week with Darren's parents at their house. Darren's mom is a terrific hostess and was very patient with 2 more people in her house and 2 instant pets. Yes, we brought Oliver and Elphie. They were actually on their best behavior all week until the very last day. By then we think they were getting just a little too comfortable. You have to love the picture of Oliver trying to play the game Dad and Darren are playing and Elphie and Oliver just chillin' with the boys. It's funny to watch them.

Other than not joining them for games one evening and going with Darren's brother and sister in law to dinner or when we didn't go to RS & Priesthood and came home to get dinner started, things went pretty smoothly. One of the two snuggling, and the other is Elphie at our home perched like a prairie dog on the heater watching me make toffee. So funny.

I am grateful for Darren's family for many reasons but this year I noticed how different each sibling is from the others. They all have the foundation of kindess and fun and positive attitudes. I love that. But it's some of their uniqueness I noticed this year and I am grateful that I have such a good relationship with my in-laws.

A few photos from the Christmas Party.....My darling BIL Trev, and my SIL, Bonnie. Then a picture of 4 grandsons hovered around something fun. If you look close you can see the very top of Chani's baby girl Claire on the left. And cute Darren with his Christmas Break facial hair.
We did the Lotz Family Christmas Eve party.......which is akin to walking through a fireworks factory whilst lighting a match. It's very loud, it's very intense, and oft times there are casualties. However, it's a fun show for all, and that's good too.

One night we noticed that the temple has snow clouds that were descneding on it and making the lights on the temple, adding to the etheral look while it glowed. We ran back for my camera and missed the best shots, but here's a taste. It was so cool!
Christmas morning......we got going quite late and it sounded like that was a common theme with a lot of families this year. It was nice albeit quiet. A little too quiet for me. Darren's Dad got an iPod this year and Oliver got a few kitten treats from Aunt Catherine. What a lucky kitty.

It's almost 2010....Resolution Time. Maybe I should resolve to be a better blogger? :o) I'll make the list and get back to you.

My Favorite Treat(s) This December

2009-12-11T13:12:00.005-07:00

Mmmmmmmm.....can you tell what it is?*I have always liked pomegranates, but this year they are particularly yummy. It's been my one vice........a fruit as a vice, you are thinking. Yep. They are $3.00 a piece! Unless you get a smaller, withered looking one, which are in abundance in Burley. Then they are only $2.50 a piece. So good, I have a hard time sharing. :o)

*I haven't had much hot chocolate in the last few years, just because it's usually just too sweet anymore. I like the flavors that Stephen's offers but it's much too rich for me. However, my naughty friend, Leslie, in Declo, shared this little gem. It's SO GOOD! If I manage to find it, I might have to have a little this winter.

....and then the Christmas music started to play.......

2009-11-30T10:01:00.010-07:00

We spent Thanksgiving in Idaho Falls with my family. For some reason, this year has flown by. It's December!?!?!? How did that happen?

I wish I had pictures of our Thanksgiving experience this year, but I didn't take one. Isn't that bad? Regardless, I had much to be thankful for and this time, you will have to r-e-a-d my post.

1st--Cooking For My Family

I had about 4 different orders for 'favorite things' to be had on Thanksgiving. I love that I have something to offer on the table when dinner begins. I am glad I like to cook. Luckily I am married to a man who makes it easy and likes most anything.

2nd--Visiting Another Ward

I attended Sacrament Meeting at a friend's ward the Sunday before Thanksgiving. Although I only knew a few people, I was pleasantly surprised when the choir number was Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing. My favorite hymn or in the top 3.

3rd--The Perfect Bite

Turkey, with mashed potatoes, and a little gravy........yum! I'm not a pumpkin pie fan, at all, but I love anything else pumpkin. What's wrong with me?

4th--The tree.....THE Tree

Darren and I braved Black Friday in an attempt to replace our Charlie Brown tree that died last year after 10 good years. It wasn't looking hopeful. Then we found one. I have been waiting for that 'feeling' of Christmas along with the joys of the holidays. I worried that without a tree, it wouldn't feel the same. Once we got it up and decorated and then lit on Monday (the Monday after Thanksgiving for FHE, a Lotz family tradition).....I sighed. Once the tree was lit and Darren put on our Il Divo Christmas CD (this is 5th) I breathed a sigh of relief. Christmas filled our home.

Thanksgiving.....Sigh

2009-11-18T14:05:00.006-07:00

Dear Thanksgiving,
I love, love, really love YOU. This really had nothing to do with the food component at all, as much as a how devoted you are to gratitude and beautiful colors. Colors that feed my soul. Ironically, with how crazy busy the last couple of months have been, I've neglected you. My goal was to focus better this year, and turn some of that gratitude into action, instead of just making lists of reasons I love you and the many ways you have been a blessing to me.
Years ago, when I was scared and alone in Washington DC, I chose to start a "journal" of a different kind. I decided that the best defense against the loneliness and homesickness was focusing on you. So I did. Each day I would write in my journal, something that I was thankful for. Truly Thankful. None of this lip service stuff. Since then, with Elder Eyring's suggestion, I have turned it into a book of "Noticing Ways the Lord Has Touched My Life Today" book. Mmmmmmm.....it has helped. I hope it will be instrumental in helping me be better. I've got much to work on and there are so many ways I fall short.......that's a long list, that one. But I'm longing to do it better. So, Thank You, Thanksgiving......for turkey, for pilgrims, for Indians, for peace, for love, for family, for forgiveness, for friends, for animals, for babies, for an education, for an America, for music, for laughter, and for you.
Your friend,
J
P.S. I don't know how I can eat one of these this year, now that I have seen one in person. They are so beautiful! Really, a glorious bird.

Unusual Places For Gratitude

2009-11-08T08:15:00.007-07:00

We've had a month and a half of unfortunate events and/or something that needed to be repaired. Although, in the moment, you want to implore the heavens and yank your hair out by the fist fulls, it's now becoming amusing and I'm feeling gratitude under some unconventional circumstances.

*A few weeks ago, after a run, I came in my house to get my water bottle. I take a long drink and realize, it's not that cold. After a few days of trying to figure out why the refrigerator is starting to feel more like a microwave, we realize that it's time to call the repair man. We bought this refrigerator new when we bought our house and we have loved it. It turns out that a little tiny box in the back, is not working, thus creating warm food. I am feeling grateful for a broken fridge, as it means that I have food to keep cold. I am also grateful to the repair man who had my fridge running like new.........after spending 10 minutes on it.
*I have a love/hate relationship with television. I can see the benefits of it, but when it becomes someone's sole purpose for living because "their show is on" I want to run back to 1850. Our satellite service (yes, we need service that is orbiting the planet because we live in the middle of nowhere) has been a continual problem for the last couple of weeks. I've been content to just keep the T.V. off most of the time. However, my husband wasn't too excited when all this happened over the Yankees/Phillies games. Today, I am grateful for things that make my life easier and for the day of technology we live in.......I'm also grateful when we gt a break from ALL of it.

*While I was tending my nieces in Utah, Darren calls me to tell me that the computer won't boot up. Of course it won't. Sigh. Nearly every time I am away from home for longer than a weekend, my computer seems to have a problem. Poor Darren. It's always on his watch. This time, it was just one too many power surges in a row from our lovely city of Declo. It completely fried the motherboard. Lovely. So, we have been looking at a new computer. As it is my connection to the outside world, I was a little frustrated......mostly at the repair guy who took a week just to look at it and tell me it was dead. I felt grateful, however, for the blessing of being connected to people I love, since we do not live close to our friends or families. I was also grateful to have a break from that technology too. I am additionally grateful for a sweet husband who works so hard to support us and makes it possible to get everything fixed.*Darren comes in the house one evening after we had come home from somewhere, to tell me that the tires on the car are nearly bald and need to be replaced. I looked at him with this incredulous look, all the while wondering "am I in my body and actually hearing this???" He was right. The additional bonus, was checking out what it would cost to replace 4 of them and realizing that it is about 3 times what it cost for our Honda. Grrrrrr. (Sound of hysterical laughter)....ominous music.....you get it. However, 4 tires later and $100 less that we thought it would be, I am very thankful for a dependable car. We are so dependant on our transportation where we live and I am thankful to have that worry removed.
*Our phone line, also has needed "fixing". It made me very grateful very fast for high speed internet and communication devices that help us "keep in touch". Pick up the phone and call someone. Not E.T. Just someone.

*I have felt strongly to try acupuncture. As a person who has pursued getting our babies here, there are tons of needles and shots that accompany that over a 10 year experience. It did not prepare me for this, as I had hoped. Nearly half of the needles they put in my body, hurt. Really hurt. A few days ago, I thought I was going to end up on the ceiling, but today I am very grateful to have "ears to hear" and feel the directions I should go. I have no idea what is on the other side, but I am hoping it is twins at this point. I am grateful for the medical profession and even more grateful to have other options available to me.

The Funniest Thing.....this week

2009-11-02T20:13:00.004-07:00

So, my niece Whitney comes home from school last week and procedes to tell me her 2 favorite Chuck Norris"isms". Evidentally, this is the new funny thing going around schools these days......and the adults that know them. Whitney's favorite of the week when I was there is below. I have also included some of the others that are so funny to me. Chuck Norris......wow.
*Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
*When Chuck Norris jumped into the lake, he didn't get wet. The lake got "Chuck Norrisd."
*Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried.
*Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
*It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes.
*There is no such thing as evolution. Just a list of species Chuck Norris has allowed to survive.
*Chuck Norris can set fire to ants with a magnifying glass. At night.
*Chuck Norris knows what Willis 'is talking about'.
*Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
*Bigfoot didn't believe in Chuck Norris. That was his first mistake.
*Never play a game of "Sorry" with Chuck Norris. It can only end in tears. Yours.
*Chuck Norris' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Marbles N' Gravel.
*Chuck Norris is Darth Vader's father.

My New Favorite Quote

2009-10-08T12:30:00.002-06:00

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving,
and tolerant of the weak..... because someday in your life, you will have been all of these.

Tending Nieces

2009-10-07T16:37:00.004-06:00

So, this week I am in Utah tending my nieces. Their parents, through Mike's work, have a trip each year and this year they are in Australia. Last year it was Greece & Italy, and the year before that, Scotland. Here are some fun pictures of their adventures.....
This year: The Opera House in Sydney
Santorini, Greece....
The Highlands of Scotland....where some of my ancestry is from
Makena Beach, Maui

I don't have any pictures of Ireland or some of the other cruises or trips they've been on through this buying group. However, the evidence displayed here begs just one question.......
What have I not hidden myself in one of their suitcases???!?!?

It's Official......

2009-10-01T07:10:00.008-06:00

It's October! Brrrrrrr! Freezing winds and rain last night, snow in IF, frostbitten tomatoes.....are you kidding me?!?! Where, pray tell, did autumn go. It's at the top of the pet peeves list when Mother Nature or WalMart completely skips over the autumn/Thanksgiving season. Not a happy girl about it. However, in October there is much to celebrate and many to celebrate. Happy Birthday to you, October birthday kids!

**Jake

My 2nd to youngest brother is a Halloween baby. This year we are planning to dress up as scary people and just hang around my aunt's yard for trick-or-treating. It's really more for the teenagers. We have a "no scaring litle children" policy that I strictly enforce. Halloween has never been my mother's favorite holiday, so I am sure she had a baby on that day to have a reason to love it. We do enjoy celebrating Jake. I love you Jacob!

**ZacharyMy youngest brother was born almost exactly 4 years later to the day. His brithday is on the 28th of October. Zach is officially the tallest of all his siblings. He turns 18 this year and is a senior and it is very odd that I will have all adult siblings. There are 15+ years between Zach and I and somehow I have parental feelings for he and Jake. Well, for all my siblings but particularly them. I adore my brothers and I am grateful for their many gifts and goodnesses.

**Camille

Darren's oldest sister, my sister in law. How to describe Camille......let me see. She's confidant, she's cheerful, she's very funny (especially if she has to pay more for Desitin than she wants to), she has beautiful eyes, she walks faster than anyone I know (when we used to exercise together), she's the BEST Mom ever. It was Camille's counsel that helped us decide to try adoption. I've always been the oldest and once I got married, it was nice to have a big sister. I love you Mille.

**MasonOne of our favorite nephews. The oldest son of Darren's youngest brother. He's beautiful to look at and delightful to be around. Since he was born we've had a unique connection to Mason and it's naughty that they live in Montana and we live in Idaho. However, we love little Mason and how gentle and sweet he is. Happy Birthday, sweetheart!

**Megan

My niece Megan will turn 11. When did this happen?!?? I saw that little girl come into this world and now she's a year away from being in Young Women's? Have I been married that long? I see myself in Megan, except her favorite color is blue and mine is not. She has the biggest, bluest eyes of anyone I know. She has perfect skin. She loves to play soccer and she's really good. Most of her friends are boys. Her feelings on dolls.......bleh. :o) Happy Birthday, Meggie. We sure love you!

**Carol Davetta

A dear friend of our family who has been part of it so long, she's become part of it. Carol can read, like 3 books a week. Normal size books. She's a master gardener, a chef, queen of tapioca pudding, loves the English as much as I do, and very, very funny. We can get laughing at things and have a hard time stopping. Way to join the fam, Carol. You can charge us for any therapy later. :o)

Warm Fuzzies

2009-09-27T17:47:00.005-06:00

**RS General Broadcast

I went to the Broadcast last evening and sat there feeling very grateful to belong to an organization that honors womanhood. There is much in our world, and many in it, trying to diminish the role of woman. I am grateful for these two people particularly. One who honors womanhood as dearly as the Priesthood he holds, and one who wants women everywhere to obtain all the blessings possible. In doing that, she expects us to step to the plate.....and is often criticized for it. My feelings on the subject........go Julie!

**Two Cute Friends

Not realizing that the Broadcast was last night, I was in a rush to make it on time. That afternoon I had 2 of my friends from Declo call to remind me and willing to save me a seat when I got there. It is such a gift to have GOOD friends.....and such a gift that even as a grown woman, they are still watching out for me. What a gift to be remembered.

**My Parents

My Mom and Dad are celebrating their anniversary today.......mind you, it's the day before my mother's birthday. Interesting planning you two! I married a man similar to my Dad. My parents are easy to be around, fun to be with, and fit like two pieces in a puzzle. I love them both, dearly.

**Teaching Relief Society

I actually taught last week and as I attended RS today and listened to another friend give her lesson, I was warmed all over for the women in my ward. The row of Grandmas that have much life experience and who's philosophy is often "get over it and do your part and the Lord will help you." It's so fun. Another friend there is buckets of sunshine every time I see her. Another one who is in a wheelchair with MS and has a handicapped son, who reminds me to be grateful and to remember not to whine. Relief Society wasn't something I watched the women in my family embrace much, and although I am still learning, I am grateful for it's place in my life.

Ahhhhh, My Favorite Things

2009-09-21T14:26:00.004-06:00

*My Running Shoes

My sweetheart bought these for me for my birthday this summer and it is heaven to have the support of new shoes. I love them. I also feel like I'm part of the future with the cool little purple sole bubbles on them. I went running this morning and I was free of any soreness that often accompanies feet in shoes that died long ago.

*VisitsI was blessed to have my cousin Leslie come and stay the weekend at my house. We watched movies, went to dinner, talked and talked, laughed and laughed, played with my cats, and went for a walk around Declo. Nothing spectacular or monumental, but extremely important to me. I am grateful for a relationship as this is, that allows us to grow together, to talk anything and everything through, where being together is second skin, one that is very nurturing, and never one I have to worry about. I love you Leslie.

*My Ward

I have some unique friends in Declo......nearly all of these ladies are older than I am, some by about 15 years. This is not unique to me, but something I love. I watch Julie be such an amazing and funny mom with 4 little ones. I watch Terina be fiercely loyal not only to me but to all of her friends. I am grateful for Sandy and how absolutely funny and fun she is. She's never towing a rain cloud around. For Laura and her kind heart and sterling example of love of the Gospel. For Evelyn, who is grandmother to the entire ward. And to my very dear friend, Leslie, the girl from the land of the Maple leaves.......the near perfect example of the kind of friend I hope to be someday.

*Cucumbers

Home grown, garden fresh, green vegetables from heaven. I LOVE home grown cucumbers. I can and have been eating 2 or so in a setting. Not as good for my tummy, but oh so good for my taste buds. There will be a very big "sigh" when harvesting out of our garden is over for the season. Winter??? Bllllrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhh!!

Taming My Hummingbirds

2009-09-14T13:58:00.004-06:00

Watch closely.......Darren is video taping me, through our glass door, holding our hummingbird feeder. I found that there were quite a few birds who were brave enough to come and eat. I just ADORE hummingbirds.

Ahhhh, Big Sky Country

2009-09-08T10:01:00.006-06:00

After Bear Lake, in August, I was lucky enough to head to Idaho Falls for some super-fun Dr appointments. Not feeling great afterward, I took my sweet cousin Teresa up on her offer to come to her house. Teresa lives in Bozeman, Montana and I have yet to come to her house. Usually we get time together when we are in IF or in Bear Lake. Not quite enough time for me this summer, so I headed to Montana. It's a beautiful, BEAUTIFUL drive. Heading north from IF you pass the Tetons, then up through Island Park area, Henry's Lake, and then the gorgeous Gallatin Canyon. It was raining on the way up there, but it just made the mountains seem more majestic. Next time, I'll get some sunny pictures. Thank you, Teresa, for a little R&R at your house. I love Montana.....it's amazing on the way to Bozeman.There are only 4 granddaughters on my mother's side. My sister, me, my cousin Leslie, and my cousin Teresa (Leslie's sister). So I feel VERY grateful when we get a minute to play together. Why does Montana have to be so far away???
I am the biggest sucker for water and mountains.....but especially water. The Gallatin River is beautiful all the way through the canyon.
Majestic even when it's a little drizzle......what a wonderful world we live in.
Annnnnd, I was there the same time President Obama was visiting Big Sky. It was very cool to hear the choppers carrying the President fly right over Teresa's house. I've not heard anything that loud in a long, long time.

Why My Cats Are Mentally Ill

2009-09-04T10:55:00.004-06:00

This is a video I took last week, of Oliver in my chair....... He makes me laugh often with all these bizarre poses he sleeps in. This is just one of the many. So funny to me.

Friends

2009-08-28T13:15:00.003-06:00

So, my next lesson to teach in Relief Society is on friendship. As you think about your closest and dearest friends, what are some of the adjectives that describe their personalities or character? I am making a list of the important ingredients of friendship, so go ahead......let me know!

My Favorite Things.......this week

2009-08-27T18:21:00.002-06:00

*My Sunglasses
Part of having LASIK surgery, is the absolute importance of sunglasses when you are outside. I have a pair stashed all over. Two in the car, one in my purse, 3 in the house, one in Darren's car......it's essential. The sun is way too bright after LASIK. The other bonus, is I LOVE to people watch. Love it. However, most people don't understand my joy when they are the ones being watched. Wearing dark glasses allows you to watch people, without them knowing you are watching them. See? This way, everyone wins!

*My Husband's Sense of Humor
We are at the Dr. on Tuesday for the upteenth time this year......As I'm laying there feeling a little anxious and a lot tired and uncomfortable, Darren makes this witty comment about helping ourselves to some of the items in the room we are in. We got laughing so hard, I am sure the nurses thought we were nuts. At least nuts. You'd never expect that from my husband and I am so grateful for his comic relief. It's delightful.

*My Oliver & Elphie
We had 2 of the wild kittens we feed, die unexpectedly this week. Although I know it's part of life, especially when you are wild, it is NOT my favorite part. So as I am burying these 2 little kittens I see my own kitties looking out the window at me and I feel grateful for 2 little furry balls of fun and love.....and I feel thankful for tender mercies.

*Tapioca Pudding
Or fish eyes and glue, as my Dad would say. Because my naughty aunt got me started on the stuff, I can't stop eating it. I make it as low fat as possible, so that's good but I am definitely in addiction mode. That can't be good, right? I go through these phases, and right now, it's definitely tapioca pudding. What phase are you in?

*Joven Musk & Donna Karan Cashmere perfume
One is inexpensive, one not so much......I love them both. I love to smell them as I am doing laundry from a previous day I had sprayed some. I love it on other people, which isn't unusual.....oft times it's finding a fragrance that you like with your own chemistry, that isn't too overpowering and that you don't tire of easily.

The Joy of Bear Lake

2009-08-23T18:55:00.012-06:00

One of my very favorite vacations, is the trip to Bear Lake. A week full of waterskiing, Jestskiing, knee boarding, wake boarding, miniature golfing, getting sunburnt, and enjoying my cousins. These are cousins that feel more like siblings than anything, and I love it. The weather wasn't the greatest last week, but the water was still beautiful! I adore Bear Lake, and I adore those that we are blessed to spend time with.

Happy Birthday President Monson

2009-08-21T09:56:00.007-06:00

Even though we all knew it was coming, it was a difficult transition for me after President Hinckley died. Not because he was, as for some, the only Prophet they had ever known but because he felt so sincere, so accessible. His ability to laugh and be so happy, is such a trademark of President Hinckley.
Although he was ordained to the Quorum of the Twelve at such a young age (36) it has been interesting to watch President Monson take on the mantle of Prophet. At his first news conference with the newly organized 1st Presidency, he seemed tired and distracted and I can only imagine the weight of the mantle he now carried. It has been inspiring to me to see him feel the weight of what the Lord has asked of him, and to see him jump in with both feet.....willingly.
I am grateful for a Prophet who loves the Lord, who loves His people, and who knows how very interesting it can be to live today. To the sweet man who loves the color yellow, going to a jazz game (see below--I think Sister Monson was rooting for the Lakers), eating at Little America, adores chocolate, and reminds me of Telly Monster on Sesame Street, Happy 82nd Birthday! We love you!
A tender moment with a Conference attendeeHis first news conference with his newly called counselors (probably laughing at all the sleepless nights they've all shared)

Happy, Happy Late Birthday, Darren

2009-08-18T09:38:00.011-06:00

As Darren and I both have summer birthdays, we are often not home or sometimes together for our birthdays. When you are having birthdays in your 30's though, that is just fine. It's often a fun change to see where you'll spend your birthday THAT year. This year over Darren's birthday, we went to Boise for a work conference, then came directly to Bear Lake for a few days to water ski, knee-board, Jetski, etc.....then directly from there, to Idaho Falls. I had a couple of Dr appointments and Darren had a dentist appointment, then directly from there to Bozeman, Montana to visit my cousin Teresa (since I haven't been up there since they moved there 7 years ago) and then back to IF, and then home last night. I am so tired of being in a car......however, this is why Darren's birthday tribute, is so very late.

So here's to you Darren......and few fun facts about this man I love.

*Darren has beautiful, kind eyes. Sometimes they look blue, sometimes more green

*Darren is very funny. We were at a meeting awhile back where they were trying to train some people on how to use the Church's software for family history. The woman giving the presentation talked about the problems with duplicating baptisms or endowment work and said that when her mother died both she and a cousin took her mother's name through the temple. Darren leans over to me and whispers, "Does she have to wear 2 pair of garments now?" I burst out laughing, right in the middle of the meeting. Not good. :o)

*Darren is very good to my friendsAlthough "my" friends often become "our" friends, I am grateful he is always kind and good to them. He is always supportive if I need a "friend" moment. I do make it easy, though, as I choose well in the friend department. :o)
*Darren knows his scriptures--down to what each chapter contains

*He loves the Gospel

*He served a mission to Panama

*He has 5 kids in his family, 2 girls at the beginning followed by 3 boys, just like my family

*He likes the outdoors*He is a double digit this year......33

*He loves our kitties as much as I do---This is big, since he has been a self-proclaimed cat avoider. He often gets up at night to come out and get Oliver if Oliver isn't in bed with us.

*He supports me, even when he doesn't agree or understand

*He takes great care of our yard

*He gives the BEST back scratches

*He often says "give me strength" to the heavens when I'm teasing him and he's ready to pound me

*He is loving and good to my family

*He is active in his relationship with my nieces

*He has joined me in becoming a runner

*Darren's first words when I am cleaning, making dinner, paying bills, working in the yard, anything......are always "how can I help?"

*His middle name is Brad......not Bradley, not a family name, Brad.

*He loves ice cream

*He loves sports--but often talks to the T.V. to convey his annoyance to an athlete with less than desirable behavior

*He's determined to get through Les Miserables--I insisted he read the unabridged version to get the full effect

*He's an upbeat and fun person

*He looks good with a few days facial hair.....even though he can't wear it with his job, and even though most men can't pull it off and not look sloppy. However, I love that he prefers to be clean shaven.

*Last but not least, I love him. He's taught me much, he's open to new ideas and learning, he's gentle, he's fun, he makes us as a couple really look good, and I really can't imagine life without him. I love you, sweetheart.

Favorite Things From Our House.....

2009-08-02T20:36:00.007-06:00

Yes, I've been a delinquent blogger......it's summer. Even if you don't have a life, it's busy somehow. Here are some of my favorite things from our yard this year....
These are my Leslie Day Lilies.....well, they are just daylilies, but my cousin Leslie is such a fan of pink, that everytime I see these I think of her.

Our walkway up to our front door. I love how the grass has grown so well in between the stones. It makes me feel like we live in a cottage in Switzerland or something. :o)
The HUGE monarch butterflies we have this year. I've not seen Monarchs this large in years and never at our house. It's the grass. I'm sure of it.....so neat!So, I walk outside with my camera one evening, taking a few shots of the wild baby kittens that pass through our yard. As soon as I close the door to the back yard, I hear this whoosh and this enormous thing, that was sitting on the roof, takes flight. I'm fumbling for my camera to get "the perfect shot", which didn't happen. Feeling disappointed, I look up and I find this, right above my head, looking down at me......even as magnificent as this is, I felt like dinner

Samplings From Our Garden.....

2009-08-02T20:26:00.009-06:00

I LOVE having a vegetable garden. I love planting, waiting for new plantlings to come up through the ground, watering, pruning, spraying bugs and finally the harvest. I really love it. The year I was ill I wasn't able to do a garden and it was very, very hard for me to let that go. This year, we did some fun new things. My dearest friend, Cecile, told me to plant purple beans and purple potatoes. We couldn't find purple potatoes but we did plant beans and they are so yummy! They really are purple! When you cook them, they go back to being green. Here are a few things from our garden that are so yummy!

Butter Lettuce was also something new we tried and it turned out wonderful!

And of course, red potatoes......so yummy, so yummy!

To Those Who Inspire....

2009-07-27T14:24:00.006-06:00

My "aunt" Elizabeth, okay she's not my aunt, she's one of my Aunt Catherine's very best friends and one we grew up with. Her husband, during some tests after hurting his back, discovered he had cancer. Aggressive and, no, it was not caught early. He's been through surgery after surgery and the prognosis isn't good.......and yet, they LIVE. When my aunt called me in June, I got the distinct impression that it would be weeks. A few, at the most......and yet, we are approaching August. I know, I KNOW, that he has been granted the gift of time. Maybe for him, maybe for her, maybe for both of them. It is a testament, again, to the love our Father in Heaven has for us. When someone you love deeply is sick, time is everything.
Sometimes it's years, sometimes it's measured in months, sometimes weeks......but it is time. Here is a picture of Elizabeth and David running a 5K......just a few days ago.Elizabeth has been a runner as long as I have known her. She's also a vegetarian, a gifted scholar, has beautiful eyes, a delightful sense of humor, and a fun Wisconsin accent. I haven't had the chance to interact with David a lot as they live in Maine now, but I know he's a very good man. If Elizabeth loves him, he's a keeper. We love you both, a ton! Always, Your Idaho Family

My Favorite Things.....this week

2009-07-17T13:56:00.012-06:00

I haven't done a "Favorite Things" post for awhile with all the hustle and bustle of summer and yard work......so here goes

*My Refrigerator
It's been making odd noises and the freezer isn't working properly and it's only 5 years old. We've done everything we can think of to make it work but it looks like the Dr is going to have to pay a house call. I LOVE my refrigerator. We bought it when we bought our house and I have always been really happy with it. Sigh.

*Wolverine CanyonIt's a place my mom likes to go just outside of Idaho Falls. We drove through it when I was up there last and it's really a fun place to take a drive. She snapped a picture of me on this log over this little stream.......and yes, I almost fell in. The little wild daisies growing everywhere were so fun to see! I just love daisies.....*HorsesAnyone who knows me, knows I am a sucker for horses.....I always have been. I love their ears, their eyes, and their personalities. I love how beautiful they are, how fun they are to ride, and that you have to earn their trust. I'm pretty sure I will have a horse in my lifetime again. Even if I have to steal one. :o)

*Popsicles
They are cold in 95 degree weather, they have 50 calories, they are sweet and they make your tongue turn funny colors. Who wouldn't want that? It's childhood and it's summer all in one little treat.

I Just Don't Get It......

2009-07-12T07:33:00.003-06:00

*Why Bugs Bunny, who doesn't wear pants, gets out of the shower and wraps a towel around his waist.

*At the end of the day, whether the stock market has risen or plummeted, everyone stands around clapping and smiling

*Doing our hair BEFORE we go to get it cut

*People who never leave a comment on your blog (yes, you know who you are......)

*Sports announcers.......wow. Do they ever listen to themselves?

*Why Charlie is short for Charles......they both have the same number of letters

*Why we call it The First Vision.....shouldn't it be The First Visitation?

*Why the word "lisp" has an "s" in it.....isn't that just mean?

*"Love ya".....it's like a really frightened version of "I love you" -- If we feel that way, then why not say the words?

Week 3--The Mowing, THE mowing

2009-07-03T17:45:00.005-06:00

It's just so exciting. We have a real yard. We mowed the lawn for the first time last week, and 3 days later, it looked like it needed it again. I am loving it! It's just such a lovely green color and our dear neighbors across the street don't have to cringe when they look out their front window anymore. Hoorah!
Before.......
And the cute guy I hired to mow the lawn is doing a great job!

The Very Belated Father's Day Tributes

2009-07-01T15:41:00.012-06:00

Okay.....I have been out of town and so I wasn't able to finish up my Father's Week Tributes......so you are getting my last entry a little late. Sorry, kids, it's just how summer works.
This last entry is for my Uncle Bill. Bill is the most constant man in my life for many reasons, not the least of which is just sheer numbers. He's been the one man in my life who has known and loved me since birth. He baptized me, he was with me when I went through the temple for the first time, when I got married, he's been one of my Dads from the beginning. When I got married and my Dad was so sick, I knew I could call on Bill and he would move right into that place without any hesistation. He has always been good about stepping in when he knew I needed a Dad.....sometimes before I even knew I needed him. I have watched him settle into himself over the years and I have always been profoundly grateful for his love, for his counsel, for his guidance, for the husband he is, the father he is, and the grandfather he is. Here are some things I love about him.....

He's generous--with time, with money, with patience
He has huge, teddy bear hands......sometimes I think I would feel the most safe just crawling into them and never leaving
He's a marvelous hugger--I always get a big hug before and after I visit.....I love that
He's extremely partiotic and deep feelings about our flag
He's a vetran--my aunt told me that when we were at our family reunion she talked to a man who had served under him and told my aunt that he's never served under a man who is so duty oriented and yet, so respectful and kind
He loves a treat after dinner
He is more concerned about feelings than things--last year at Bear Lake, I sucked up a plastic bag riding Bill's brand new Jetski. I came back down to the beach and it's smoking and I felt my stomach drop to my knees. I walked over there to offer both of my kidneys to pay for it and he put his arm around me, pulled me close and said, "We are NOT going to worry about this." Luckily, we got the plastic out and all is fine, but I learned that day one imporant lesson that I hadn't quite known to that depth before.......I mattered. I mattered more than his brand new toy.....and it has made me feel differently about myself since.
He is never afraid to ask about my life......all the details and even those things that are tender. He wants to know all those parts of my world and of me and it communicates great love as he has earned the right to ask.
We have this banana joke that is now in it's 15th year. He lost a bet about where bananas come from and now he calls me his "Little Ecuadorian Banana"
He's a sweetheart to his sweetheart
I love to hear him pray
I know I can go to him for help.....anytime

For all the Dads in this world who make it brighter and better by loving the women in them, thank you.....you will be the difference in the generations to come. For my brother, my brother-in-laws, my Dads, my Uncles, my Grandpas......I love you.

Clark Family Reunion.....again

2009-06-24T09:01:00.005-06:00

I am experimenting with this blogging pictures in a slideshow/movie idea, so bear with me as I figure it out.

Father's Week....continued

2009-06-23T09:08:00.004-06:00

As a continued celebration of fathers this week, I wanted to add Darren's Dad, Terry. When I first met Darren, I had already known his parents because the ward I had moved into, Darren's Dad was the Bishop. I loved him immediately and he was patient with me as feeling comfortable in a new ward didn't come right away. When I began dating Darren and then we became engaged, we were talking in Dad's office about a few pre-wedding things. One of which was what to call my new in-laws. I had seen many difficulties between parents and new daughter-in-laws and I wanted to create a different experience, so when he suggested I call him "Dad" if I felt comfortable, I knew "Dad" it was. Plus, how do you go from "Bishop" to "Terry?" It all worked out, but there are many reasons I love him, and here are just a few:

He's much like my Dad.....very patient and kind
He's funny--and when I tease him about things, even though he might want to kill me, he's very fun to laugh with
His taste in hats.....sigh. See picture below for evidence :o)
His good nature
His love for buying random things at the grocery store (like pomegranate juice....remember that Dad? Mom was so bugged. I still laugh at that)
His willingness to be the travel agent for the entire world (I'm sure he's tired of that role, but I always feel safe when I know Dad has been the planner)
He's always game to try something new
We both love Keva
Like my mom, he's a movie buff
He loves animals.....I never have to worry about Oliver when he comes to visit
The only time I ever see his feathers get ruffled is when he is losing a game.....tennis, board games, cards (which isn't very often, let me tell you. However, he has yet to play Snatch again with me after I beat him last time)
He's unbelievably generous (in our years of health issues and baby issues, Dad has come to me more than once to offer to help us financially in adoption. Although, thus far, it's been fruitless, it's spoke volumes to me that he would approach me on it and be willing to help)
He has very pretty eyes
When he's dressed for church, especially in his black suit.......he looks just smashing--I think Dad has gotten more handsome as he has gotten older. Not true for everyone, but true for Dad

I love you Dad......a bunch. Thank you for all you do for me and for our family. It doesn't go unnoticed.This is Dad on our last trip to DC, right outside the National Cathedral. We found him outside, with his little hat on, reading the newspaper while trying to feed a squirrel part of his granola bar.

Favorite Foto

2009-06-22T15:58:00.004-06:00

This is a photo taken about 4 years ago at this time of year in Park City. I am on the very right holding one my sister-in-law's twins. Camille, Bonnie, and I just sitting by the pool, holding babies, and watching everyone play. I love this picture. You can almost believe that I fit in here.

Grass Update.....after 2 weeks!

2009-06-22T15:43:00.002-06:00

Seriously, look at this! I think we might have a Garden of Eden situation here. I am amazed at how well it's doing after 2+ weeks. Darren will be mowing tomorrow.

Happy Father's Day......day 1

2009-06-21T19:01:00.003-06:00

When my Dad joined our family, I was a mere 11 years old, the oldest of 3 children, and had some fears about having a new Dad in our family. All 3 of us wanted Mom to marry Bart, but we all had our own hurts and worries that accompanied it. Over the years that apprehension has grown into a deep feeling of gratitude and peace. I love my Dad. Here's why.....

I love his kindness to other people
I love his calm, patient demeanor
I love how brilliant he is (he reads ALL the time)
I love his sense of humor (Mystery Science Theater 2000--hilarious)
I love his willingness to take on 3 kids and want them to be his own
I love his beautiful hair
I love when he teases my brothers that I am the favorite
I love that I have never, ever seen him lose his temper
I love his foot rubs
I love that he taught me how to hit golf balls across the river at grandma & grandpa's house
I love that he gave me his name, had me sealed to him, and in that gave me a sense of security and belonging
I love that he has taught me that blood is thicker than water, and love is thicker than anything

I love you, Dad......so much. Happy Father's Day........Love, The Favorite :o)

Thank You, Thank You

2009-06-20T15:16:00.002-06:00

Happening in 1976:

Cost of a first class stamp: $0.13
Life Expectancy: 72 (yep, almost half way there)
Jimmy Carter was elected President (Yikes!)
Supreme Court rules that the death penalty is not cruel or unusual and is an acceptable form of punishment (as is Chuck-A-Rama)
Wimbledon Women's Champ: Chris Evert
Summer Olympics held in Montreal
Winter Olympics held in Innsbruck
Record of the Year: "Love Will Keep Us Together"
Song of the Year: "Send In the Clowns"--now that is just mean......I just hate clowns. Bar none, the scariest thing out there

Well, it's official......I'm now 33. Whew. Admitting it is the first step, I've heard. This is a lame way to do it, but until I get through my Relief Society lesson tomorrow and live to tell about it, thank you notes will have to wait.

Truly, I just wanted to express my love and gratitude for all the cards, gifts, phone calls, and "Happy Birthday" wishes that I received this week. It's such a boost and means the world to me to hear from you. I know you all have busy lives and lots going on, so I truly recognize the sacrifices. Thank you. I love each of you and I will be getting my notes in the mail.

We Planted GRASS!!!

2009-06-18T17:47:00.005-06:00

Finally, after 3 million years......the wait is over. We actually planted grass in our yard.....and it's coming up. I am so excited about this I can't stand it. It feels like we have a real house now and the feeling outside is beginning to reflect the feeling inside. I just love green and growth in my yard. :o) My entire family, every sibling and my parents, came to help us. I think that, working together in harmony at MY house, was an almost bigger gift than getting grass. Thank you Mom, Dad, Ammer, Josh, Jake, Zachary......I love each of you so.

Okay.....here are the before pictures.....And one week later......you can see the green! It's like green fur all over the ground! It's so exciting!

Favorite Foto--Embarrassing my brother

2009-06-11T12:36:00.003-06:00

I really try and be a cool sister. Sometimes it's just really fun to be the big sister, and humiliate my brothers. This is me on Halloween, wearing a shirt like a pumpkin, a skirt like a witch, and a mask that looks like some scary old man........trying to kiss and love on my brother Zach when he got out of school. My "coolness" might have gone down a bit for Zach, but it really was worth it. It's one of those things that is passed down through the generations.....right?
On the upside, when I was in high school and came to Seminary once for a meeting, one of the other students came in from the hallway into the room we were meeting in to tell me that there were 2 nuns in the foyer that wanted to know more about the church. Yeah. I got out there and it's my mother and her friend dressed up in nun outfits. Zach, baby, you got off easy! :o)

Happy Birthday, Catherine

2009-06-07T08:45:00.004-06:00

My Auntie Catherine is 58 years old today. In her honor, a few things about her......Happy Birthday, Cath!!! 1-She's my mother's sister.....the 2nd to youngest and older than my mother by 5 years
2-She's been 'the other parent' for us off and on through the years
3-She's lives 2 blocks away from my Mom and it's very fun to get my hot chocolate and walk down there in the morning.....
4-Cath has very strong feelings about animal kindness
5-Equally as strong are those for people who are unkind to the elderly
6-We have the same hands (more so than any other person in our family)
7-She has a dog named Annie.....who beefed up this winter and now weighs (when she's soaking wet.....3 ounces)
8-Annie is a Pomeranian
9-Cath likes Carol Channing
10-Cath likes chocolate covered blueberries
11-Cath loves cheese
12-She has the most quirky sense of humor--it's hilarious sometimes
13-I can't see a pair of Keds tennis shoes and not think of Cath
14-She calls them short pants, instead of capris
15-She thinks peanut butter on toast is good
16-She and my mother taught me to swim before I could say full sentences
17-She used to be a lifeguard
18-She used to work with mentally handicapped children and adults and they still know her and love her when they see her
19-She used to work with mentally ill adults and they feel the same way
20-There isn't much in human behavior that phases her
21-She loves to go to the Villa
22-She likes it when we share starts from our gardens
23-On Halloween we like to go over to her house, dressed in scary garb, and frighten the trick-or-treaters......her idea, mind you (it's so fun)
24-Our birthdays are exactly one week apart
25-Her middle name is Elizabeth......like the Queen.....
26-She was named after 2 of her mother's sisters
27-"Gads" was one of her favorite words
28-We used to have contests on who could drink V-8 juice the quietest in the middle of the night when she'd come and stay with us......only Cath could get a 7 year old to drink V-8 juice
29-She has a heart of gold
30-She fakes knee injuries to get out of getting beat in tennis :o)
Happy Birthday, Catherine.......I love you!

The Newest Addition To Our Home

2009-05-31T17:57:00.005-06:00

Sooooooooo.......Darren and I have been pondering what a pain it is to have to travel with Oliver so much. He hates it, we hate it, and when it's not for extremely long periods of time, we would just rather leave him home. However, since we are responsible pet owners, we know that Oliver hasn't ever known life only through the eyes of a kitty. He's only known life with us and is very social and very "humanized." The ideal thing......a playmate. A playmate = another cat. Not something we've wanted to do......not now, not even a little bit. So, I'm in Idaho Falls a few weeks ago for a few Dr appointments and my brother comes home from mowing a neighbors lawn and summons my mother to follow him. They return with 2 little, tiny kittens who were abandoned by their wild mother. Dilemma.....what to do now. Long story short (too late, you are thinking) we now have a little sister for Oliver. The much anticipated playmate.....and they really have come to love each other. It's been very fun to watch.
Her name, you ask??? Well, look at her.....she's feisty, she's nearly all black...even her pads on her paws and her nose. Black. The only logical name is.....yep, you guessed it.....Elphie. So, meet our little Elphie.

Fun at Mesa Falls

2009-05-31T17:44:00.008-06:00

Darren and I had the chance to go to Mesa Falls when we were in Idaho Falls last week. It was very fun and very refreshing to be playing outside with my family. We headed up to the lower falls and then to the upper falls which are about a mile away. It was beautiful. On our way back we played in Warm River while everyone else relaxed or fished. It was very fun!

This is the lower FallsThis is the upper Falls

Me with my sister, Amber.....

Me with my honey.....

A little something carved into one of the trees. Evidentally, someone knew we were coming.....Me and my brother, Zach, wading through Warm River.......it's also NOT very warm this time of year. They should rename it Glacier Run-Off Death River when it's this cold. However, it's just beautiful up there.

10 Years Ago......

2009-05-20T07:43:00.008-06:00

Tomorrow, it will be 10 years ago that Darren and I walked into the walls of the Bountiful Temple as two pretty cool single people......and walked out an eternal family. My grandfather, who sealed us, reminded us of our covenants. We haven't ever forgotten that, Grandpa. From others, I remember much of the counsel I received was that the first year is always the hardest. That wasn't the case with Darren and I. Our most difficult years came as we struggled to bring the rest of our family into our home. We learned early on that trials can cement a relationship quicker or drive you apart faster, depending on if you turn to each other and invite the Lord to be part of the process.

Looking back over our decade as a married couple I have grown a lot. I always knew I would marry someone who loved the Gospel, who took his covenants seriously, who honored the divinity of womanhood, who was patient and kind, who was willing to put aside the ego for humility, and through all of it, teach me some powerful lessons. I found that in Darren. Not only that, but he's quite a beautiful thing to look at too. :o)

I see women around me who are struggling with husbands who find it difficult to see beyond themselves, who don't understand their role as provider, who don't lead out in family worship, and who struggle to keep the 'natural man' in check.

I am forever grateful for a husband who never makes me worry, who doesn't expect me to take on his roles, and in that allows me greater joy in taking on my role as wife and mother in our home. Hopefully, our children will get the idea and come motoring down from heaven. Either way......I couldn't have ridden this ride without my love. Happy Anniversary, sweetheart.

Mother's Week Wednesday

2009-05-13T07:05:00.007-06:00

My Grandma Snow

Grandma Snow is 91 1/2 years old as of January 12th. She was born at the tail end of WWI and has seen many things in her life.

I have one very early memory of Grandma. I was about 3 and either not feeling well or couldn't sleep. She came in (we were staying with her in California) and picked me up and carried me down the hall, all the while singing into my ear.
Grandma is very optimistic. She's always had a little bit of lower back trouble but as she has gotten older, it's gotten a lot worse. She's never one to cry and bemoan everything and when she mentions on the phone that she's had a little back pain, I know it's more than just a little. She loves to see the bright side to things.
Her hair! She's in her 90's and still has mostly black hair. It's very unfair and I had BETTER have gotten that gene. It's odd to look at pictures of her when she was in her 60's and 70's and still has a full head of thick, black hair. I did get my hair from her, and for that I am grateful.
She loves it when I read scriptures to her. She always has. As her vision isn't super these days, she loves to have her daughters or granddaughters read her the scriptures. Grandma appreciates those simple things and I just love her for it.
She is fiercely defensive of our Savior and his Gospel. I see quite often, that Grandma and I are cut from the same cloth. Even in our weaknesses, I see this, and it is still endearing. Many patterns even regarding the church we both have had in our lifetimes. Callings and our husbands working for the church are just a few. I think I inherited my grandma's sense of love and devotion for my Savior as well as enjoying service in the Church.
She can still out spell me. It's amazing. I keep waiting for her to get old and senile and it just isn't happening. We both were quite the spellers in school and won competitions. To this day, when we work on puzzles together, it's rare that she's ever wrong with a spelling of a word.
Grandma was quite the disciplinarian I hear, when her kids were growing up. I have loved watching life soften her. The same principles and values haven't changed, but life has caused her to soften and to be gentler on herself and others. I love that in her. I love to see her be kind and reach out to those around her, wherever she may be. I love you Grandma and I am so glad you are mine!

Mother's Week Continued.....

2009-05-12T08:51:00.012-06:00

Darren's mother, Marilyn.......
I knew when I got married, I had to have a good relationship with my in-law parents. I had heard and seen enough of the contrary that I knew I wanted something different for myself. Now that I have been part of the Lotz family for nearly a decade now, there are some things I have come to love about his mother.

**Mom has a contagious laugh. She laughs easily and when you really get her good or something is really funny and catches her off guard, her laugh makes me start to laugh. It's the sound of delight. Often, if she's laughing at me, it's followed by an "oh, Ferf!"

**Mom thinks through anything before she says it. And actually, their whole family is like this. They don't answer reactionary or flippant. They think about how they really feel or what they really think, and then answer. Through the years it has taught me to become better in touch with my honest thoughts and feelings in the moment.

**We are related.....by blood. While I was dating Darren, Mom commented to me that she had a grandmother with the same last name as my father. After a little research we found the common link. It was a little odd to realize that I was now related to this family whether I married Darren or not, but it also was very fun. With all the people in the world, we found each other. That's pretty cool in my book.

**When I was first married to Darren and mom and I would have a difference of opinion, or something one of us did that did NOT work for the other, talking about it didn't go well oft times. I think I wasn't sure how to say it, and mom didn't want to hear it.....but both of us wanted to work through it so it wouldn't be an issue between us. There are still things we don't totally agree on, but we still love each other and want to be respectful. I have watched Mom go from quite afraid of talking about problems to quite open. It is a compliment to me that she loves me enough to be willing to look at issues that might be hard to do. I'm not the easiest person to talk to sometimes and so I really appreciate her willingness.

**Mom calls me....a lot. Most daughters in law and mother in laws don't talk as often as we do. And we talk less than we used to. I appreciate that when I am feeling a little invisible or "left out" as we live away from both of our families, I know I will get a call from mom sometime. She seems to know when it's been too long since we touched in and manages to know that I might be feeling lonely.

**There have been many times she has offered to help us. Many times she has been a huge support after surgery or illness. Many times she has come to visit when I needed some company. Many times she has returned my frustrations with love. I love you Mom.....and I am grateful for ALL the ways we are related, and all the things that have drawn us closer.

Mother's Week

2009-05-11T10:47:00.008-06:00

So I was tagged to carry the whole Mother's Day theme throughout the week this week. Each day, as I started Sunday with my own mom, I wanted to honor other moms I see and know.
My Cousin Leslie
We are the oldest of our mother's children, who are sisters, one being the oldest the other (mine) being the youngest. We are 16 years apart and have one of the easiest relationships I've ever known. She's an amazing picture of womanhood as well as motherhood. SO....here's to you Leslie.

She is very nearly, ALWAYS happy. Sometimes when people first meet Leslie, they think her optimism is insincerity. It isn't. She's really upbeat most all of the time. Sometimes when she'll apologize for being a little grumpy one morning I pretend to know what she's talking about because her grumpy is the equivalent of someone else's good day.

She loves being a mom. Now, every mom says this, because it's probably true.....but I watch Leslie truly enjoy her children. Even when they are freaking out about hair, or friends, or business ventures. She enjoys and loves ALL of them in all their stages. She's very objective about how funny some of it is and yet very understanding of how big it can feel to break your pocketknife to an 8 year old.

She's very fun. When they first moved into their new house, somehow the water didn't work properly. So we got to head to the laundry-mat to do 7 peoples laundry. It took FOREVER. But when I look back on it, I just remember laughing and getting fun treats and enjoying the time we had together.

She's full of faith. Leslie really expects the best case outcome to most anything. Whether it's a problem or a trial, she knows there's a reason and she knows it won't last forever. I rarely see her get too overwhelmed by something in this world. She just knows it will work out.

She's very kind. I have watched her deal with all kinds of people. In her job she deals with all kinds of personalities and all kinds of conflicts, generally over money. I watch her handle herself and each person with kindness and respect and still manages to keep it all in check. I watch her with family members, that I would like to punch, and she is understanding and kind and yet, and clear about boundaries.

She loves the Savior. Leslie's methods, in the many years I have known her, haven't always been the most orthodox. She doesn't always run with the crowd and oft times that can bring some unfair judgement and criticism. Her response is always to follow her own heart and to return it with kindness. I admire her to have the courage to be who she is, and allow others the same gift when it isn't often extended to her. Her understanding of the Gospel and her love of Deity is something I strive to see better in myself each day. I am grateful for her and I love her very much!